The Digit(al) Age

| NJ, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(The customer is attempting to use the touch screen credit card machine, but the attached pen is not working.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, the pen is not working right now. It’s a touch screen, so just use the pad of your finger.”

Customer: “What? What the heck is a ‘patio finger’?”

Me: “Pad. Of. Your. Finger.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought it was some kind of young people slang.”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 13

| CO, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

(An older customer approaches me. I’m in the demographic the ‘Twilight Saga’ is marketed towards.)

Customer: “Have you seen that movie all the girls your age are excited about?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “That big movie, Eclipse I think?”

Me: “Oh, I never got into Twilight.”

Customer: “Good! Read some real books, and hope they get made into movies that are actually good!”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 12
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 10
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Going From Negative To Positive

| Cambridge, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Money, Technology

(A few minutes after opening the doors of the store, a well-groomed older customer enters. He is carrying a remote-controlled car.)

Older Customer: “I want my money back right now! This car doesn’t work; I’ve tried everything. Give me a refund so I can leave this h*** hole.”

Me: “Not a problem at all, sir. Let me take a quick look at it to determine the problem. Do you have your receipt?”

Older Customer: “Who keeps receipts anymore these days? Just give me my money so I can get out of here. I already told you, I tried everything to make this d*** car work. I’m an engineer and you’re just a cashier. I would know better than you!”

Me: “I understand, sir. It’s company policy that all defective items are inspected in front of the customer before a refund or exchange can take place. Furthermore, I can not complete the refund without your receipt.”

Older Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I’m an engineer! I told you it doesn’t work, so it doesn’t f****** work!”

(While he is ranting, I open the back plate and put in some batteries. The car works perfectly.)

Older Customer: “How the h*** did you do that?!”

Me: “I put in brand new batteries, sir. I don’t mean to insult you, but you did put batteries in the car itself, right?”

Older Customer: “Well, that was rude! And yes, I did put batteries in the car.”

Me: “And… did you put batteries in the remote as well?”

Older Customer: “I’ve had about enough of you insulting my intelligence! I’ve been on this planet for 78 God-d*** years; I know how batteries work!”

Me: “Okay, my apologies. Well, it appears that everything here is working as it should, so there is no need to refund or exchange the unit. If you have any further issues, you’re welcome to exchange it within 30 days with the receipt. By the way, you can keep the batteries for your troubles.”

Older Customer: “Well, I should say so! You’re d*** lucky I’m not one of those rude customers that demands refunds over something ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m glad I could resolve the issue for you. Have yourself a nice day.”

(Several hours later, I get a phone call from a sweet-sounding old man.)

Older Customer: “Good afternoon, are you the young lady that helped me with the remote control car earlier today?”

Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

Older Customer: “Well, I just wanted to apologize for my outburst in your store today. I understand you were just trying to do your job.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. I accept your apology.”

(In the background I hear a woman’s voice; she sounds irritated.)

Woman: “Keep going, Ron.”

Older Customer: “Again, I’m very sorry.”

Woman:Say it! You tell her what you did!”

Older Customer: “I don’t want to, and you can’t make me!”

(There’s a loud noise, and some inaudible conversation between the two. Then the woman gets on the phone.)

Woman: “Hi dear. He wants you to know that he’s thankful for the batteries you gave him, and that the car didn’t work the first time because he put the batteries in backwards.”

Me: “Well, thank you for the kind phone call and the honesty. You two have a lovely day.”

(She putters with the phone, trying to find the off button. I hear the old man in the background.)

Older Customer: “At least you didn’t tell her I wasn’t an engineer.”

Related:
Going From Positive To Negative