No Aptitude For Latitude, Part 2

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I am talking to a woman on the phone who needs to call back the next day. She is in Texas).

Caller: “What time is it there?”

Me: “Three thirty.”

Caller: “In the morning?”

Me: “No, in the afternoon.”

Caller: “Oh. Of what day?”

Me: “Saturday. We’re only three hours different from you.”

Caller: “Really?” *pause* “Is it snowing?”

Me: “No ma’am, its August. Its nice and sunny out.”

Caller: “Oh wow!”

Related:
Yukon Freeze It
No Vocation For Location
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
No Fortitude For Longitude
No Aptitude For Latitude

I Hear Sea Shells On The Sea Shore

| USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I work at a small shop that sells sea shells and other beach items. A customer comes in and holds a piece of merchandise to her ear.)

Customer: “I think I can hear the ocean. I thought they were lying!”

Me: “Um, ma’am…”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You’re holding a cup with a seashell painted on it to your ear.”

Pray She Doesn’t Use Hemorrhoid Cream

| Orland Park, IL, USA | Health & Body, Uncategorized

Customer: “You changed the formulation of [day cream]. You should really tell customers when you do that!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we were not made aware of that change. How did you find out?”

Customer: “Well it tastes different.”

Me: “Tastes different? You tasted the product?”

Customer: “Of course! I taste everything I put on my body!”

Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Language & Words, Uncategorized

(I’m an Asian Spanish/English interpreter in charge of taking care of our Spanish speaking custumers. I approach a Mexican customer.)

Me: “Good afternoon. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh my god, you speak Spanish!”

Me: “Yes I do, it’s a service provided by our store for your convenience. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “But you’re Chinese!”

Me: “I’m actually Korean born and raised in Argentina, so it’s easier for me to speak in Spanish.”

Customer: “That’s not possible! Chinese people only speak Chinese!”

Me: “I assure you I’m not Chinese and cannot speak Chinese at all.”

Customer: “But…but Chinese people should speak Chinese!”

Related:
Incheon Further Away From The Answer

The Customer Is A Fool, Of This I Am Curtain

| United Kingdom | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Uncategorized

Customer: *holding a pair of curtains* “Excuse me, will these curtains fit in my window?”

Me: “I’m not sure Sir. Do you have the measurements of the window with you?”

Customer: *confused* “Measurements? I need to measure the window? How do I do that?”

(I hand the man a leaflet explaining how to measure windows correctly.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. I didn’t realise you had to take measurements. I just guessed it was one size fits all.”