A Dogged Sense Of Humor

| Cochrane, Alberta, Canada | At The Checkout

(A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)

Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs huh?”

Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”

Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”

You Few Who Queue To Argue

| New Zealand | At The Checkout

(This occurs at the busiest time of year for our company. We have every checkout possible open and there are often lines of at least 15 people during most of the day. I am serving at my checkout when I hear a customer grumbling from the line. He comes to my checkout.)

Me: “Hi there, sir, thanks for waiting. Is this everything you wanted today?”

Customer: “NO! I am NOT buying these products! I waited in line for twenty minutes and that is far too long for anyone to wait to buy anything!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this is our busiest time of year and as you can see, all of our staff are currently serving–”

Customer: “I don’t care! I’m not buying anything! You can put this all back yourself. I didn’t wait in line for this kind of treatment.”

Me: “Um, so you waited in line to tell me that you aren’t going to wait in line and buy these products?”

Customer: “Yes!” *storms off*

Trick And/Or Treat

| Westminster, CO, USA | Family & Kids

(It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

Son: “Why not?!”

Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”

How Berry Rude Of You

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m straightening things in the store and I have just finished an aisle. As I walk into the next aisle, which contains candles, I see a customer looking at the candles. He looks very angry and makes a strange face when he sees me walking towards him.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “You don’t have mulberry. That’s rude!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You should be!” *stomps out of the aisle*

Instant Rebate, Instant Headache

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you work in this department?”

Me: “No, but I’d be happy to help you if you have a question.”

Customer: “How does this rebate work?”

Me: “This is an instant rebate. All you need to do is to take the item to any register and you’ll get the item for the rebate price.”

Customer: “How long does it take?”

Me: “Our instant rebates happen instantly.”

Customer: “Do I get a store credit, or something?”

Me: “No, you get the rebate right away, so you just pay a lower price.”

Customer: “I don’t have a lot of time today. How long does it take?”

Me: “It happens instantly, ma’am.”

Customer: “Maybe I should find someone who works in this department!” *walks off*

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