Deeply Fried And Deeply Mistaken

| Onley, VA, USA | Right | January 17, 2014

(I work in a department store. I am helping stock shelves in the grocery department.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Could you help me find Sugar-Free Oreos?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I’m not too familiar with the grocery department and it takes us a while to find them.)

Me: “Oh! Here they are!”

Customer: “Oh! Thank you! I’m so happy you found them!”

Me: “No problem. Have a great day!”

Customer: “Well, my daughter bought them here last week. I’ve been looking for them ever since.”

Me: “I’m glad I could help—”

Customer: “You see, my grandkids love it when I make deep-fried Oreos, and I wanted to get the sugar-free kind because they’re healthier to deep-fry than the regular kind.”

1 Thumbs
1,447
VOTES

Speaking American Is A Country Diction In Terms, Part 2

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | January 17, 2014

(I’ve lived in New Jersey all my life, but had moved to Missouri roughly two months ago. I’m managing the fitting rooms in our store when a husband and wife approach me.)

Husband: “Ma’am, do you think you can help my wife find something?”

Me: “Oh! Of course! What were you looking for?”

(The couple stares at me in shock for a few seconds.)

Husband: “Where are you from? You have a very strange accent.”

Me: “I just moved out here from Jersey.”

Wife: “That’s in Europe, right?”

Me: “Er… no. I mean New Jersey. The state.”

Husband: “Oh, so you’re from Eastern Europe?”

Me: “No, sir. The East Coast of the United States.”

Husband: “Was New Jersey one of those Soviet countries?”

Wife: “It must have been. You poor dear, living under such oppression. Welcome to America! Your English really is excellent!”

Me: “Uh… thanks. What was it you were looking for?”

Wife: “Oh, I’ll get someone else to help me. I really dislike being helped by foreigners.”

Related:
Speaking American Is A Country Diction In Terms

1 Thumbs
1,987
VOTES

Paying The Price Of Stupidity

| Australia | Right | January 17, 2014

Customer: “What is the price of this?”

Me: *looking at price sticker* “It’s $20.”

Customer: “I thought things here were discounted?”

Me: “They are.” *I point to the price tag* “The original price was $100.”

(The customer points to the sticker with item’s model number printed on it.)

Customer: “That’s the price there.”

Me: “No. That’s the model number.”

Customer: “That’s the price, $3.85.”

Me: “No. There is no dollar sign in front of the number. It’s not the price, it’s the model number.”

Customer: “It’s clearly printed and it’s the price. You have to give it to me at that price, just as it’s written.”

Me: “Okay. You’ve got me. That’ll be $385, please.”

Customer: “What? Why? You can’t charge me that much!”

Me: “Well, you wanted the price to be just as it’s written, even though there is no dollar sign and it’s not on our normal price sticker. I need to point out that there is also no decimal point between the 3 and the 8.”

(The customer paid the $20.)

1 Thumbs
2,776
VOTES

Didn’t See The Kicker

| Pensacola, FL, USA | Right | January 16, 2014

(My girlfriend is a cashier, and I am a customer in her line. There’s a customer in front of me, giving her a hard time. He writes a check and hands it to her.)

Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but our system has declined your check.”

Customer: “What? I’m a millionaire! That’s not possible!”

Girlfriend: “Well, actually, I think it’s because the license and check are from different states. It’s to prevent identity theft.”

Customer: “Well, thank you for nothing, worthless b****! I know you did this on purpose!”

Girlfriend: “Sir, I can assure you I didn’t. Now. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “No! You d*** b****! You’re just being totally worthless! Why don’t we take this out to the parking lot?”

Me: “Oh, can I film that?”

Girlfriend: *smiling* “Absolutely.”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

Me: “Oh, didn’t you know? She’s a championship kickboxer. I just want to film her kicking your a**.”

(The customer huffs and stomps away.)

Girlfriend: “Aw, why did you scare him off? I was looking forward to that.”

1 Thumbs
2,231
VOTES

The Situation Is Unraveling And Unwrapping

| Gulf Shores, AL, USA | Right | January 16, 2014

(We offer gift wrapping where I work. Customer #1 has had her gifts wrapped BEFORE she purchases them, so I have no idea what she’s buying. She goes to get one of each item from the shelves. Instead of bringing all her items up at once, she proceeds to get them one piece at a time and insist that each one is ringing up wrong, even when they aren’t. Meanwhile, a customer comes up behind her.)

Me: “Sorry, we’re just waiting a bit.”

Customer #2: “Oh, it’s fine.”

(Customer #1 comes up with another shirt. I ring it up and, again, she argues about the price. It’s only a dollar difference so I just give it to her.)

Customer #1: “Wait! How the h*** am I supposed to know what I bought? How do I know what is in each box?”

Me: “I have no idea, Ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Well, you’re just useless, aren’t you? Void me out! I’m going to unwrap all of these, have them rewrapped, and then buy them!” *turning to Customer #2* “God, can you believe the people they hire here?””

Customer #2: “Honestly, I can’t.”

(Satisfied, Customer #1 moves down the counter and starts angrily unwrapping presents. Customer #2 puts her stuff on the counter, and in the process drops a candle.)

Me: “Oh! Did that break? You can get another one.”

(Customer #1 mutters something about me giving her a hard time and being too nice to Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “Oh, no. It’s fine.”

(Customer #2 places her candle on the counter, and I continue ringing her things up. As I start to ring up her jacket, I pull out the coat hanger and accidentally drop it. It hits Customer #2 in the chest.)

Me: “Oh, my God. I am SO sorry!”

Customer #2: *laughing* “Oh, I see how you are! I drop something in your floor, and you assault me!”

Customer #1: “Oh, my God! I saw everything! I’ll be a witness if you want, and you can sue her for all she’s worth.”

Customer #2: “Are you serious?”

Customer #1: “Absolutely. You can HAVE her job.”

Customer #2: “And have to deal with jerks like you all the time? Uh, no thanks!”

(Customer #1 storms off.)

Customer #2: “Thank God, eh? As I was saying, I can’t believe that [Retail Store] managed to find such a patient employee!”

1 Thumbs
2,400
VOTES
Page 361/769First...359360361362363...Last