Deaf To Reason, Part 5

| QLD, Australia | Right | October 12, 2014

Manager: “Can you please see that customer; he says he’s having trouble hearing his phone.”

Me: “Which is it, he can’t hear it or the sound isn’t working?”

Manager: “I’m not quite sure. Um, also… he’s deaf.”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “Please, you’re so good with these customers.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I head over and greet the customer and run a few basic checks on his mobile and immediately see the volume is working as it should.)

Me: “Well, sir, the volume appears to be working just fine, but you were having trouble hearing it, is that correct?”

Customer: “Oh, I can hear it just fine now. That’s no problem. But sometimes I like to go for a walk and when I do, I take my hearing aid out. Then I can’t hear it anymore! What do you suggest I do?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “…uh, I suggest you put your hearing aid back in?”

(The customer nods and looks at me expectantly, as if I have further advise to dispense.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I really can’t think of any other solution, under the circumstances.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I suppose that will have to do then!” *walks off looking quite dissatisfied*

R

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More Money Than Sense

| USA | Right | October 11, 2014

(As I am ringing up a customer, I begin asking her the standard questions that I’m required to ask as a cashier. She is buying a tablet.)

Me: “Would you like to add on a year of coverage to this in case it gets dropped or stops working?”

Customer: “No, it’s only $100. If it breaks, I’ll just get a new one.”

The Number Must Have Popsicled Into Their Head

, | New Zealand | Working | October 11, 2014

(I am eight at the time. I go to the gas station retailer to buy two popsicles, which cost 99c each. I have a “buy one get one free” card for the popsicles, but when I buy two I am charged $1.98. I thought there was an increase in price so I just leave, but I mention it to my dad in the car.  My dad tells me off and makes me go back in to the cashier with the receipt.)

Me: “Um. Excuse me, how much is this popsicle?”

Cashier #1: “99c.”

Me: *startled* “Then why did I get charged $1.98?”

Cashier #1: “Because you bought two.”

Me: “But I have a ‘get one free’ card!”

Cashier #1: “Okay, I’ll try again.” *points to popsicle #1* “This popsicle is 99c.”

Me: “Okay…”

Cashier #1: “And you get this one:” *points to popsicle 2* “…for free.”

Me: “Yes…?”

Cashier #1: “So the price is $1.98.”

Me: “Huh?”

(Cashier #2, beside Cashier #1, overhears the entire conversation and interjects.)

Cashier #2: “Here, son, I’ll fix it for you…”

(Cashier #1 remained confused after I left the store with my change.)

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Required: One Marauder’s Map

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | October 10, 2014

(I work in a large retail store that requires maps for customers. An older woman approaches me with said map…)

Woman: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

Woman: “Well, that map:” *points to the one bolted to the floor* “It shows me where I’m currently standing, but this one:” *shows the paper map she’s holding* “doesn’t. Why?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, that’s the map you actually carry throughout the store. There’s no way for it to know where you are at any time.”

Woman: “Well, all of your maps should show me where I am in the store!”

Me: *taking her paper map* “Let me see if I can get the GPS on this paper map fixed for you.”

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A Temporary Hot Pocket

| ON, Canada | Right | October 9, 2014

(I am working at a dollar store. We have a very belligerent couple who are always rude and always bringing their dogs into the store. One day they get a new puppy and the man very obviously tries to hide it in his jacket. We all know about the dog, but wait until they are done paying to say this:)

Me: “Did you know your pocket peed down your front?”

(We haven’t seen them since.)

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