Putting The Cuss Into Repercussions

| Birmingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

(I overhear an employee and an older customer, who is accompanied by her grandson. She is trying to return an expensive toy.)

Employee: “I can offer you a replacement or gift voucher, but without the receipt I can’t give you a cash refund.”

Customer: “No, you’ll give me a refund in cash.”

Employee: “I can’t do that without the receipt. If the toy is faulty I can replace it for you, or you can choose something else.”

Customer: “No, you’ll give me £120 in cash, out of the till. End of.”

Grandson: “Nana, you’re not allowed to say ‘end of’ to people.”

Customer: “Shush, I’ll say what I like. I’m allowed to say what I like. They just don’t want to give me £120 out of the f****** till.”

Grandson: “You’re not allowed to say the f-word, Nana!”

Customer: “Shut up.”

Employee: “I’m really sorry, but without your receipt I can’t do a cash refund. If you come back with your receipt we’ll be able to give you a refund.”

Customer: “F*** off!”

Grandson: *to employee* “I’m sorry my nana said that. She doesn’t know you’re not allowed to say the f-word.”

Gramps Grumps

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Old man: “MEAN!”

Me: “Oh no, that’s no good.”

Old man: “Yeah, it scares off all the pretty ladies.”

Me: “Well, you don’t want to scare them off; that’s no good.”

Old man: “I’m 80; I can’t do anything else with them. I might as well scare them away; makes it easier for me that way!”

Terrified Of Baggage

| Pueblo, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I need help in choosing a vacuum cleaner.”

Me: “Okay, sure! Let me start by getting an idea of what kind of area you want it for. Do you have hardwood floors, carpets, or both? And do you have pets?”

Customer: “Well. I’ve already got one picked out, actually. I just have a question about it.”

(The customer leads me over to one of the floor models, a bag-less cyclone vacuum.)

Customer: “Does this vacuum need bags?”

Me: “Nope. It’s a bag-less cyclonic, meaning it collects what the vacuum sucks up into a reusable plastic bin.”

Customer: “Yes, but does it need bags?”

Me: “No, it doesn’t.”

Customer: “But can it take bags?”

Me: “No. It’s a bag-less. But if you want one with bags, this one over here can—”

Customer: “Look, all I want to know is if I need to buy bags for it or not! I don’t want to get this stupid thing home and realize it needs something else! Do I, or do I not, need to buy bags?”

Me: “Ma’am, this vacuum is a bag-less vacuum. It does not take bags, and couldn’t even if you wanted it to.”

Customer: “Well, can you show me where they are, at least?”

Me: “Where what are?”

(The customer points to the same bag-less cyclonic.)

Customer: “The bags for this vacuum.”

Me: *facepalm*