The Polites Are On But Nobody’s Home

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work at the till. We always ask a few questions to every customer.)

Me: “Did you get everything you were looking for okay today?”

Customer: *nodding* “Thank you!”

Me: “Are you interested in any gift cards today?”

(The customer shakes her head side-to-side this time, with inflections to say ‘no’.)

Customer: “Thank you.”

Me: “That’ll be [price], please.”

(The customer hands me the money.)

Customer: “Thank you!”

Me: “And here’s your change and receipt.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

Me: “See you later.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

These Wheels Don’t Revolve Around You

| Duluth, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Top

(A middle-aged customer approaches me. I’m helping an elderly customer who has fallen out of his wheelchair, back into his chair. I’m a small guy: about 5’6″ tall and 120lbs.)

Middle-Aged Customer: “Hey, you!”

Me: “I’ll be with you in a moment, miss.”

(I continue struggling to help the elderly customer back into his wheelchair.)

Middle-Aged Customer: “Help me now, d*** it! I’m in a hurry; he can f****** wait!”

(I ignore her until I am able to get the elderly customer back in his wheelchair. I start checking to see if he is okay.)

Me: “Are you sure you’re alright, sir?”

(The middle-aged customer grabs my shoulder, pulling me to face her.)

Middle-Aged Customer: “I said, NOW!”

Elderly Customer: “Now listen here you b****! What the h*** gives you the right to talk to this young man—much less grab him—like that? He told you he’d help you in a minute. People like you are what’s wrong with the world. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Stop acting like a d*** child!”

Middle-Aged Customer: *storms off*

No ID, No Idea, Part 11

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month

(An American customer approaches, and tries to pay with a card that isn’t his. It has a typically female name on it, and the signatures don’t match.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t think this is your card. I can’t put through the sale.”

Customer: “It’s my girlfriend’s. She said I could use it.”

Me: “That might be so, but it’s illegal for me to finish the sale; I am sorry. Is your girlfriend in the store? She can come and sign for it.”

(I suggest this cheerfully, so that he knows I’m definitely not accusing him of having a stolen card. However, the customer instantly snaps and begins yelling.)

Customer: “YOU F****** AUSTRALIANS! I COME HERE FOR A HOLIDAY, AND YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF RACIST PRICKS! IF I WAS AUSTRALIAN, YOU’D F****** PROCESS IT! THIS S*** DOESN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA! F*** YOU!”

(My manager, who happens to be nearby, decides to intervene.)

Manager: “Sir, that’s simply not true. It’s legislation to protect people from having their card stolen. We’re protecting your girlfriend’s money.”

Customer: “WHAT A LOAD OF S***. WELCOME TO F****** AUSTRALIA, HEY? F*** ALL OF YOU! F*** YOUR F****** COUNTRY! F****** AUSSIE RACIST C****!”

(He storms out of the store, leaving everyone speechless.)

Manager: “I wonder what he’ll do when he realises he left the card behind.”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9