Back in my retail days, I once had a customer try to return a power bar — an extension cord with multiple outlets, often with surge protectors.

Customer: “This didn’t work! I’d like to return it.”

I tried it out. I plugged in a nearby lamp and it worked just fine. Despite this, she kept insisting it didn’t work.

This was getting weird.

Me: “Can you show me how it doesn’t work? It’s working just fine for me.”

She plugged the lamp into the power bar… and plugged the power bar into itself. The look of triumph on her face when the lamp did not light up was really something to see.

It took way too long to explain that the power bar does not, in fact, MAKE power. Once that sunk in, she demanded a full refund on the power bar and said she would be bringing back the television she’d bought with it; her plan had been to run the television on the power bar, to save on electricity. At no point did she seem to see any humour, irony, or sheer idiocy in any of this.

I never would have believed people like this existed if it weren’t for working retail.

I work at a small, family-owned petrol station. We are also a grocery store and have a popular hot and cold deli. At our station, you pump your fuel and then enter the store to pay. A lot of people will obviously browse the grocery aisles and/or the deli when they come in.

After buying their food and groceries, it can be a good fifteen or more minutes since they pumped their fuel, and we know from experience that, quite often, by the time customers reach the till they have forgotten about the fuel. We ask each and every customer if they have fuel before we cash them out.

We have six pumps, and we can see the pumps through the large window by the tills. And we obviously can see on our tills which fuel on which pump has not yet been paid for. This, and multiple variations of the same interaction, happens at least once a day.

Cashier: “And have you bought any fuel today, please, sir/ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, and could I get a pack of [item], please?”

Cashier: “Certainly, your total is [price]. So, any fuel?”

Customer: *Inserting card* “I need [amount] cashback, please.”

Cashier: “Certainly. I just need to know if you have fuel, please?”

They enter their PIN, remove their card, gather their purchases, and walk off.

Customer: “Thank you. Bye.”

I watch through the window as the customer heads to a car parked at pump four which has some unpaid fuel. I watch as the customer hesitates. I watch as the customer heads back to the till.

Customer: “Sorry, I had fuel.” *Laughs* “You should have asked me!”

I’ve had a particularly bad day at work. With five hours still left to go, I decide to treat myself and use a delivery app to order some food from a popular chain. I order two $1 cheeseburgers and select “no mustard” and “no ketchup” since I feel they use too much, and I have some packets if I end up wanting it.

I place my order and wait impatiently. It takes a while since it’s busy hours for the app, but about forty-five minutes later, I finally get my food. I take a seat and take out my first burger and something feels… off. It feels really light.

I unwrap it and find… no burger, just buns with mustard, onions, and pickles. Angry, I throw it back in the bag and open the app, prepared to go full “Can I talk to your manager?” on whoever made such an idiotic mistake. As I’m combing through the app looking for the “Help” button, I realize who, exactly, made the idiotic mistake.

It was me.

When trying to hit “no mustard” after “no ketchup,” it turns out I hit the “NO MEAT” option just below it and didn’t notice. I call the restaurant, unsure whether to laugh or cry, and ask if there is anything that can be done. I can hear the lady trying not to laugh as she says that since there was no mistake on their part and the food was made how I ordered it, there is nothing they can do.

At least I have my fries.

While I was working, a customer tried to hand me a religious pamphlet of some kind. I was hesitant.

Coworker: “You should take it; it’ll make him happy.”

The guy had the blankest look on his face, and this weird fake smile; it was super creepy, like a ventriloquist puppet.

Me: “All right, but I bet it’s full of hate.”

I took the pamphlet, opened it up, and critiqued it right there. It was full of the usual, “If you don’t prescribe to our very specific sect, you’re going to Hell, even if you believe in God,” stuff, and there was the classic list of things that would get you sent to Hell.

Me: “Oh, look! There are several ways this church thinks I’m evil, and there are the ones where they think you’re evil. I told you, nothing but hate.”

I ripped the pamphlet up in front of the man’s eyes, and that creepy expression never left his face.

That’s why I don’t usually interact with people pushing pamphlets on me: it’s not going to be a pleasant experience for either of us. Why make two bad days when I can just walk away?

I regularly sell items online, often through social media. It’s free and often a good way to reach local people. Out of the blue, I get a message from someone who isn’t a contact.

Person: “Why you block me?”

This is odd because if they were blocked, they couldn’t message me.

Me: “What? You’re not blocked.”

Person: “I am. My name is [Person]. You blocked me!”

I check and yes, I did block someone by that name on another account. It looks like they sell a load of cheap imported furniture and spam the boards. Every post, they list for cheap, and then when you click on the item, it’s actually much more expensive. So, of course, I blocked them. They’re irritating.

Me: “Okay, so I blocked you, and?”

Nothing back from them for a few days, and then…

Person: “I wanted your item; you lost a sale. Bad thing to do! Rude!”

Me: “Whatever, dude. If you don’t like it, you can block me.”

Person: “I will! See how you like it!”

Again a few more days, another message!

Person: “I wanted [item] but you stupid. Now you not sell it!”

Me: “It sold the day I listed it. You will find that if you actually list things properly, people will buy your stuff.”

Then, I blocked them again. I can’t imagine how annoyed that made them. I fully expected another account set up, but so far, I’ve been safe.