I work at a place that is mostly known for its pharmacy but also has a decent selection of beauty products alongside regular groceries. I work part-time as a cashier, and I am quite bored one day as I have finished all the chores for the day and am counting the minutes until quitting. We barely have a customer all day.

Finally, this guy comes up buying a few cheap items. The total comes to $10.78.

Customer: “I’m paying in cash.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine.”

I go over to the cash screen and wait for him to dig out his money. This guy looks to be around twenty-six, which is important since my store is usually frequented by seniors getting their prescriptions filled, and I swear some are faster than this dude.

He gets done counting his change and hands me a huge pile of change.

Customer: *Confidently* “That’s seventy-eight cents!”

Me: *Groaning jokingly* “You’re going to make me do math this early in the morning?

He chuckles a bit.

Customer: *Super smug* “Well, you know, math isn’t so hard if you just try. I love math.”

This whole time he has a smug look on his face as if he was used to being the “math geek” in the room or something. I honestly have no idea. I count the change while he speaks. Then, I count it again. Three times.

Me: “Uh, sir, this is sixty-eight cents.”

He sheepishly hands me another dime.

Me: “You know, math isn’t so hard if you just try.”

He got super embarrassed, took his stuff without another word, and left.

A well-dressed lady in her fifties enters our antique shop.

Me: “Hello and welcome. I will have to ask you to wear your mask, please.”

Customer: “Hmph! I don’t believe in those. Haven’t you heard? They put 5G chipsets in the vaccines.”

Me: “Yeah, well… I’m sorry, but we are requested by law to wear masks inside the shop.”

Customer: “The law! Haha! Don’t you know about sub-terrians? They control everything. They eat babies, you know.”

Me: “Yeaaah… well…”

I really don’t know what to say, because she is perfectly calm and polite, so I let her check our items.

Customer: “Do you sell crystals?”

Me: “Sure, we do, right here—”

Customer: “Well, crystals will protect you, but not from aliens. I know. I’ve been abducted you know. I have a chip in my nose. Wanna see?”

Me: “No, thank you. That… must be hard?”

Customer: “I’ve seen things, you know. They hide everything.”

She then proceeded to check all the items and politely leave. Some workdays are amazing.

In around 2011, one of my good friends was getting rid of his piano. It was a full-sized weighted keyboard that he was getting rid of to make room for the MIDI equivalent so he could use it on his computer to compose music.

As I was the only one in our friend group with experience selling things online, I created the post under my own information, and as offers and things came in I shared them with my friend who owned the piano.

It didn’t take long for the scammers to start replying. They came at us with all kinds of flavors of scam. “We’ll money order you the money plus $500 extra for the guy picking it up.” “We’ll send our mover with a check for the amount plus some extra.” “We will trade you for an equivalent in [Random Store] gift cards.”

Of course, each of these replies only ever referred to the piano as “the item” or “the furniture” and never by name, so I could tell someone was just canvasing the website and shooting out these scam messages.

Finally, I had enough and replied to one of the scammers.

Scammer: “Hello, I am interested in your item. Is it still available?”

Me: “Yes, it is available.”

Scammer: “Agreeable. We would like to extend an offer of $500 plus an extra $500 given upon receipt of the item.”

Me: “That is more than double our listing price. How generous of you!”

Scammer: “We would like to meet you soon; please provide a location for pickup. The driver will pay via check to be used at any bank to receive payment.”

Me: “For sure. We can meet at [address for the local police station] any time you want.”

Scammer: “I work late and will meet you at 2300 hours.”

Me: “All right, see you then.”

Obviously, I didn’t go anywhere, having much more fun trying to convince my friend to take the trade offer of a professional soft-serve ice cream machine out of a restaurant that was shut down.

The next day, I got this message.

Scammer: “You f*** f*** guy, you.”

I legitimately didn’t know who this was because they used a different name and totally different contact information.

Me: “Sorry, who is this?”

Scammer: “Who is this? Who you think, you f*** f*** guy, you! F*** your mother, you f*** f*** guy. You think you’re funny?”

Me: “Yes.”

Scammer: “F*** you! You waste time, f*** f*** guy, you f*** guy.”

Me: “Is that the only swear word you know? This is getting kind of boring.”

Scammer: “You owe me money! I meet you, I get money from you.”

I proceeded to tear into this man, more than likely teaching him several new swear words as I told him exactly where he could shove his driver, truck, and checks.

All of the scam contacts stopped — literally all of them.

Without all the scam messages getting pushed through, I noticed that I had missed a legitimate offer and got in contact with the woman that had made it. We closed the deal and sold the piano that day.

We should have gotten the ice cream machine, though. It was such a good deal.

I work in the same store that my mom does. A regular customer of hers came in with his wife on a day when she wasn’t working but I was.

At one point, the regular had the audacity to tell me to come closer and kiss me on the cheek!

Regular: “Give that to your mom.”

When I tell you I washed my face for ten minutes, I mean it. Then, I hung out in the walk-in for a little while.

I work in a very small gift shop in a tourist town. I’ve also lived in the same town for my whole life

A customer comes in and asks me this question while looking at a shop full of books and soap.

Customer: “Is this a restaurant?”

Me: “I could recommend you a restaurant if you want? There are [Place #1] just down the road or [Place #2] over the road that are quite nice.”

Customer: “No, I want to eat here. I came here last year, and this was a restaurant.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this has never been a restaurant. This shop has been here for three years, and before that, it was a toy shop for nearly twenty years. You must be thinking of [Place #2] just down the road.”

Customer: “It was definitely a restaurant last time I came here! You’re not being very helpful!”

Me: “I’m sorry? But I really can’t help you anymore.”