Try Before You Psy

| USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a store that sells movies, games and music among other memorabilia. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this CD.”

Me: “I can offer you store credit, and you can use it to purchase anything in the store.”

Customer: “Well, I was looking for this same CD but in English.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “My daughter asked me for this CD, but it seems I made a mistake, as it’s all in Chinese! I want the CD in English.”

(She shows me the CD in question, and I see it’s a ‘Girls’ Generation’ album, a Korean girl group.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; this album is of a Korean girl group. They sing in Korean.”

Customer: “Korean, Chinese, whatever, I just want the American version with the songs in English!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, they’re Korean singers. They sing in Korean. They have Japanese albums too, but we don’t have them, though.”

Customer: “So they’re not in English?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “Then why the h*** do I want to listen to it if I can’t understand it?”

Thinking Outside The Box, Part 4

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “I want to buy an iron.”

Me: “Okay, our irons are right here. Is there something specific that you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Oh, nothing too fancy; it’s a gift. This one looks good, but I’d like you to open it to make sure that everything is inside.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I open the box, show the customer the iron and manual, put everything back, and close the box back up. It looks the same as it did before I opened the box.)

Customer: “Oh, great, thanks.”

(The customer puts the iron back on the shelf. It’s the only one of its kind on the shelf, but on the very top shelf is another one. The customer points to the unopened box on the top shelf.)

Customer: “Can you hand me that one right there?”

Me: “Okay, would you like me to open that box, as well?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to give my niece an open box for her wedding!”

Me: “Pardon me, but if I opened that box to make sure that the iron and manual were inside, wouldn’t it make sense to open that other box, as well?”

(The customer looks blank.)

Me: “I mean, how do you know that the iron and manual are going to be in that box up there?”

Customer: “Because I opened a box.”

Me: “But not that one up top.”

Customer: “I. Opened. A. Box.”

Me: *giving up* “Here, let me get you that iron…”

Related:
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

A Nasty Mood Swing

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a cashier at a home improvement store. A customer comes to my register pushing a cart with several heavy items in it.)

Me: “Hi there, how are you today?”

Customer: “Oh, just fine, thank you!”

(We make small talk as I ring the customer up. She has been perfectly nice so far.)

Me: “Do you want a hand loading your stuff?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. It was hard to get these in the cart!”

Me: “Sure thing! I’ll page for one of the loaders. He’ll be right over.”

(As I finish running the customer’s credit card through and hand her the receipt, she says something, but she mumbles and I don’t quite hear her.)

Me: “Sorry, say again?”

(The customer’s demeanor instantly changes from pleasant to furious.)

Customer: “I SAID, Should I wait for the loading man HERE? Or I should I go and wait by the DOOR?”

(I’m baffled by the mood swing, but I smile and put on my best cheerful voice.)

Me: “Oh, it doesn’t matter! He’ll be here in just a minute and there’s no line, so you can wait right here if you don’t want to push the cart over to the door.”

Customer: “Did I do something to you? Have I insulted you or your family?”

Me: “Not… that I’m aware of…?”

Customer: “I just asked a question and you’re being so NASTY to me! I don’t know why you had to be so rude just to answer my question!”

Me: “I’m not being rude. I’m being matter-of-fact. It doesn’t matter if you wait right here or if you wait by the—”

Customer: “You are so NASTY!”

(The loading guy appears.)

Loading Guy: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes! You can take my things to my car and get me AWAY from this girl! She is so NASTY, I don’t know how you stand her!”

(The loading guy shoots me a bewildered look, and walks out with the customer, who is still shouting about how nasty I am. He comes back in a couple minutes later.)

Loading Guy: “What the f*** was that?”

Me: “H*** if I know. I’m so glad I’m off tomorrow.”