Mirror, Mirror On The Wall And Not For Sale

, | St. Paul, MN, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in a second hand clothing store. The store has racks of clothes and a couple full length mirrors. A man walks in.)

Customer: “Where are your mirrors for sale?”

Me: “Um, we don’t sell mirrors.”

Customer: “What do you sell?”

Me: “Clothing. We’re a clothing store.”

Customer: “What kind of a place is this?!” *storms out*

Lost In No Translation, Part 3

| Lake Grove, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Hello. Do you have an Italian to American dictionary?”

(Note that the caller doesn’t seem to have trouble speaking English, and has a New York accent.)

Me: “We have Italian to English dictionaries.”

Customer: “No, no. I need Italian to American because English is a different language, right?”

Me: “The English language is what we speak in America.”

Customer: *frustrated* “Can I speak to someone who might know better?!”

Related:
Lost In No Translation

Jealousy Is A (Rude) Green-Eyed Monster

| Owen Sound, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

(I am helping a customer in line when the phone starts ringing.)

Customer: “Here, I’ll fix that.” *picks up phone and hangs up*

Me: “Sir, you can’t do that. The people calling are customers, too.”

Customer: “I don’t want anyone to come between us.”

(The phone starts ringing again.)

Customer: “You need to help me first!”

Me: “Sir, I promise not to answer the phone until we’re finished.”

Customer: “I can’t take that chance!” *hangs up the phone again*

Of Objects And Objectivity

, | London, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you sell MP3s?”

Me: “MP3 players, sir?”

Customer: “No, no, no. I want to buy MP3s.”

Me: “You can buy MP3s from our website’s digital store. It’s really easy. However, we don’t sell MP3s in store, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “So, you don’t sell MP3s in store? Why?”

Me: “You can’t hold an MP3, sir.”

You Got The Wrong(est) Audition

, | California, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

(I’m working a register as a odd looking man approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sexy, I have a complaint.”

(I just ignore the “sexy” part and move on.)

Me: “What’s the problem, sir?”

Customer: “That’s not your line! Do you want me in this f***ing porno or what?!”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Customer: “You aren’t the girl, are you?”

Me: “Um…I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, then! Have a good day, miss! God bless you!”

Me: *speechless*

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

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