Playing The Name Game

| Lynnwood, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Uncategorized

(A customer calls in with a question. This is during heavy snow, so traveling to a store is a big deal.)

Customer: “Hi I’m looking for [name of video game], but not [game with very similar name]. I’ve called in everywhere and no one seems to have it.”

Me: “Okay, Let me just look that up for you.”

(I proceed with looking up the game and find out that they stopped making the series and that there wasn’t in fact even a game by the title she wanted.)

Me: “Okay it looks like we have [game with similar name] but they never made [game she wanted].”

Customer: “Oh great! I’ll come right down to pick it up! I can’t believe you have it!”

(The customer hangs up before I can repeat that we didn’t have it and that it doesn’t exist. Later in the day my boss informs me a lady up front wants to talk to me; I dread going to the front to a woman who has driven through to snow to look for a game doesn’t exist.)

Customer: “Hi, [my name]! I just wanted to thank you in person for helping me find [game she wanted]. My son was looking for it everywhere!”

(As she says this, she holds up the game with the similar title.)

Me: “You’re… welcome?”

Son: “Mom! You’ve been calling it the wrong name all day!”

See-Through Excuses

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(A customer comes in with four boxes of our crystal product. They are all broken and foggy.)

Me: “Oh no, what happened to these?”

Customer: “I just tried cleaning them and they all broke!”

Me: “How did you clean these?”

Customer: ” I put them in my dishwasher, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, these are very delicate crystal figurines. They shouldn’t even be put in water.”

Customer: “Oh, please! Like I’m going to bother cleaning them myself!”

Salvation Barmy

| Downingtown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(We take electronics and recycle them for people.)

Me: “Thank you for calling! How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, do you recycle clothes?”

Me: “Clothes? No, we only take electronics. You should try the homeless charity across the street.”

Caller: “I don’t want to give them to homeless people. I just want to recycle them!”

Just Wait Until She Finds The Penny Slots

| Wellington, New Zealand | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “I’ll take a $2 scratch-and-win, please.”

Me: “Awesome. Here you go.”

Customer: “I was wondering how much you have to pay for one with prizes?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I got a $3 one, would it have a chance to win prizes?”

Me: “That one you have has a chance to win prizes, ma’am. They all do.”

Customer: *surprised* “Really?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: *excited* “You learn something new every day!”

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days

| Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [electronics store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was wanting to buy one of those thingies that records stuff on a tape.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. What exactly were you looking to use this for?”

Customer: “Well, I want to record myself singing and send it to my grandkids.”

Me: “Well, it sounds like you’d need a voice recorder for that.”

Customer: “Oh, then I just send them the tape?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, our company discontinued tapes. Almost everything gets recorded onto digital data, like memory cards and such.”

Customer: “What’s a memory card?”

(I provide a lengthy explanation of memory card.)

Customer: “So, then I just mail them the memory card instead of the tape?”

Me: “No, ma’am. You could simply e-mail them the file of the audio clip.”

Customer: “What’s e-mail?”