Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3

| USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is trying to use a vending machine. It doesn’t work, so she comes up to me.)

Customer:“Excuse me, my bills wont work. Can I exchange you for a five?”

(I don’t carry any cash on the shop floor.)

Me: “Sorry. All I have is this.”

(I pull out a Canadian five dollar bill.)

Customer: “What the heck is that?”

Me: “It’s a Canadian bill.”

(The customer continues to look confused.)

Customer: “What’s Canadian?”

Me: “It’s the country right above you. Canada?”

(The customer looks up to the ceiling, perplexed.)

Yukon Not Spend It
Yukon Not Believe This Juan
Yukon Spend It
Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
Yukon See It On A Map

Because Oosb’s Just Don’t Cut It Any More

| England, UK | Uncategorized

(A couple of customers walk up to the counter. They are purchasing a home cinema system.)

Me: “Do you need any HDMI cables with this?”

Customer #1: “Any what?”

Customer #2: “No.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be–”

Customer #2, to customer #1: “Wait. Hujdimmi?”

Customer #1: “Oh! Hujdimmi!”

Me: “HDMI, yes.”

Customer #1: “Yes. We need hujdimmi.”

Sweater Mystery Unravels

| USA | Top

(I am working at the customer service desk. A conservatively dressed woman in her early sixties walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Just a return.”

(She pulls out a very garish holiday sweater, covered entirely in bright red sequins.)

Me: “Okay, was there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “No. I just must have been really f****** high when I bought it. Look at it! It’s hideous! I don’t even remember buying this thing. I must have been really baked. D***, this is an ugly sweater!”

Best Just Throw In The Towel On This One

| Woodland Park, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to the register with two hand towels. They are on clearance.)

Customer: “The sign said these were buy one, get one free.”

Me: “Well, actually they’re clearance. So you’re saving $2.”

Customer: “I want what the sign says.”

Me: “I’m sorry about the sign being wrong, but you’re actually saving more money by them being on clearance.”

Customer: “You’re not listening to what I’m saying. I don’t care about saving money.”

(I charge her the extra two dollars.)

This Customer Is Literally Peanuts

| Williamsburg, VA, USA | Uncategorized

(The customer picks up a gift card. It has a picture of a pressed peanut plant on it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s a peanut plant. We have a local artist that does designs in pressed flowers.”

Customer: “That’s not what this is.”

Me: “Well, a peanut plant isn’t a flower. But this is Virginia, and we do like our peanuts!

Customer: “I mean, this is not a plant!”

Me: “It’s a card with a picture of a plant on it.”

Customer: “A card? Well, you shouldn’t say it’s a plant then. It’s misleading.”

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