Someone Has Had A Bit Too Much Coffee

| Melbourne, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It’s early in the morning, and so the home-wares store that I work in is pretty quiet at the moment. It is so quiet, that I can hear this customer from the other end of the store as she walks in, getting progressively louder as she approaches me.)

Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

(Hearing this, I turn around to see a middle aged woman and her 10-year-old son looking at me expectantly, still repeating ‘coffee cups’ as she gets closer.)

Me: “Um, was there something I can help you with tod—”

Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

Me: *trying my best to act normal* “Sure… just on the shelf in the corner there.” *points*

Customer: “Ah! Coffee cups!”

A Spelling Konflict

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Language & Words

(A customer is looking for an icy-pole maker.)

Me: “Okay, now you said you were after a certain brand name?”

Customer: “Yes, all I know is that it starts with a ‘K’.”

(We do not currently stock any icy-pole related products by brands starting with a ‘K’, but we do have some starting with a ‘C’.)

Me: “Are you sure it wasn’t one of these ones here, miss? We have—”

Customer: “No, no! I’ll know it when I see it. It definitely starts with ‘K’. Oh look, there it is!”

Me: “Um… are you sure, miss? That machine is by the Zoku brand.”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it! Zoku! It start’s with a ‘K’! ‘K’ for Zoku!”

Gay Rights And Copyrights

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bigotry, Health & Body

(A female customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “I want to return this Jillian Michael’s Work Out DVD Set.”

Me: “Is there something wrong with it?”

Customer: “I just found out that she’s gay. I don’t want to stare at a gay woman exercising. She’ll turn me gay.”

Me: “…right. Well, I’m sorry, but I cannot take this back.”

Customer: “You want me to be gay?!”

Me: “Um, no. The kit is opened, and for copyright reasons I cannot return opened DVDs.”

Customer: “If I go to Hell, it’s your fault!”