Jeepers Creepers

| Retail | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(A customer approaches my register. I begin her transaction, as well as make small talk.)

Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

Customer: “Do you have prosthetic eyes? My husband makes them and, yours just look so real!”

Me: “No, ma’am. My eyes are real.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yep, my eyes are really real.”

(She turns deep red, but tries to laugh it off. We finish her transaction, and she leaves very quickly.)

Silent Running

| Hampshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(A regular comes in every day for cigarettes. I am always a polite and friendly cashier, who asks how the customers are.)

Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today?”

Customer: “How are you today? How am I today? How am I today? Every day you ask this, and you really don’t care how I am, so in future don’t ask; just give me my cigarettes!”

Me: “Oh, err… okay…”

Customer: “That’s better. You remember that now!”

Me: “I will…”

(From that day on, every day when he comes and buys his cigarettes, everything is done in total silence.)

They Paid The Price

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Money

(I work in the print and copy area of my store. A customer is giving my new coworker a hard time about the cost of copying. I walk over.)

Customer: “Your prices are OUTRAGEOUS; I refuse to pay that much! You’re an idiot! You’re all idiots! You should be doing this for free for me, because of how dumb you all are!”

Me: “What my coworker has explained to you is correct. We price match all of our competitors, and I can guarantee you that we have the cheapest price.”

Customer: “I will NEVER use your services. You are thieves who are trying to rip-off an old woman! I will take my business elsewhere!”

(The customer storms out.)

Coworker: “I bet she’ll be back.”

(A few hours later, the customer returns.)

Customer: *meekly and very politely* “I’d like this done, please.”