From The Mouth Of Babes

| MI, USA | Family & Kids

(I work at a major retail store in the deli. Two children aged 8 and 5 come up to order food. The 5 year old is close to touching the lower part of the hot case.)

Me: “Careful sweetie, this is kept very hot and you could burn yourself.” *to the 8 year old* “You’d be surprised how many people burn themselves on this thing.”

8 year old: “Well, they all obviously need glasses, because there’s a warning that says ‘Caution: Hot!’ right in front of their faces.”

Me: “You’re more intelligent than most adults who come up here!”

Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3

| CO, USA | Liars & Scammers

(I am working at the guest service desk at a big box store. It is customary when a box is returned that we open the box and check that all the content are inside.)

Me: “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to return this vacuum. It doesn’t work very well. I have my receipt.”

Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do for you…”

(I take the opened box and as I’m trained to do, look inside. Instead of the vacuum picture on the size, there is a different vacuum inside. In fact, this vacuum is a different size and brand, and is very much used.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems that you have placed the wrong vacuum inside this box. It looks like you are trying to return your old, used vacuum and keep the new one.”

Customer: *picks up box and runs out of the store*

Related:
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

Send Him To The Sister Store

| Rahway, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(Our newest employee is a very sweet 18-year-old girl. She’s only been working for a week, when a customer starts giving her a hard time.)

Rude Customer: “You f***ing b****! Can’t you do s*** right?!”

18-year-old Cashier: *trying not to cry* “Sir, I’m sorry! You told me to take-”

Rude Customer: “Forget it! I’ll go to [similar store nearby], where they actually hire decent people!”

18-year-old Cashier: “I was only-”

Rude Customer: “F*** you! You’re probably some b**** who’s never worked a day in her life! I bet you’re not even in school! Probably just waiting to get knocked up so you can live on welfare and sit on your lazy fat a** all day!”

(He continues screaming at her and making disparaging remarks. I’m about to get the manager when a female customer walks in, sees what’s going on and speaks up.)

Female Customer: “Hey, will you shut up and stop being such a jacka**?! What’s your problem?!”

Rude Customer: “This b**** can’t do s*** right! She shouldn’t be working if she’s too stupid to do anything!”

Female Customer: “That ‘b****’ is my big sister and if you call her that again, I’ll knock your f***ing head off!”

Rude Customer: “Please! You’re probably about as worthless as her!”

Female Customer: “Try me.”

Rude Customer: “Crazy b****!” *runs out*

(It turned out the female customer really was the cashier’s sister. We were scared the cashier wouldn’t come back after that day, but she did and told us the guy was smart to run away because her sister, who’s only 15, really could’ve injured him if she fought!)