I sold an item on social media, only to be let down and ignored. It was annoying but not the first or last time that would happen. The odd thing was that the buyer came back to me and (without apologising) told me she did actually want the item and asked if she could have it.

No sooner did I say yes than she suddenly stopped answering my messages. I blocked her and moved on.

A week later, I got another message: new person, same pattern. I checked out her profile; it was a friend of the first woman. I blocked her and moved on.

Three more of her friends did the same thing. I blocked all of them. It didn’t bother me as much as confuse me how anyone had so little going on in their lives that this was entertaining.

Then, I thought of a plan. I got another message; it was another one of her friends.

Customer: “Is this available?”

Me: “Yes, it is. In fact, due to the number of time-wasters, it’s free if you can collect.”

I heard nothing all day. I thought they hadn’t taken the bait. Then…

Customer: “It’s for my friend. She says she wants it.”

Me: “Okay, great. The address is [address].”

Customer: “I thought you were in [Area]?”

There’s no way she could know this unless she spoke to the first woman.

Me: “Oh, yes, but I was selling it because we moved house. We are no longer in [Area].”

Customer: “Okay, I will have to get back to you.”

I heard nothing for two days, and then:

Customer: “Okay, she will have it. I want to come today.”

Me: “Sure thing, any time after six. Just follow your satnav and ask for me when you get to the gate.”

There was only one way to get to the address through a long, muddy, single-lane road with no lights and lots of brambles. At the end of the road was a little-known military testing site. I doubt they gave them a friendly reception as they don’t appreciate people wandering up.

I blocked the last woman and donated the items to a local charity. I’ve never heard anything since.

I work in a small boutique across from a donut store, and so I end up going there frequently. One day, my card isn’t going through for whatever reason, and we’ve tried their other machine, my phone, etc., unsure of whose end is acting up. I’ve made peace that I won’t be getting my donut/coffee combo for the morning. The two women there this morning have been so nice, regardless.

Me: “Well, doesn’t seem to be working. I’m so sorry for bothering you, but don’t worry about it!”

Woman #1: “Oh, we’ve already started making the coffee anyhow, so don’t worry about paying.”

Me: “I’ll pay you both back tomorrow.”

[Woman #1] slides the donut box toward me.

Woman #2: “Don’t stress. Seriously. You’re right across from us, right? We’re practically neighbours!

I nearly cried, to be honest, but here I am, sipping my drink and eating a donut.

I had a regular customer that was a guy in his late seventies. One time, he came in with a buddy. I waved and welcomed him in. He curled his finger at me to have me walk over to him. When I did, he said to his buddy:

Regular: “I told you I could make her come with one finger.”

I was in shock and honestly didn’t even know what to do but walk away from him. I never again acknowledged his existence when he was in the store.

It’s a slow day at work, and I’m standing around chatting with the other three rookies. The phone rings and one of them picks it up.

Coworker: “Hi, this is [Coworker]. Welcome to [Store]…”

There’s a beat, followed by him putting the phone straight down and turning to us.

Coworker: “I just hung up on them.”

The baffled look on his face was priceless, and we all burst out laughing.

No, the customer didn’t say anything weird; my coworker just blanked and hung up. We usually answer the phone with, “Welcome to [Store]; this is [My Name],” so I suspect the poor guy got off script and couldn’t save it.

Hopefully, the customer assumed they just got disconnected.

I am newer to retail, and I’m in the middle of a rush. I’m in the middle of a transaction when another customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Where did you put my cart?!”

I look at her confused as I continue scanning my current customer’s items.

Customer: “I had to go to the bathroom, and since you guys don’t have public bathrooms — which is unbelievable, by the way — I ran across the street to the bathroom, and when I got back, my cart was gone!”

Me: “I am sorry about that, ma’am. Our bathrooms are in our stock room, so it is not safe for us to let customers use them. Someone probably thought your cart was abandoned, so they put the stuff away.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Who put my stuff away? I was gone for five minutes!”

Bagger: “Yeah, ma’am, I saw someone from deli put it away because it had meat in it.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this effing store! Now I have to start all over! It is absolutely ridiculous that you guys don’t have public bathrooms!”

I gave her a slightly apologetic look and was happy I was on lunch when she came back to check out.