The job that I work for is more mobile than anything, but sometimes we get to stop and rest at the store’s physical address, and customers like to meet us there. However, the address is a little obscure and some people have trouble finding it.

Caller: “What’s your address? I need to come pick up [small item].”

I give her the address and explain how to get there.

Me: “Do you know where [Street #1] is?”

Caller: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Great! Our street is right off of it, between the 700s and 800s.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll see you soon!”

I think that’s the end of it until she calls back.

Caller: “I’m on [Street #1] but I can’t find where to turn!”

Me: “It’s between the 700s and 800s.”

Caller: “Well, I’m at the 300s and I don’t see it anywhere!”

I tried to tell her to, you know, drive a little further, but she didn’t listen, turned down a random road onto yet another random road (how hard is it to just go straight?), called back in a panic, didn’t listen to instructions AGAIN, and never showed up.

Some people just can’t be helped.

A customer calls me up and begins shouting down the phone.

Customer: “I bought a kettle from your store and it’s missing the base!”

Me: “I can help you with that.”

Customer: “How are you going to help me? I’m not coming back to the store!”

Me: “Just give me a second to—”

Customer: “I want a full refund.”

Me: “Please, just open the top of the kettle.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Is the base inside the kettle?”

The customer hung up.

This actually happened a lot! I loved their reactions. The [Store] smart price kettle never fails to disappoint.

A customer wants to get two sets of candles with one 40% coupon. My store’s policy is that each customer can only use one coupon, though I seem to be the only one who cares about it.

Me: “I can ring you up, but this coupon will only go off one candle set.”

Customer: “What? Can’t you just ring them up separately? That way, I can use it again!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s against our rules. You’re only supposed to use this once.”

Customer: “Last time, you let me do it! They did it at [Other Location]!”

Me: “Yes, but—”

Customer: “And you should all be the same!”

Me: “Well… we’re not.”

Customer: “YOU’RE RUDE!”

She continues to squawk and screech for a manager, saying she’s gotten no customer service, she’s never coming here again, blah, blah, blah…

Manager: “Well, she is correct. You’re only able to use each coupon once per day. But I can hold onto the other candle set for you so you can use it tomorrow.”

I try to apologize, as this is the first time a stranger has yelled at me and I am frazzled, but the customer only glares at me in return.

Customer: “Well, you’d better have that tomorrow, because I will be back!”

She never came back. Good riddance.

Related:
The Couponator 31: Saved By The Next Generation
The Couponator 30: Managerial Override
The Couponator 29: A Cents-less Tragedy
The Couponator 28: Panic Attack!
The Couponator 27: Red Friday

I’m working away at a busy service desk serving a line of customers. The phone is ringing, the register keeps getting stuck, it’s mayhem. Just as my anxiety is at its peak, I look over at a customer who’s appeared to my left, holding a vacuum cleaner above her head.

Customer: “Vultures, vultures!”

Me: “Ex… Excuse me?”

Customer: *Louder now* “VULTURES!”

Me: “I don’t understand, can you—”

Customer: “VULTURESSSSSSSSSS!”

Me: “…”

The customer then gave me a foul look and stormed away. It was only about twelve hours later in the shower that I realised she was actually saying, “Voltage,” which makes a lot more sense.

Me: “Your total comes to £33.21.”

Customer: “I only have £20.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Can I still have it?”

Me: “No.”