Magic Eye Camera

| Boston, MA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I speak with a woman about her lost cell-phone, which she left in the store. She is very worried that her identity will be stolen. I take her information in case the phone shows up. She has come back two nights in a row, looking for her phone.)

Me: “Hi, the phone still hasn’t turned up?”

Customer: “No, I called loss prevention, and he told me he saw some…” *she does air quotes* “‘activity’ on the security video, but no phone being left or picked up. That is just not good enough for me; I need to know what kind of activity he saw.”

Me: “Well, sometimes it is hard to focus on exactly what you want because we are only looking at a recording.”

Customer: “Well, can’t he just move the cameras around and see where I left my phone?”

Me: “Well, as I said, it is only a recording. We can only see footage of where the camera was focused at the time.”

Customer: “I know, but why didn’t he just move the camera and tell me where I left my phone?”

Me: “It occurred in the past; he can’t go back in time and move what the cameras were looking at.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand what I am saying.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Well I am going to be filing a police report; maybe they can see more than your loss prevention person!”

Needs To Press Paws

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am cashier at a pet store. I see a man walk into the store, pick up a large and expensive coffee table book on show dogs, and get in my line. My manager has warned me, and shown me a picture of this man. He tries to convince cashiers to give him a refund for items he has just stolen. I immediately page my manager, who, unbeknownst to me, is tied up with a minor medical emergency in the back of the store.)

Thief: “I want to return this item.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Thief: “No.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Without a receipt, I cannot give you a refund.”

Thief: “Give me a refund.”

Me: “Sir, I watched you pick that book up when you came in. I know you did not buy it.”

Thief: “Give me the f****** money, or I’ll kick your a**.”

(Most of the customers in my line start backing away.)

Me: “Sir, I cannot give you any money, and if you leave with that item I will call the police. Please leave the store.”

Thief: “You little a**-hole!”

(The thief grabs the front of my shirt, and rears his arm back to punch me. I throw my arms up to shield my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of movement. The next thing I see is a spatter of blood on my counter, and the man out cold on the floor with a bloody nose. My manager, with a paramedic from the earlier emergency, walks up.)

Manager: “What the heck just happened?”

(As I tell my story, an assistant manager calls the police, opens another line, and checks out the waiting customers. The paramedic starts checking on the man, who has a clearly broken nose. The man slowly regains consciousness, and points to me.)

Thief: “She assaulted me! I’m going to sue!”

(I talk to the police.)

Me: “He grabbed me, but I never hit him. I don’t know how he got hurt!”

(The man, a known criminal, is handcuffed and put in the police car. The officers and my manager go to review the security cameras. About ten minutes later, I get called to come back to the office.)

Manager: “You have got to watch this!”

(The camera footage clearly shows the man getting the book, getting in line, arguing with me, and then grabbing my shirt. At that moment, the customer in line after him, a tiny, middle-aged Asian woman, leaps up, grabs the hair on the back of his head, slams his face into my counter, and then calmly steps back to where she had been standing. She did it so quickly, that we have to run the footage back on slow to see exactly what she had done. After the thief is out cold, she walks over to the new line that the assistant manager opened, buys her bag of cat food with cash, and leaves without a word. Apparently, the other customers either didn’t see what she did, or decided to keep their mouths shut. We have no idea who she is, and we never see her again. The thief was charged with assault on me, and arrested. Wherever you are lady, thanks! You’re my personal super hero!)

Bigotry Does Not Check Out

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

(A male customer cuts in line at the check-out during Black Friday.)

Customer: “B****! Get off your lazy a** and bag my items!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me! Or didn’t you? All you woman are as useless as—”

Next Customer: “Pardon my interruption, but you do realize you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you mother… A WOMAN? You call that useless?”

(The customer leaves quickly, without eye contact.)