I live in Western Australia, and we haven’t had to mask up much compared to other places. I worked in a very busy cafe in a very rich suburb from 2019 to 2021.

I would see people put their masks on at the door, come to the counter, and complain about wearing a mask, and then they would sit down and take their masks off.

Meanwhile, I was stuck serving, talking, and breathing in a mask for ten hours.

One day, a man came in without a mask.

Customer: “I don’t wear chin diapers.”

Me: “This is Australia; we call them nappies here. You’ve been watching too much South Park.”

I refused him service and never saw him again.

Just a tip, don’t go up to workers who have to wear masks all day and complain about them.

I work as a self-checkout clerk. It’s my job to stand near the registers, make sure people don’t steal stuff, and make sure any issues they have with our system get smoothed over. Because of the health crisis, I also sanitize these registers.

Late last night, I was doing just that when two women came up to the register I was trying to clean. I moved off a bit until I noticed that the receipt wasn’t printing after one woman put in her money, and I went over to investigate.

Customer #1: “Why isn’t my receipt printing?”

Me: “Ma’am, it says you still have a dollar and fourteen cents left to pay.”

Then, I moved away, but I stayed nearby because I still needed to clean the register.

Customer #1: “Are you staying here to make sure I don’t steal a dollar and fourteen cents?”

Me: “No, I just wanted to sanitize the register because sometimes people are gross. Since it’s what I have to do next, I just want to stick around.”

Customer #1: “You know, we come through self-checkout to avoid people.”

I internally rolled my eyes, she paid, and she left without her friend. Her friend had grabbed some food from the deli and decided she didn’t want it, so I handed it off to another associate to return and went back to monitoring the area.

Another customer needed help scanning produce because it can be a pain on our system. I went back to the register that the friend was now using to get back my cleaner and paper towels, and I noticed that there were still two items on the belt that hadn’t been scanned.

Me: “Oh, are you going to pay for those in a separate transaction, or do you not want them?”

Customer #2: “Well, I was going to pay for them in a separate transaction, but since you’ve been harassing me all night, I don’t want them anymore!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. I was just trying to clean—”

Customer #2: “You’ve been acting like I was planning on stealing these! I’m going to call and make sure your manager hears about this tomorrow.”

She picked up the two things that were still on the belt and threw them at me. She didn’t throw very hard, and they were light, but it surprised me.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. If you want to talk with—”

Customer #2: “Now you’re trying to embarrass me in front of everyone to keep me from telling him what you did.”

Me: “I’m just trying to understand what I did so that I don’t do it again.”

She grabbed the things she did pay for and left me with the superglue and electrical tape.

This happened at my first part-time job. It was quite fun, and rarely did we have any problems with customers — due to very specific business, most were in a very good mood.

We had this subscription service where you could pay a monthly fee for a card that got you HUGE discounts. If you were a frequent customer, it was beyond a good deal. These discounts had few minor restrictions, however. They were nothing crazy but got many customers confused. Usually, we’d just explain it to them, and they were fine with it.

One such restriction was that you couldn’t pay with cash. In our country, and especially at our location, cash is such a rare occurrence that for average transaction handling, it costs more than card service fees.

It was the last shift. I was supposed to close in ten minutes, and a customer came in who wanted to pay with cash using a discount card.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t take cash with the discount card.”

I explained the policy.

Customer: “I don’t care!”

We went back and forth for a few minutes. Finally, my manager arrived to count my till for closing.

Manager: “What’s the problem here?”

I explained, and the manager repeated the policy to the customer.

Manager: “You can either pay with a card, pay with cash without discounts, or leave because we’re closing.

Customer: “Fine, I’ll pay with a card.”

Me: “Okay. Please touch the terminal with your card.”

Then, he decided to push my manager away with his arm.

My manager said nothing, smiled, and counted my till, and I was on my way. That was strange because she’s not one to take this lightly; I expected h*** to break loose.

However, when I was checking in next weekend, she pulled me away.

Manager: “I contacted corporate about that guy who pushed me. His card has been canceled and he’s banned from all locations countrywide. We also sent him a nice email about how grateful he should be that I’m not pressing charges for assault.”

Since my store started requiring masks, we’ve seen a lot of interesting choices. My favorite was the customer who wore a plastic face shield like a sun visor, with a message on it on a piece of masking tape.

Message: “OBEY, SERF — WORN BY FORCE, NOT BY CHOICE”

The runner-up was the guy who taped one layer of cheesecloth to his face with a piece of masking tape labeled, “PLACEBO”.

I’m at work, and I answer the phone for my department.

Customer: “I called yesterday and spoke to some guy about whether you had an item available. He told me he’d call back once he found out, but I never got a call back.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What was the item you were looking for?”

Customer: “You mean I have to go through this all over again?!”

Me: “Well, since I’m not the one you spoke with originally, I’ll need some details to get an answer for you.”

Customer: “Did the guy not leave a note or something?”

Me: “He might have. What’s your name?”

Customer: “Ugh, I don’t feel like going through this all again with you. Just let me speak to the guy I spoke to yesterday.”

Me: “Unfortunately, he’s not in. I’m the only one working in this department today. If you don’t want to go over things again with me, I can leave a note for him to give you a call when he’s in?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, like he said he’d call yesterday? No, thanks!”

Me: “Uh, okay. I’m sorry, but if you don’t want to tell me your name or the item you’re looking for, and you don’t want me to leave a message for the person you originally spoke to, I’m not sure how I can help you.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Just forget it. It sounds like [Company] is really confused about how to run a business. I’ll take my money elsewhere.”

And she hung up the phone on me as I was telling her to have a nice day.

I just really don’t understand how she expected me to help her while simultaneously giving me NO information to go on. So sorry my work didn’t hire mind-readers.