Stranger In A Sweet Land

| FL, USA | Top

Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for this movie. It was a funny movie and it is fairly new.”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me who is in it?”

Customer: “That fat guy from Superbad?”

Me: “Is it this movie?” *I pick up ‘Get him to the Greek’*

Customer: “Yeah! Thanks! Have a piece of candy.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I put the candy in my pocket, and walk to the counter to ring him up.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “You have a nice smile. You know what you win?”

Me: “No. What do I win?”

Customer: “A better piece of candy!”

(He hands me another piece of candy and walks out swinging his bag.)

Manager, to me: “Don’t eat that candy. It’s stranger candy.”

(Opposite Se)X-Men

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Top

(A little boy comes through my line holding a Wolverine figure. I scan it first and give it back to him before his parents groceries.)

Me: “So is Wolverine your favorite?”

Boy: *looks at me confused*

Me: “More then Beast or Nightcrawler?”

Boy: *tilts his head, more puzzled*

Me: “Rogue’s always been my favorite.”

Boy: “Bu-But, you’re old. And a girl!”

Adapt Your Knowledge Or Become Incontinent

| FL, USA | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(A customer is looking for a travel adapter for Egypt.)

Me: “Here is one that will work. It is for Africa?”

Customer: “I am not going to Africa. I am going to Egypt!”

Me: “Egypt is on the African continent.”

Customer: “Africa is a continent?”

Don’t Get Your Pantyhose In A Twist

| Canada | Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(The phone rings. My co-worker, a very proper, older lady, answers it.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [name of store] Beauty Department. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have pantyhose on?”

Coworker: “I beg your pardon?”

Caller: “Do you have pantyhose on?”

Coworker: *shocked* “Oh my! Such filth! I have never in my life!”

(She hangs up and runs to the break room completely flustered. A minute later the phone rings again and I answer it this time.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store name] Beauty Department, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes hello, I would like to know if you have pantyhose on sale this week? My husband called to check for me a moment ago and somebody hung up on him.”

Get The Correct Word, Step By Step

| Omaha, NE, USA | Funny Names, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(I’m stocking the shelves in the electronics/gadgets section when a husband and wife come over. The husband is shouting behind the wife.)

Husband, to me: “Pedometer! She wants a PEDOMETER!”

Wife, to husband: “Shut up! I know what I want!”

Husband: “Tell her it’s a Pedometer!”

Wife, to me: “Hi, do you have any pedofi–”

Me: “Pedometers!”

Page 362/542First...360361362363364...Last