No Common Scents

| North Riverside, IL, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body

(I work at a store that specializes in body-care; lotions, perfumes, shower gel, all that good smelling stuff. I’m at the register, and three customers come up to check out.)

Me: “Hi ladies, did you find everything you were looking for today?”

(All three of them ignore me for the most part, save for some brief nods. Eventually, as I’m ringing up their purchase, they start talking amongst themselves about their purchases.)

Customer #1: “What fragrance is this?”

Customer #2: “It’s Pink Chiggon; it says right on the label!”

Customer #1: “Chiggon? I can’t read that!”

Customer #2: “It’s right there on the label, girl!”

Customer #3: “It’s not Chiggon, it’s CHITTOF.”

Customer #1: “Chittof?”

Customer #3: “Yea!”

(All this time, I’ve been ringing them up in silence and ever-growing amusement. Finally, I decide to pipe up.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s Pink Chiffon.”

All Three: “That’s what I said!”

Adam And Leave

| GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m escorting a young couple around the store, and helping them register for their upcoming wedding. I hear my manager announce a Code Adam—a missing child security protocol in the United States—for a small boy over the P.A. system. I apologize to the couple, and start to walk to my assigned section when the man speaks up.)

Man: “Excuse me! We’re not done registering yet!”

Me: “I am so sorry, but as you heard, there is a Code Adam in place right now. I need to go help find the child. Hopefully we’ll find him quickly, and once we do, I’ll come back to you and help you finish your registry.”

Woman: “There are plenty of you working here; your coworkers can handle it. Besides, it is the fault of the parents for not paying attention to their little brats. Now, does this particular set come in stainless?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is a little kid missing right now. I cannot just assume that he’s okay. You can still take a look around and see if there is anything else you like while we’re searching. Like I said before, I will come back to you all once the child is found.”

Man: “Look b****, you obviously don’t get it. We’re ready to drop thousands of dollars with you guys for our wedding, as well as our new home. The least you can do is be more helpful and answer our questions. Otherwise, we’ll just go elsewhere.”

Me: “Sir, you are free to take your business anywhere you’d like.”

(I reach over and take the scan gun from the woman’s hand.)

Me: “And you’re right, I should be more helpful. I’m going to go help the parents of the missing kid, who are probably in hysterics right now.”

(I turn around and rush to my assigned area to begin searching for the missing boy. Luckily, I quickly find him building a pillow fort in our back stock room. The parents thanked me profusely, and I even received recognition from corporate!)

Common Sense Playing Truant

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, School, Top

(I am a junior in college. I’m working retail over Christmas break. It’s early afternoon on a weekday.)

Customer: *huffs up to me* “They really shouldn’t let you work at this hour. Getting an education is more important than some low-rent job.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you talking about?”

Customer: “You’re, what, 15 years old? They shouldn’t let kids your age work at all, but especially not during the school day.”

Me: “Oh, sorry for the confusion, ma’am. I’m actually 21, and a junior at [university about 300 miles away]. We have a very long holiday break, so I’ve been off classes for a few weeks now.”

Customer: “That’s not possible. I need to speak with your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I know I look somewhat young, but I really don’t think it’s necessary to speak to my manager. I’m really, truly a college student on winter break.”

Customer: “I’ll find your manager myself!”

(The customer storms off. A few minutes later, I hear my manager over my headset.)

Manager: “[My name], any chance you have your student ID on you?”

Me: “I think so… want me to bring it up front if I have it?”

Manager: “If you could.”

(I go get my student ID, and bring it to the front of the store.)

Me: *to customer* “Here’s my student ID, ma’am.”

Customer: “You must be one of those high school students who takes college classes, too. It’s not possible for you to as old as you say you are. This store should be fined for letting you work during the school day.”

Me: “Ma’am, my university is hundreds of miles away. You think I commute several hours back and forth every day to take advanced classes?”

(My manager tells me to go back to work, and I see the customer huff out of the store a few minutes later. A few more minutes pass.)

Customer: “There she is, officer; arrest her for truancy.”

Me: “Oh. My. God. You got mall security over this?”

Mall Security: “If you let me see your driver’s license, I’ll kick her out of the mall for the day, and ban her from your store.”

Me: “Fair enough…”

(She was not invited back to our store.)