I’m giving away a used but high-quality sofa and chair online. I used my entire bonus on this a year ago and it’s lasted us well. The only reason it’s free is that our new sofa turned up early and we have zero place to put it.

After three people decide to arrange to collect and then just ghost me, I relist it in a very passive-aggressive way.

Ad: “Great sofa and chair — free if you can collect. No time-wasters, please. Due to people who like to arrange collection and then just ignore you, this is now available again.”

I get lots of interest, requests for measurements, and questions about whether it’s available. Then, I get a message from one of the women who disappeared on me.

Woman: “How dare you?! I didn’t ignore you! My phone broke!”

Me: “Forgetting what lies you told? You said your phone broke the first time you didn’t respond, and then I saw you read my message.”

Woman: “Phones can break twice!”

Me: “Yeah, so you want me to believe that you ‘smashed’ your phone one day, fixed it the next, and then broke it again the day after.”

Woman: “Yeah! What’s so unbelievable about that?”

Me: “I don’t know, maybe because you saw my messages and posted selfies the same day.”

She ignored me again. Some people.

I am at a store buying candy for an upcoming spooky holiday. I don’t work at the store and I have a green shirt on. I am browsing when a man in his seventies and a six-foot-tall teenage boy come up to me out of the blue.

Man: “Where can I find the strawberries?”

We are in the right area and I know where the fresh fruit is, so I walk him over.

Man: “No, I wanted strawberries for strawberry shortcake. I have not had any in many years.” *Getting flustered* “I wanted… more creamy strawberry.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t work here, and I’m not sure what you mean.”

I feel bad as he wanders off to look for others to help him. I watch him walk off, and then I suddenly get the idea: pie filling! I run to the baking aisle to find the strawberry filling, and then I go off to find the man.

I found him a little after near the frozen strawberries, getting slightly upset about how they wouldn’t be right either since the pieces would be too big. I tapped him on the shoulder and waved. Then, I showed him the can.

Me: “I found pie filling. I use it when I want shortcake.”

Man: *Smiling brightly* “This will do great! Thank you. You’re a great worker.”

Me: *Smiling back* “I don’t work here.”

Man: “Why did you help, then?”

Me: “You asked me. It doesn’t hurt to ask; you’re no better off if you didn’t ask at all.”

We part ways and I head to the candy aisle. I find the good candy up high. I’m only five feet tall, so I start to try and climb up to reach the big pack of normal candy bars. Then, a tall teenage boy comes up and helps me get them down.

Me: “Thank you.”

Teenager: “No problem. You helped my grandpa in being able to enjoy his favorite snack with us. He asked me to help you. He wanted me to say, ‘It doesn’t hurt to ask.’”

The teen walked back to his grandpa and we all waved and parted ways.

I worked as a manager in a busy Boston shopping and tourist spot in the mid-1990s. The shop was three floors: two above ground, open to the public, and a floor below ground for employees accessible through two locked doors and a narrow spiral staircase. Outside of the door on the top level were public restrooms.

It was a very busy summer afternoon with at least 100 people in the store. A little boy standing in line with his family told his dad he had to pee. Dad ignored him. The boy told him several times, and still, Dad didn’t react. He got to the register where I was helping to expedite the checkout process.

Dad: “Do you have a bathroom?”

Me: “There is a public restroom in the hallway upstairs, just outside of the store exit.”

Dad: “No. He needs your bathroom. He can’t wait.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our employee bathrooms are not accessible on this floor, and for safety reasons, I cannot bring you below. The public restrooms are just upstairs, though.”

Dad: “Are you telling me you are ignoring the needs of a little boy due to ‘safety’?”

He did finger quotes as he said this.

Me: “Yes, sir, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

It went on for a few more seconds until the dad grabbed the kid who desperately needed to pee at this point and left to use the restroom. I checked out the rest of his family, who were embarrassed by the confrontation, and I was in the middle of checking out the next person in line when Dad came back into the store, dragging his child, who was crying and in wet pants. The father started screaming at me.

Dad: “He pissed himself! Are you happy, you dumb b****? This is all your fault! He pissed himself like a f****** baby!”

At this point, the customer who I was checking out spoke up.

Customer: “Are you joking? Your child told you he had to pee while we were still standing back there—” *gestures to where the line is stretched back at least ten people away* “—and you did nothing. You tried to bully this poor woman into breaking rules instead of just saying thank you and taking your kid to the bathroom. And now you’re humiliating him at the same time as trying to blame her? Your bathroom emergency was not her fault!”

It was a great moment made better when the dad started arguing with the customer. He started threatening violence, so one of my employees grabbed an officer patrolling outside to intervene. The officer told the angry dad:

Officer: “Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for anyone else.”

I have always been a very self-confident type of person, but I’m also easygoing and always do my best to be decent to people. I was just brought up that way. I also expect it from others and have absolutely zero patience for people who think it’s okay to act out or be blatantly rude.

One afternoon, I was at a large store trying to do some shopping. I hadn’t thought much about it, but I happened to be wearing the store’s colors: a dark blue button-up shirt, neat jeans, and nice work shoes. I am a trucker and was wearing a shirt from my company.

At some point, I heard a loud, pointed throat-clearing behind me.

Woman: “Ahem! Excuuuuse me!”

A woman in business attire is standing behind me. She gazed at me sternly, her eyes steely, her demeanor as if she were about to berate a servant who had erred.

I stared, silent for a moment, gathering back a swell of irritation at just seeing the attitude this lady had, and then I just simply blurted:

Me: “What?”

She jerked back, incredulous, as though I had just slapped her. But she was also quick to recover.

Woman: “Employees should not speak to customers in such a fashion!”

My brows just went up. That was all. But I said in a very level tone:

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Then I turned away from her, just intent on going back to my shopping.

Woman: “You do not turn away from me!”

She went so far as to grab the back of my suspenders.

I very calmly turned back around and looked down at her a second. (I’m six-foot and she was like five-foot-and-a-half or something.) Then, I leaned down very close to her face — this was long before the health crisis — and began in a very low voice:

Me: “I said…”

Then, I raised my voice to its loudest by the word, finishing with:

Me: “…I DO NOT WORK HERE!”

By the time I was out with, “HERE!”, I was so loud that I could have been heard all the way through this superstore. I even think I blew her hair back a little.

The look on her face was wonderful.

Woman: *Stammering* “I… I… I’m sorry. I thought you were—”

Me: “Thought I was an employee, yes.”

I was still dead in her face.

Me: “Which you thought gave you the right to speak to me and treat me as though I was beneath you.”

I leaned in even closer. She stood, spellbound, a viper and mouse — she the mouse, me the viper.

Me: “Well, I got news for you, lady. Buying stuff from a store and spending a little money does not grant you license to abuse or belittle people.”

I straightened and then turned on my heel and walked away from her while she stood there gawping like a fish out of water, absolutely speechless.

It was delightful.

I sell safety supplies, and I’ve run into some strange customers.

Customer #1: *On the phone* “I want a four-gas monitor to prove that masks are killing kids. I want to go disrupt an upcoming teacher meeting!”

And then, there was this one.

Customer #2: “I need a hazmat suit. The government is going to release microworms in the air that could kill you!”