Declawing The Villains

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

(A customer and her five-year-old son enter the store.)

Me: “Hi, is there anything you’re looking for today?”

Little Boy: “I know what that means!”

Me: “…what, what means?”

Little Boy: “That!”

(The boy points at the pins on my lanyard.)

Little Boy: “That’s Dr Claw’s sign! You like Inspector Gadget!”

Me: “You are the first person to know that.”

Little Boy: “Claw is a silly name. If Dr Claw ever bothers you, I’ll punch him.”

Me: “Thanks, kid. That’s sweet.”

Jellyfishing For Giggles

| USA | Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work third shift as a cashier in a major retail chain. To keep everything running smoothly, all third shift cashiers are trained for running the service desk and answering the phone. It is spring break and there has been an increase of prank phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [large retail store]; how may I assist you?”

Caller: *giggling and unintelligible gibberish*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”

Me: *deadpan voice* “No, this is Patrick.”

Caller: *fits of laughter* “Thank you! You made my night!”

New Degrees Of Stupidity

| WA, USA | Canada, Math & Science

(I work in a clothing store at an outlet mall where we get a lot of Canadian customers. It was particularly cold on the day this occurred. Two teenage girls walk into my store.)

Me: “Hey, how are you girls doing this morning? Are you staying warm?”

Girl #1: “We’re trying!”

Me: “When I came into the store from my car this morning, it was 18 degrees! That’s FREEZING!”

Girl #1: “Yeah it is… Wait, how did you know we were from Canada?”

Me: “…I didn’t…”

Girl #1: “But how did you know we needed Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?”

Me: “Uh… that was Fahrenheit.”

Girl #2: *laughs at her friend* “Wow! Now this girl probably thinks we’re stupid! Good job!”