Not A Fan Of Fairytales

| Dubbo, NSW, Australia | Right | May 2, 2014

(My store has regular dress up days, and today is St Patrick’s Day. I go all out with a green wig, fairy skirt, stockings, and makeup. A male customer in his 60s stops me.)

Customer: “Why are you green?”

Me: “I’m a leprechaun!”

Customer: “You’ll die soon then.”

Me: “Why?!”

Customer: “Leprechauns die at the end of the day!”

Me: “Oh, how about an Irish fairy? Will I last longer then?”

Customer: “Nah, because I’ll shoot you.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I don’t mean real fairies. I mean the gays!”

Me: “Oh. Well, I’m both, then. Have a nice day!”

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Good Thing He Didn’t Hit The Ceiling

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | May 1, 2014

(A customer comes into the store. He has a jacket bunched up under his arm. I notice him looking up at the ceiling and approach him to see if he needs help. He doesn’t so I head to the counter. He is still looking at the ceiling and then back at me. I call a coworker over.)

Me: “That guy is freaking me out. He’s up to something.”

Coworker: *heads over* “Hi,. Can I help you?”

Customer: “No, just looking.”

Coworker: “Can I check what you have wrapped in your jacket?

(The customer unwraps the jacket to show that he has a black hair brush with a round hollow handle. Then he leaves the store. I head out for lunch and am sitting in a fast food place when I see the man come out of the toilet area. He again is looking at the ceiling and then around the restaurant. He sees me looking at him and quickly leaves. He still has that jacket under his arm, he heads to another fast food place. Again he notices me noticing him. I head back to work.)

Me: *to coworker* “I saw that guy again. He was acting suspiciously in [Fast Food Place] but as soon as he saw me he left. He was checking out the locations of the cameras, which is what he was doing here, too. I think that he was going to pretend he had a gun. The end of that brush could be mistaken for one.”

Coworker: “Yeah. We discussed it while you were gone and came to the same conclusion. I went down to the store that I saw him come out of and they had also noticed him checking out their cameras.”

(There were no reported robberies in the area. We were ready with our surveillance recordings if there were.)

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Sadly They Aren’t Cracking A Joke

| St. George, UT, USA | Right | May 1, 2014

(I work in customer service at a very large store. One day a customer comes up to me looking very upset and holding his cell phone in his hand.)

Customer: “I need to see a manager.”

Me: “Certainly! I’ll call them over now. May I ask what you need to see a manager for?”

Customer: “I need to file a complaint about an employee.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll call the manager over now.”

(The manager takes the customer to the side to talk, but I can still hear them.)

Manager: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I was browsing your store when I saw an employee stocking shelves. His butt was hanging out of his pants. Look!”

(The customer holds up his phone, and he has actually taken a picture of my coworker’s butt crack hanging out of his pants!)

Manager: *stifling laughter* “I’ll talk to that employee and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

(He never talked to said employee.)

Likes To Party Hard

, | Mexico | Right | May 1, 2014

(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

Past The Point Of No Return, Part 6

| NJ, USA | Right | April 30, 2014

(I’m on the floor helping a customer in our perfume department. She picks up two full sized perfume boxes and heads up to the registers. The line is long, so I follow her up and ring the line down. Finally, she approaches my register.)

Me: “Hi, again. Decided to just get the perfumes?”

Customer: “Huh? No. I need to return these.”

Me: *turns the perfume around and point to the soft sensors on the back of the boxes* “Seriously?”

(The customer finally looks at me and I can see the instant she recognizes me.)

Customer: “Oh… uh… forget it.” *runs out of the store*

Related:
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 5
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 4
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
Past The Point Of No Return

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