Taxing Faxing, Part 13

| London, England, UK | Right | October 3, 2014

Customer: “Did you get the order I faxed you over?  I haven’t heard back from you.”

Me: “Yes, I did get it and tried to fax you a pro forma back, but it kept ringing out.”

Customer: “Yeah, I always unplug the fax machine after I send a fax.”

It’s All Peachy

, | St. Paul, MN, USA | Right | October 3, 2014

(I work as a sales associate at a large chain bath product store that caters mostly to women. I am stationed at the front of the store, greeting customers and handing out shopping bags. A huge, tough-looking man walks into the store and looks around awkwardly. He looks like a motorcycle gang member from a movie: tattoos, leather, and a bandanna.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. I’m [Name]. Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: *shifts uncomfortably* “Yeah, I need lotion and shower gel.”

(I knew he felt as out of place as he looked so rather than just pointing, I walk him over to the largest display of bath products.)

Me: “Are you shopping for someone special?”

Customer: “Yeah. Me.”

(He was pointedly not making eye contact with me so I allowed myself a split-second look of shock.)

Customer: *mutters* “My girlfriend likes it when I smell like a peach.”

(Needless to say, I walked around the entire store with him. I even introduced him to some new fruity fragrances!)

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Gunning For That Sale

| USA | Right | October 2, 2014

(I have been working with this customer for a little over an hour and a half. He picks out his rifle, ammo, cleaning kit, scope – the whole nine yards. I am excited because we get commission on what we sell. We finally get to the point where we fill out paperwork, background check, etc.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Now that we have everything ready, if you can, please let me see your ID so we can get the paperwork started?”

Customer: “No, I don’t need to do paperwork.”

Me: *thinking he’s joking, I laugh*

(Awkward silence.)

Customer: “So… are you gonna ring me up?”

Me: “You need to fill out the paperwork so I can perform a background check first.”

Customer: “Look, I’m a police officer. I don’t need to do the paperwork.”

Me: “Uh, yes, you do. Everyone needs to do paperwork for a firearm purchase, even the president.”

Customer: “I don’t give a s*** about the president. Now, are you going to sell me the rifle or not?”

Me: “Are you going to fill out the paperwork?”

Customer: “Nope. *turns and leaves*

Me: *screams internally*

(He came back the next day trying to buy the same rifle but with another employee. I told him the story from the day before. He told the customer to leave. Never saw him again.)

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This Job Is Just Impossible

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Working | October 2, 2014

(At this store we wear headsets to communicate with each other since it is a big store. This conversation takes place over the headsets as Coworker #1 is following around a suspected shoplifter to make sure they don’t take anything.)

Coworker #1: “I feel like I’m in Mission Impossible, being all sneaky like this.”

Coworker #2: *starts humming ‘Mission Impossible’ theme song*

Coworker #3: “Now you just need to do a duck and roll behind a rack.”

Manager: “I will give someone $20 if they do a duck and roll on the sales floor right now.”

(I was back in the fitting rooms getting some very strange looks from customers as I burst out laughing for no apparent reason.)

What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 4

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Working | October 1, 2014

(I have several friends’ birthdays coming up, so I decide to buy what ends up being a large number of bath products from a small store in a mall near my home. The store is right next to a place of worship.)

Cashier: “Your total comes to [price].”

Me: “Great.”

(I hand her some cash, but she doesn’t move to take it, leaving me hanging with my arm stretched out, clutching several paper notes.)

Cashier: “Before you pay, are you a member of the Church of Truth?”

Me: “No, I’m not. Can I pay, please?”

Cashier: “Oh, how unfortunate. Church members get an 8% discount. If we applied that to your purchase, you would only have to pay [slightly lower price]!”

Me: “I’m not a member, and I’d just like to pay. Please take my money.”

Cashier: “It’s not too late to join, you know. You just have to accept the truth of god the savior into your heart! And then you can get an 8% discount on all your purchases!”

Me: “I am not about to join a church to get a discount. And I’m not interested in them anyway. Please stop refusing to let me pay and just accept my money.”

(The cashier starts a very obviously memorized spiel about the church. The entire time, my hand is a foot in front of her, awkwardly holding the money for my purchase. Eventually I interrupt.)

Me: “Are they paying you to advertise for them or something?”

Cashier: *startled, and suddenly looking very guilty* “N-no, why would you think so?”

Me: “Look. I have to walk right past that place to get here. So does everyone. There’s no other way to your shop. If I’m interested in them, I’ll go and have a look in my own time. Right now, though, I’ve explicitly said that I’m not interested. Maybe I’ll decide to have a look at their stuff at some point in the future, but it’s unlikely, ESPECIALLY given the fact that you’re trying to pressure me into it and are leaving a very bad taste in my mouth associated with them and your business – the opposite of what an advertisement should be achieving, actually. What you are doing is refusing to serve a customer based on their religious beliefs, which are none of your business, frankly, and is blatant discrimination, not to mention unprofessional and amoral. So we have two options here. Either you allow me to pay for these products, or I take my business elsewhere. But I don’t want to hear another word of your advertisement.”

Cashier: “But… They help you find the truth within yourself—”

Me: “Goodbye.”

(I left my items on the counter and walked out. Bewildered and angry, I related the story to some friends, only to discover that one had been to the same store and had the same experience! Due to the mall being across the road from my home, I was able to witness the number of customers at the bath stop drop steadily until they closed six months later, followed by a series of scathing newspaper articles relating to the whole mess. It turned out that it’s not wise to only accept business from people belonging to a group which isn’t big enough to keep your business afloat, even if they pay you advertisement money to do it!)

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