Wheeling And Dealing With Reality

| Alberta, Canada | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

(We sell pepperoni sticks for two for one dollar. A customer brings up a box which consists of 40 sticks.)

Me: “That will be twenty dollars.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because they are two for one, and twenty is half of forty.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought the whole box was only fifty cents. That would be an awesome deal.”

Me: “Well, it’s still cheaper than most places.”

Customer: “Yes, but the one in my mind was better!”

Byte-eous Retribution

| Hollister, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A woman is buying a World War 2-based game for her child’s birthday.)

Me: “Okay, so, I’ve heard good things about this one, but just so you know, it is rated Mature. That’s like an R rating.”

Customer: “Oh, wait. Really? Why?”

Me: “This one’s got some foul language, but it’s mostly the violence and blood, I’m sure.”

Customer: “Violence? Like, killing people? He’s only turning 12.”

Me: “Well, yeah. It’s WW2. So it’s a lot of Nazi killing.”

Customer: “Oh, just Nazis? You can’t kill anyone else?”

Me: “Not as far as I know.”

Customer: “That’s fine, then. I’ll take it.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6

| Orlando, FL, USA | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “Wait, that’s only supposed to be twenty dollars cheaper.”

Me: “Yes sir, that’s after the mail-in rebate. You have to send in the paperwork and proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well why don’t you give me the discount now and send in the rebate yourself?”

Me: “No, that’s not how this works. You are responsible for sending in the rebate yourself.”

Customer: “You mean you’re making me responsible for my own money?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Seeing The Sun In A Whole New Light

| Narvik, Norway | Geography, Math & Science, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I work in a store, where a lot of tourists come through. A German motorcyclist couple are on their way up to the North Cape.)

Customer: “Oh, your country is so beautiful! We’re going all the way up to the North Cape on our motorcycle.”

Me: “Wow, how fun! Hope you get lucky with the weather then.”

Customer: “Thank you dear. Yes, we have always wanted to see the midnight sun. We have saved up for this trip for years.”

Me: “Well, then I really hope the weather gods are on your side. Would be a shame if it were all cloudy and grey when you get there.”

Customer: “Oh, they say the midnight sun is so bright, it’ll shine through just about anything when it comes up! Can’t wait!”

Me: “When it comes up? The sun is up all the time now.”

Customer: “What? We’re here to see the midnight sun! You know, the one that shines at midnight?!”

Me: “Ma’am, the midnight sun is the sun. The only sun. Only difference is that it’s so high here up north that it never sets. It just circles around a little. Therefore we can see it at night.”

Customer: “What!” *she turns to her husband and rants in German* “Did you hear that? We’ve been ripped off! It’s the same sun as we have at home! And to think we came to this s*** expensive country, drove all the way, and it’s the same Sun!?”

When Two Wrongs Make It Right

| Washington, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

(The night previous we had a customer shoplift about $300 worth of merchandise while I was on shift. Thankfully, while she did get away with quite a bit, she escaped with only one boot of a pair as I had removed the second boot, with ink tag intact, pending acceptance of her check.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store name] what can we help you find today?”

Caller: “Hi! I was at your store last night and the lady that helped me shorted us a shoe!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What style was it?”

Caller: “A [brand]. It was the right shoe. She was going to take the tag off and never did! I live far away so do you think you could transfer it to the [different location] store?”

Me: “I don’t believe that would be feasible as we don’t have a way to get it to that store, but we might be able to mail it to you! Can I get your name, phone number, and address?”

Caller: “Sure. It is [name, number & address].”

(I get off the phone looking like the Cheshire cat. The thief had just given her full name, phone number, and address.)