(I’m talking to two young customers about their stuffed animals with their aunt waiting behind them.)
Me: “So, what are you going to name your bears?”
Girl 1: *shrug*
Girl 2: “I don’t know yet.”
Me: “Oh, well that’s okay.”
Girl 1: *very serious* “You know, my sister’s last name is Ross, but that’s not my last name. Do you know why?”
Me: “Uh…well, um. I’m not sure?”
(The aunt rushes over.)
Aunt: “Oh, sweetie! You should ask your mom that!”
Girl 1: “Oh…okay.” *walks away forlorn*
Me: “Your total is $152.37.”
(Customer begins to write out a deposit slip from the back of her chequebook.)
Me: “That’s a deposit slip, not a cheque.”
Customer: “Oh, so I can’t pay you with this?” *confused look*
Customer: “Oh, well take it out of this then.” *hands me a roll of cash* “But don’t take more that $75 out of there.”
Me: *takes $75 out of roll* “And how would you like to pay for the rest of this?”
Customer: “Umm…” *confused look* “I have to pay more?”
This Is Why We’re In A Recession
Customer: "Excuse me…how much is this?"
Customer: "But the sign says it’s $19.99! Ha! So you have to give it to me for that!”
Me: "Ma’am, the sign says $19.99 and up."
Customer: "But it’s the law!”
Me: "Ma’am, I assure you, it is $24.99."
Customer: "Well, I’m a lawyer, and it’s the law!"
Me: "You’re not a lawyer, are you?"
Customer: "No. How did you know that?"
Me: "There is no such law."
Customer: “You’re too smart. I just thought I’d try to scare you into changing the price."
Me: “Would you like a free year of anti-virus for this computer?”
Customer: “No, that is too expensive! In my country, we can get it for about $16 USD!”
Me: “Well, in this country you get it for free when you buy a computer.”
Customer: “No, it’s too expensive. You give me a deal?”
Me: “I can charge you $16 US Dollars for the anti-virus.”
Customer: “Okay! You see? You gave me a deal.”
Me: “Thanks for coming in! Anything I can help you find today?”
Customer: “I need the internet.”
Me: “Okay. You need to get connected to the internet at your house?”
Customer: “No! I need the internet, idiot. Don’t you guys sell them here with lots of gigglebites and dial-up modems and the like?”
Me: “You need a computer tower then? We have plenty of those.”
Customer: “No! I need the internet! My friend has an internet and its fast and has 10 gigglebites.”
Me: “Okay, I will do everything I can to help you. I would also recommend you grab a copy of one of our guides that should be a great help.”
(I show him a copy of Computers for Dummies.)
Customer: “Does it come with the internet?”