A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3

| Ocean, NJ, USA | Right | February 13, 2014

(It’s Friday the 13th. I’m ringing up some college-age students.)

Me: “Your total is $6.66.”

Customer: “Oh, no! And it’s Friday the 13th!”

Me: “No, no. It’s okay! You’re getting rid of the six sixty-six, not accepting it. It’d only be bad luck if you were getting it as change.”

Customer: *looking very relieved* “Okay… That sounds right. But what about you?”

Me: “I’ll be okay. It sounds strange, but 13 is actually a lucky number for me.”

(I ring her up and move on to her friend. By sheer chance, the total is $13.34, and I immediately see where this is going when she hands me a $20 bill.)

Me: “Uh. Your change is… $6.66.”

(She looked very uncomfortable as she took her change, and her friends teased her all the way out the door.)

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

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In Need Of Some Self-Consolation

| MI, USA | Right | February 13, 2014

(I own a hobby game and used video game store wherein discussion of games, systems, merits, and issues is common. A pair of guys, each with their girlfriends, are in. The girls aren’t gamers but are having fun. The guys are acting like they know what they’re talking about but clearly don’t. I tolerate it for a bit before one of them is an a** toward the young woman he’s with.)

Woman: *looking at display boxes* “Which one’s better? Xbox or Playstation?”

Guy: *over-dramatically, condescendingly, with zero sarcasm* “WELL! THE PLAYSTATION OBVIOUSLY!”

Me: *less than thrilled with the condescending tone toward a legitimate question from a non-gamer* “Well, each of them have their merits.”

Guy: “Yeah, well, the Playstation is the best one! It kicks the XBox’s a**!”

Me: “It’s technically the more powerful, but people are pretty happy with the XBox’s network, especially after the Playstation network was hacked.”

Guy: “Oh yeah? Well, nobody can hack me! Someone hacks me, know what I’d do to them?”

Me: “No, they’d didn’t hack the users. They got into the network, credit cards, and accounts. Stuff like that.”

Guy: “No. You know what I’d do to them? I’d hack them back! I’d send them a Trojan horse virus!”

Me: “O…kay?”

Guy: “Yeah, I’d send them a Trojan horse virus that’ll set their computer on fire!”

Me: “O…kay?”

Guy: “Yeah. I got these two Trojan horse viruses, see. One that’ll totally wipe them out and if that doesn’t work, the other one will set their computer on fire! You know something? That virus is illegal in all 50 states except one. Michigan. And you know who wrote it? I did.”

Me: “O…kay. Right then.” *goes back to working counter*

Guy: *a little while later* “You know what I hate? People who act like they’re better than you. Like they know more than they think you do. I know stuff. I got a nursing degree from Washington State Community College!”

Me: “Yup. Sure thing…”

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Double Blush

| AZ, USA | Right | February 13, 2014

(I’m working near the fitting rooms in a department store one afternoon when an older lady approaches me.)

Older Lady: “Hello, dear!”

Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Older Lady: “I was just wondering, dear: do you have naturally rosy cheeks?”

Me: “Oh! Yes, I do.”

Older Lady: “Oh, you’re so lucky! That means you don’t have to wear blush.”

Me: “Aww, thank you!”

(With a smile on her face, the older lady leaves. I wish her a nice day as she goes. Just a few seconds later, a completely different older lady appears out from between the clothes racks. She looks rather excited.)

Older Lady #2: “Oh, hello there, sweetie! I was just wondering: do you have naturally rosy cheeks?”

Me: “Um… Yes? Yes, I do.”

Older Lady #2: “Oh, you’re so lucky! That means you don’t have to wear blush!”

Me: “…”

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Coated In Confusion

| TX, USA | Right | February 12, 2014

(At the department store where I work we have call boxes where customers can request assistance. When the button is pressed, the name of the department where the customer needs help is paged over the PA system.)

Customer: *to coworker* “Excuse me. My wife was just paged to swimwear. What does that mean? Where is that?”

Coworker: *confused* “Um, we don’t have any swimwear right now. The section where it would be has coats right now.”

Customer: “But she was paged to swimwear!”

(My coworker looks at me for help. I’m several feet away and haven’t really been paying attention to the conversation, so I think he is just trying to find swimwear.)

Me: “All our swimwear is on clearance now since we have all our coats in, but we will probably get some in a few weeks.”

Customer: “But they paged my wife to swimwear!”

Me: “Yeah that’s where the coats are—”

Coworker: “What’s your wife’s name?”

Customer: “Coats?”

Coworker: “No, what’s your wife’s name?”

Customer: “Coats!”

(Suddenly something dawns on me.)

Me: “Wait, did the page say, ‘Misses’ Coats and Swimwear?'”

Customer: “Yeah! Mrs. Coates in swimwear!”

Me: “Oh, that’s just the call box. Someone needed help in that section so it announced it over the PA.”

Customer: “Oh…” *walks away looking confused*

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Has No Style With An Alternative Lifestyle

| IL, USA | Friendly | February 12, 2014

(My kids and I may be a bit unusual in that so-called alternative lifestyles have never phased us. People are just people. We are shopping in our local store when some college boys enter. They are obviously taking part in some fraternity prank. All are in extremely dressy gowns complete with makeup, jewelry, stockings, and purses. After failing to get a reaction from my kids and me, they start following us through the store getting more and more outrageous. One practically threw his purse in front of my cart. I stop and wait for him to retrieve it, giving him a little smile.)

College Boy: “Well, s***! What do I have to do? Flash you?”

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