Cordless & Clueless

| Yorkshire, UK | Technology

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a cordless phone.”

Me: “No problem, they’re just over here.”

Customer: ‘I’m wanting one without batteries and that you plug into the mains, do you have any?”

Me: “That would defeat the point of a cordless phone wouldn’t it?”

Customer: “No, I had one last time!”

Me: “Was it like this?”

(I show her the corded phones.)

Customer: “Yes! See, a cordless phone you plug in!”

Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 8
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 7
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 6

Narcoleptic Nancy’s Inconvenient Nap

| New Jersey, USA | Uncategorized

(There are a dozen people in line waiting for three fitting rooms.)

Customer: “Someone’s been inside room #1 for a long time.”

(I walk over and the other customers confirm. I’m told no one has come out of that particular room for 15 minutes. The door is indeed locked. I knock and there’s no response. I knock harder and still no response.)

Me: “That’s weird. The door is locked, not stuck. It can only be locked from the inside or with a key. Did you see who went in there?”

Customer: “Yes, some lady.”

(I bang on the door this time. Again, no response. I go to get the key and open the door. Inside is a fully dressed lady sitting on the bench sleeping. Store clothes are strewn on the floor. I have to shake her to wake her up.)

Lady: *slurred* “What?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re sleeping in our fitting room and there’s a line of people waiting. You weren’t responding when we knocked, so I had to come in to check on you.”

Lady: “Oh! My goodness, I’m so sorry! I’m really tired, and on top of that, I’m a very sound sleeper!”

Future Treasury Secretaries Of America

| Snellville, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(I am a customer at a sporting goods store. As I am walking towards the restroom, I hear a little boy asking his mom to buy him something.)

Boy: “Mommy, I want this!”

Mom: “No, honey, we’re not going to buy that. Let’s go.”

Boy: “But why?”

Mom: “We’re not going to buy it because it is a waste of money!”

Boy: “But we can just buy more money!”

Always After The Next Best Thing

| Southampton, UK | Love/Romance

Caller: “Is [colleague] there?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid she’s left for the day. Is there anything I can help with?”

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if she had a p-word?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Caller: “You know, a partner? A boyfriend?”

Me: “I’m sorry? Yes, I’m afraid she does. Is there anything else I can help with?”

Caller: “Yes, uh, do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “Uh, yes, I do.”

Caller: “Oh, right, that’s a shame. You sound like a lovely girl. Is there anyone else in your shop without a boyfriend?”

Me: “Uh, no, I’m afraid everyone here is married.”

Caller: “Are they all faithful?”

Me: *speechless*

A Call To Arms

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(Since we are a large store, we communicate with each other on radios. I am helping a customer when my manager starts speaking into the radio.)

Manager: “I need an additional cashier to the registers.”

Customer: *pauses in mid-sentence* “Wait…is she talking to me?”

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