You Need The Male Order Catalogue

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a retail store as a tech person. We also work the sales floor. A lady walks in and and I go over to help her.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you look for anything?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a husband.”

Me: “What does he look like?”

Customer: “No, I’m looking for a husband!”

Seeing Oneself In Others

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

(A regular comes in and hangs out for a while. Clearly, he doesn’t really want to go back to work.)

Customer: “It’s boring there. I don’t want to go back.”

(He sees a mannequin dressed in camo.)

Customer: “Can I take him with me? He’d blend right in.” *chuckles*

Me: “Um…he’s a tad heavy and falls apart a lot.”

Customer: “Perfect. He’s just like me!”

When In Rome (Or Canada)…

| British Columbia, Canada | Canada, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a tourist shop where we get Americans on a regular basis.)

Me: “Would you like to pay by credit card?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you know where I can find a Bank of America?”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but there isn’t any around here.”

Customer: “So you guys don’t have Bank of America.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, this is Canada.”

Related:
When In Rome (Or An Indian Restaurant)…
When In Rome (Or A Kosher Deli)…

Don’t Take Declined For An Answer

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I work at a large retail store. The store has its own credit card that customers can apply for.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I applied for a credit card yesterday, but I don’t have it yet. Can I still use it?”

Me: “Sure, as long as you have the temporary credit slip that you were given when you applied. Do you have that?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh. Did you leave it at home?”

Customer: “No. I don’t have one.”

Me: “Didn’t you get one when you applied?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, were you approved for the credit card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “So, I can’t use it?”

Me: “No, ma’am, you can’t use a credit card that you weren’t approved for.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s stupid!”

A Job Well Blown

| Bowling Green, KY, USA | Rude & Risque

(Our store has just installed new, more powerful hand dryers in the restrooms. I am using one when a customer comes up behind me.)

Customer: “These things give pretty powerful blow jobs, huh?”

Me: “Yeah, never heard that before.”

Customer: “I need a good blow job like that!”

Me: *hurriedly leaves the restroom*

Related:
Too Much Information, Part 6
Way, Way, Way Too Much Information
Way, Way Too Much Information

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