Trapped On Mount Karma

| UK | Bad Behavior, Geography, Health & Body, Top

(We are having one of the coldest Easters in record. I work in an outdoors equipment shop, where we sell everything for use in outdoor activities, from hiking boots and tents to climbing gear and ice picks. I also volunteer for the UK’s mountain rescue. My manager and colleagues all know this, and are happy for me to go on calls.)

Customer: “I’m looking for some hiking boots so I can go out in the snow.”

Me: “Okay, sir, they are just over here.”

(We walk over to where we display our boots. As he is looking, I get paged that my team is going out on a rescue.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, I am afraid I have to go. I volunteer for mountain rescue, but one of my colleagues will assist you.”

Customer: “What! How dare you! You shouldn’t trouble me just because some random people managed to get themselves hurt.”

(The customer grabs onto my sleeve. My manager comes over, as he is aware of my needing to leave.)

Manager: “Sir, please let my employee leave. I will help you personally, and we will give you some free walking socks for your inconvenience.”

(I eventually leave, and my team performs our rescue. The casualty had hypothermia and a broken leg, but other than that was fine. A couple of days later, my team get another call-out. I bet you can’t guess who it was…)

What She Said Makes You Stop Dead

| UK | Holidays, Rude & Risque

(I am helping pack an old lady customer’s gift-wrapping paper into the long bags designed for them.)

Me: “So, that’s six rolls of wrapping paper for £2. The plastic bags are a bit thin, so I may have to put it in two bags of three.”

Customer: “No, no, no, that won’t do. Just squeeze it into one; it will be fine.”

(The wrapping paper rolls are small, so four or five will just fit in one plastic bag. The handles, however, fit so tightly over the paper they cannot be held properly.)

Me: “Okay, I’ve got five in there but they are rather tight; another one in there may tear it.”

Customer: *creepy voice* “That’s what she said…”

(The whole shop is overcome by a stunned silence. My two colleagues next to me have stopped working, now with their jaws on the floor.)

Customer: “Speaking of which; shove it in there!”

(I managed to get the last roll in there, with it bent out of shape. She leaves with a laugh almost like a witch’s cackle, with the whole shop in silence.)

Me: *sigh* “Next customer, please…”

Donations Of Future Past

| Gatineau, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work as a cashier in a charity store. All of our merchandise is donated, so we have no idea what items we will have for sale until they are in the store.)

Customer: “Do you have a blender?”

Me: “No, unfortunately we do not have any right now.”

Customer: “Okay, do you know when you will have some?”

Me: “You know all of our merchandise is donated right?”

Customer: “Yes, so when will have a have some blenders?”

Me: “Well, I suppose that would be when someone within the community realizes they have a blender they don’t need, and brings it to us.”

Customer: “Okay, so when will that be?”