Bring (From) Home The Bacon

| MI, USA | Right | July 28, 2014

(I’m chatting with a customer as her husband tries on some jeans.)

Me: “Oh, wow, what is that amazing smell?”

Customer: “I just baked a bunch of bacon cookies before we came here.”

Me: “Those sound so good. Oh, look, here he comes. Do they fit okay?”

(Her husband was really picky about the jeans, but after about an hour I found a few pairs they both liked.)

Customer: “How long are you working today?”

Me: “My shift’s up, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”

(The next day…)

Customer: “Hi, remember me?”

Me: “Sure do. Was everything okay with the jeans?”

Customer: “They’re awesome. I just wanted to give you these.”

(She hands me a gallon zip lock bag crammed full of bacon cookies. I’m speechless.)

Customer: “Thank you so much for all your help yesterday.”

(They were the best cookies ever. Thank you, wherever you are!)

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Cross Them Off Your Shopping List

| Hayward, CA, USA | Right | July 26, 2014

(My partner and I have a stall in a vintage clothing collective. On the day in question, I am working the counter when a woman comes in wanting to sell some clothes.)

Customer: “I want to sell these.”

Me: “Okay, let me see what you’ve got.”

(As I am looking over the clothes, which are mostly from chain stores in the past 10 years, she notices I am wearing a vintage pewter cross.)

Customer: “Hey! Why are you wearing that cross?!”

Me: “Um, I like it?”

Customer: “Hah! Just as I thought! You’re a disgrace! Wearing a cross as a piece of jewelry!”

Partner: *coming out of the back room* “Technically, it IS a piece of jewelry! And she has every right to wear it.”

Customer: “Hah! I seriously doubt that! So tell me, are you a Christian?”

Me: “If you’re asking that question, I’m probably not what YOU would consider a Christian.”

Customer: “I thought as much! You take that cross off right now, you little heathen!”

Partner: *becoming very irritated* “Actually, ma’am, we have both attended many churches, including Methodist, Episcopal, and Old Catholic.”

Me: “I’m currently Religious Scientist.”

Customer: “I thought as much! Heathens! You aren’t entitled to wear that cross!”

Me: “I’m as much entitled as you, Ma’am.”

Partner: “So, if you’re not buying anything, please leave the store and stop harassing us.”

Customer: “I’m not buying, I’m selling!”

Partner: “Oh, no, you’re not.”

Me: “You don’t have any REAL vintage, anyway.”

Customer: “Well, I never! You girls don’t know how to run a business! I wouldn’t want to sell to a couple of heathens, anyway!”

(She gathered up her clothes and exited the store in a huff. Thankfully, she never entered our heathen store again.)

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An Alarming Lack Of Responsibility

| SC, USA | Right | July 25, 2014

(My coworker and I are closing up the store. The store is closed the next day, so we were admittedly a little eager to get home to start relaxing. I accidentally leave the front door unlocked in my rush to get home. We have several signs saying we are closed on Sunday. Apparently at around noon on Sunday, a customer gets into the store, starts browsing, and ends up setting the alarms off and running out. A few days later, the same coworker and I are working when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Hello! Do you need help finding anything today?”

Customer: “Not really, but I was the one who set off those alarms and never got to get the treats I came in for!”

Me: “Well, we were closed, sir.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?!”

Me: “Sir, did you not notice the signs on the door, the hours posted, the fact that the lights were off, and that the store was completely empty?”

Customer: “No! It shouldn’t be my responsibility to keep track of your hours! It’s your responsibility to tell me when you’re open or not!”

Coworker: “Sir, that’s what the signs are for. We can’t be here all the time to let people know we’re open.”

Customer: “Well, you should be!”

Cheering Up And Dumbing Down

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Working | July 23, 2014

(I work with a woman whose first language isn’t English. She speaks with a strong accent and has good skills but doesn’t realise that customers don’t always get the grasp of what she is saying. I often find myself butting in to translate for customers. Another staff member has let me know that it’s upsetting her because she thinks I think she is stupid. She definitely isn’t. After one such incident, she’s walked off and I can see she is upset so follow her to explain.)

Me: “[Coworker], I am sorry if I upset you by butting in on your customer.”

Coworker: “It’s okay.”

Me: “No, I realise I upset you by doing it and need to explain. I know you are very smart and while I understand what you have said perfectly, sometimes the customers don’t.”

Coworker: “Huh?”

Me: “Yes, You explain things to them like they are intelligent adults, but need to realise that most of them are actually dumb. You often can’t work out how to dumb it down. I speak perfect dumb which is why I butt in.”

(My coworker burst out laughing and hugged me.)

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Not Cut Out For This Job

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | July 23, 2014

(It’s almost the end of a very long shift at the sample table and I’m exhausted. I guess I’ve just started to shut down, because I’m quiet and sort of zoned, but when I see a customer approaching I start back up.)

Me: “Hi, would you like to try any samples today?”

Customer: *leaps about a foot into the air* “I thought you were one of those cardboard people!”

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