We sell farm and ranch equipment, as well as western wear. We have pretty good clearance in our clothing department most of the time. We’re running some boots on clearance, and all the boots that are on clearance are marked. A lady comes up to buy some boots.

Customer: “No, that’s not right. Those are on clearance.”

Me: “Unfortunately, they aren’t on clearance, because they would have a red sticker.”

Customer: “Well, they must have missed them. That whole aisle was marked on clearance.”

Me: “Let me check.”

I call on the radio, and a coworker in the clothing department tells me that they are not marked on clearance.

Customer: “Give me your manager. That whole aisle is on clearance!”

The manager came up and told the customer that those boots were not on clearance. The customer didn’t believe her, either, and left without the boots. I went to check and wouldn’t you know it? The whole aisle was NOT marked, only certain boots, and it was pretty obvious which ones were on clearance.

I’m a shift lead at a local discount retailer, getting ready to close for the night.

I get a call to cash for a void. As I’m arriving, my cashier indicates her suspicion that the customer has filled her bag with unpaid merchandise, while the customer is suspiciously closing her bulging bag.

The customer begins telling me what items she wants removed from her transaction, my cashier politely asks her if there’s anything else in her bag she wants to pay for. The customer puts an abashed look on her face and sheepishly pulls out a tube of toothpaste.

Me: “As you’ve already admitted to attempting to steal this, I’m going to have to ask to check your bag for other merchandise.”

Shoplifter: “Rude!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but again, you’ve already admitted to attempting to steal someth—”

Shoplifter: *Cutting me off* “IT’S JUST TOOTHPASTE!”

Me: “It’s still theft.”

Shoplifter: “IT’S JUST TOOTHPASTE!”

I come around the counter to block the door. The shoplifter comes closer but doesn’t try leaving yet.

Me: “It’s still theft. I’m going to need to check your bag for our own peace of mind that nothing else is being stolen. If everything is on the up and up, this should be no problem.”

The shoplifter partially opens her bag to sneak another item out in an attempt to satisfy me, but I can see multiple products peeking out.

Me: “Nuh-uh, no, these are all ours.”

I proceed to pull all the hidden, unpaid items from the bag, leaving a few items of trash at the bottom.

Me: “You are now banned. Please leave and don’t come back.”

Shoplifter: “Good! I’m never coming back!”

Me: “Good thing, ‘cause next time I see you here, you’ll be charged with trespassing!” *Turning to the next customer* “Hi, how can I help you?”

Just another day at the office.

The job that I work for is more mobile than anything, but sometimes we get to stop and rest at the store’s physical address, and customers like to meet us there. However, the address is a little obscure and some people have trouble finding it.

Caller: “What’s your address? I need to come pick up [small item].”

I give her the address and explain how to get there.

Me: “Do you know where [Street #1] is?”

Caller: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Great! Our street is right off of it, between the 700s and 800s.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll see you soon!”

I think that’s the end of it until she calls back.

Caller: “I’m on [Street #1] but I can’t find where to turn!”

Me: “It’s between the 700s and 800s.”

Caller: “Well, I’m at the 300s and I don’t see it anywhere!”

I tried to tell her to, you know, drive a little further, but she didn’t listen, turned down a random road onto yet another random road (how hard is it to just go straight?), called back in a panic, didn’t listen to instructions AGAIN, and never showed up.

Some people just can’t be helped.

A customer calls me up and begins shouting down the phone.

Customer: “I bought a kettle from your store and it’s missing the base!”

Me: “I can help you with that.”

Customer: “How are you going to help me? I’m not coming back to the store!”

Me: “Just give me a second to—”

Customer: “I want a full refund.”

Me: “Please, just open the top of the kettle.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Is the base inside the kettle?”

The customer hung up.

This actually happened a lot! I loved their reactions. The [Store] smart price kettle never fails to disappoint.

A customer wants to get two sets of candles with one 40% coupon. My store’s policy is that each customer can only use one coupon, though I seem to be the only one who cares about it.

Me: “I can ring you up, but this coupon will only go off one candle set.”

Customer: “What? Can’t you just ring them up separately? That way, I can use it again!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s against our rules. You’re only supposed to use this once.”

Customer: “Last time, you let me do it! They did it at [Other Location]!”

Me: “Yes, but—”

Customer: “And you should all be the same!”

Me: “Well… we’re not.”

Customer: “YOU’RE RUDE!”

She continues to squawk and screech for a manager, saying she’s gotten no customer service, she’s never coming here again, blah, blah, blah…

Manager: “Well, she is correct. You’re only able to use each coupon once per day. But I can hold onto the other candle set for you so you can use it tomorrow.”

I try to apologize, as this is the first time a stranger has yelled at me and I am frazzled, but the customer only glares at me in return.

Customer: “Well, you’d better have that tomorrow, because I will be back!”

She never came back. Good riddance.

Related:
The Couponator 31: Saved By The Next Generation
The Couponator 30: Managerial Override
The Couponator 29: A Cents-less Tragedy
The Couponator 28: Panic Attack!
The Couponator 27: Red Friday