Please Do Not Lather Up The Employees, Part 2

| CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to buy these, please.”

(The customer is an older gentleman. He has five bottles of lotion.)

Me: “Okay, let me ring you up.”

Customer: *smiles* “One for each mistress.”

Me: *laughing nervously* “Awesome.”

(The customer winks and licks his lips.)

Customer: “I can grab a sixth, if you like.”

Please Do Not Lather UpThe Employees
Please Do Not Creep Out The Employees
Please Do Not Titillate The Employees
Please Do Not Pet The Employees

Cute But Not Astute

| Brandon, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “How are you guys doing today?”

Customer: “Do I get a discount?”

Me: “For what? Do you have a coupon or anything?”

Customer: “No. I’m just really cute.”

Now That Is A Wonder Bra

, | Brighton, UK | Uncategorized

(The ‘invisible bras’ we advertise talk about the see-through straps.)

Customer: “I thought this was an invisible bra, but I can see it!”

(She is pointing angrily at the black bra under her thin white top.)

Me: *playing along* “No, miss. The invisible bras were the ones next to those ones. I don’t know how you didn’t see them.”

Attack Of The O’Hooligans

, | Foley, AL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, are you the manager?

Me: “Yes. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to complain about your employee in the jewelry department. She’s a hooligan!”

Me: “Well, what did she do?”

Customer: “Her hair is green!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just for St. Patrick’s Day.”

Customer: “I don’t care! It’s unprofessional and rebellious! It probably means she’s in a gang!”

Me: “Very well. I’ll talk with her.”

(The associate and I have a good laugh over it. She comes in the next day with her ordinary brown hair. The customer happens to come in, too.)

Customer: “Oh, your hair is brown! I’m glad I was able to help you get reformed from your rebellious ways!”

One Baby Or Less Aisle

| Round Rock, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(I am checking out a mother with an infant son.)

Mother: “I have a question. Will you guys take cute as payment?”

(My manager is standing behind me.)

Manager: “We’ll take him.”

Page 356/546First...354355356357358...Last