The Race Against Identity Theft

| MI, USA | Top

(I’m ringing up a customer. He hands me a credit card.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Customer #1: “Sure.”

(As he is getting his ID out, the next customer in line, a white soccer mom, speaks up.)

Customer #2: “I don’t believe this s***! I’m going to report you, you racist b****!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer #2: “You heard me. You didn’t ask for the ID of the white lady before him, but a black man has a card and you check his. That’s racist s***! What, you think because he’s black he stole that or something?”

Customer #2, to customer #1: “Why are you so calm? This isn’t the 50’s! You don’t have to put up with this s***. Tell her off!”

Customer #1: “Actually, she asked me because I have ‘See ID’ written on my card.”

Customer #2: “Oh…well. Um…okay.”

You Bite It, You Buy It

, | Clitheroe, England, UK | Uncategorized

(I work in a charity shop selling used items. A customer walks up to me with a pair of gloves.)

Customer: “Are these gloves waterproof?”

Me: “They look it, sir.”

Customer: “I’ll just test them out.”

(The customer then proceeds to bite the gloves, covering them with his spit in the process, while everyone close to him looks on in horror.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ll take these.”

Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence, Part 2

| Harrisburg, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to the register with nothing but a coupon.)

Customer: “Can I use this? It says $15.”

Me: “Yes, that will get you $15 off anything in the store.”

Customer: “Okay. I want to use it.”

Me: “No problem. Just go ahead and shop around for whatever you’d like, and then I’ll apply the coupon when you check out.”

Customer: “It says fifteen dollars. I can get fifteen dollars?”

Me: “This is a coupon, so the fifteen dollars will be deducted from the price of whatever you purchase.”

Customer: “Fifteen dollars?”

Me: “Yes sir, all you have to do is go pick out what you’d like.”

Customer: “I want fifteen dollars.”

Me: “I understand, but to get the fifteen dollars off, you must purchase something here.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Do you have an idea of what you were looking for? I can direct you to the right section.”

Customer: “Fifteen… dollars?”

Me: “Yes. Fifteen dollars.”

(The customer turns around and slowly wanders out of the store.)

Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence

Coupons Are Not The Only Things That Are Expired

| Toledo, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I still use these coupons?”

Me: “You can, if they’re not expired.”

Customer: “So, can I use them?”

Me: “Are they expired?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then no.”

Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 6

, | Romania | Uncategorized

(A customer comes in asking about a monitor. She needs convincing that it is brand new, and that we do not sell second hand.)

Customer: “Where do I adjust the brightness and contrast ?”

Me: “From the menu, like in a TV.”

(I bring up the menu on the screen to show her.)

Customer: “So, is that included in the price?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “The menu.”

Me: “Yes. The menu comes with the price.”

Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 5
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 4
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3

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