Planning To Walk A Mile In Another Man’s Shoes, Part 2

| IN, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(I work in the shoe department of a retail chain. I notice two customers walking through the aisles; both are wearing extremely shabby shoes.)

Me: “Hey guys, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Nah, we’re just looking.”

(I walk away. Moments later, I see both guys heading towards the front door. This time, one is wearing a pair of sparkling white, brand new shoes. Knowing exactly where those shoes are in the department, I find a box containing the customer’s dirty sneakers. I grab the box and chase them down as they’re walking out to the parking lot.)

Me: “Hey guys, did you forget something?”

Customer: “Um… no? What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, if you’re going to steal shoes, don’t you at least want to keep your old ones?”

(I open the box to show him.)

Customer: “Oh, steal? No, I was just going to pay for them.”

Me: “I get it. You thought the cash registers were outside? That’s a common mistake! I’ll escort you to a check-out line.”

(I’ll give the customer credit; he did pay for the shoes. He probably didn’t enjoy them as much, since he didn’t get them for free.)

Related:
Planning To Walk A Mile In Another Man’s Shoes

Fabricate An Excuse Not To

| Lansdale, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A customer comes into the fabric store where I work. She is holding a scrap of plain black fabric, about the size of a postage stamp.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I need help. I purchased a few yards of this fabric the other day, and I need more of it.”

Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have the serial number?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Uh, do you know what the fabric was called? Or where you found it?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “So, you want me to look through every black fabric in the entire store until I find one that looks similar?”

Customer: “Could you?”

Purple People Displeaser

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(I work in the customer service department for an adult goods store. I receive a phone call.)

Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [name] at [adult store]; how can I help?”

Customer: “I’m not happy with my order; it’s the wrong colour! I want an apology!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir; if you give me the order number I’ll investigate.”

(The customer gives me his order number, and we verify the security details.)

Me: “Okay, so which item was incorrect, please?”

Customer: “It was the Purple [Name]!”

Me: “I see, I’m very sorry to hear that. What colour did you receive?”

Customer: “Purple! I don’t like purple!”

Me: “So, you ordered an item called the Purple [Name], but you didn’t want it in purple? I’m afraid it only comes in purple, but we’d be happy to refund you.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough! How was I supposed to know it was purple?! I don’t like purple things!”

Me: “Okay, did you purchase this through our website?”

Customer: “Yes, I was looking at the pictures and this one looked good, so I added it to my basket!”

Me: “So, you saw that the item was purple in the picture. You saw it had purple in the name, and then you added it to your basket, and confirmed this when you selected your payment method; is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes! But it didn’t send me a message to say it was purple! Your company is terrible!”