I’m talking with a customer who has made an online order with us. This order is delivered in three parcels, but they are missing one of the articles/parcels.

Me: “All right, could you tell me which article you are missing?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s a handbag.”

I checked the order, and guess what? The customer had only handbags. Close to ten of them. They didn’t know which brand or price.

We did figure it out, but still, please be prepared with needed information when calling customer service for help.

I work in a team store for a major university. This is THE official store for apparel and everything related to the school. Of course, other big box retailers in town carry much of the same stuff, which annoys us because it isn’t business coming to our store, but what are you going to do about it?

One day, an older guy comes in with a jacket — an expensive one.

Customer: “I bought this jacket here and I want to return it.”

That’s all well and good; it still has the tags on it.

Me: “Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t.”

That’s not a big deal really; we can still work something out. I go to look at the tag to scan it and see what the system says. I don’t get as far as scanning it because the tag that is on this jacket is NOT one of ours. It is for one of the big box retailers in town, and the tag still has the name of that store on it.

Me: “This tag is from [Retailer]. I can’t take this jacket or give you a refund because you didn’t buy it from us.”

Customer: “What?! That’s ridiculous! I’m going to have you fired! In fact, I’m reporting you to the cops and the Better Business Bureau!”

He just kept yelling at me and threatening me. Eventually, he stormed out.

I still think about that very obvious attempt at getting extra money out of something.

I am working in Guest Services one day, and a lady comes up with a stand mixer.

Guest: “I was charged the wrong price for this!”

This usually comes down to a couple of factors. It could be an online-only item that was returned in-store, which has a 33% discount in order to clear it off the shelves faster. It could be an opened return that was inspected and in proper working order, also usually discounted at a similar rate for the same reason. Most often, however, the reason usually boils down to a clearance tag being placed on the wrong item, in which case, we might offer to grab the actual clearance item if we still have any in stock, or, with Team Lead approval, we might “make it right” for the guest.

This time, however, is not one of those times. She comes up with a very top-of-the-line stand mixer, worth well over $300, and I scan it with my device to confirm that it is, in fact, ringing up for the full retail value.

Customer: “But what about this price tag?”

The guest pointed to the “clearance” tag on the item, corners peeling away as if it had been removed from something and affixed onto the mixer in a hurry, reading, “Was: $7.99 Now $2.40”. I checked the item number on the tag to confirm what I had suspected; the clearance tag was for a pair of socks.

The discount was not honored, and she left the store without the mixer.

I sell safety supplies. A customer called in asking for fall protection equipment for confined space rescue (think manholes). After quoting him about $150 for the least expensive solution for compliance, he told me:

Customer: “Nah, that’s too much for a [Mexican slur]. I’ll just give him some rope.”

Nice to know how little this “safety manager” valued his employees’ lives!

I offered to let a customer look at our company website on a staff computer (which was password-protected for anything but browsing our site).

Customer: “That would be a terrible idea! I know how to hack the computer and make it sell me anything in the store for any price I want!”

When I wasn’t instantly impressed, she continued.

Customer: “I hacked the FBI and the CIA networks a few years back to change federal records to show that my father wasn’t dead, just deported!”

I was speechless.