The Big Bang Was Not A One-Time Event

| Lawton, OK, USA | Right | October 14, 2014

(At the store a customer left their phone behind. Per store policy, we can hold the phone for the customer, but we can’t answer it if it rings, in case the customer then tries to claim that we either broke or tampered with it.)

Coworker: “You look stressed.”

Me: “I am!”

Coworker: “Why?”

Me: “Because the phone has the ENTIRE theme to The Big Bang Theory as the ringtone. And it won’t… stop… ringing…”

Must Bow To Work Rules

| OH, USA | Working | October 14, 2014

(I wear a black hair bow to work. One day, I’m starting to close my area. I take my hair bow out to keep it from getting dirty. I’m still holding it when my manager goes by.)

Me: “Look, [Manager]! I have a mustache!”

(I hold it under my nose. He suddenly turns serious.)

Manager: “[My Name], you know the policy on facial hair. You’ll have to shave before you come back.”

Me: “Okay.” *moves hair bow*

Manager: “That’s better.”

Taking Things At Face Value

| OH, USA | Working | October 13, 2014

(It’s quiet, so a coworker and I are doodling on scrap paper. I find a small stash of crayons.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], what should I draw?”

Coworker: “Oooh, draw [Manager]!”

Me: “Okay!”

(I proceed to draw a stick figure with my manager’s name on it. I pause for a second.)

Me: “I’m gonna have fun with this!”

(I proceed to write ‘[Manager] is a big mean poopy face’ under it. I then pin it to the bulletin board in the back. Later, I check by. My manager has left a note.)

Note: “[Manager] is not a big mean poopy face. Do not illustrate her as such. Thank you.”

Deaf To Reason, Part 5

| QLD, Australia | Right | October 12, 2014

Manager: “Can you please see that customer; he says he’s having trouble hearing his phone.”

Me: “Which is it, he can’t hear it or the sound isn’t working?”

Manager: “I’m not quite sure. Um, also… he’s deaf.”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “Please, you’re so good with these customers.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I head over and greet the customer and run a few basic checks on his mobile and immediately see the volume is working as it should.)

Me: “Well, sir, the volume appears to be working just fine, but you were having trouble hearing it, is that correct?”

Customer: “Oh, I can hear it just fine now. That’s no problem. But sometimes I like to go for a walk and when I do, I take my hearing aid out. Then I can’t hear it anymore! What do you suggest I do?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “…uh, I suggest you put your hearing aid back in?”

(The customer nods and looks at me expectantly, as if I have further advise to dispense.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I really can’t think of any other solution, under the circumstances.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I suppose that will have to do then!” *walks off looking quite dissatisfied*

Related:
Deaf To Reason, Part 4
Deaf To Reason, Part 3
Deaf To Reason, Part 2

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More Money Than Sense

| USA | Right | October 11, 2014

(As I am ringing up a customer, I begin asking her the standard questions that I’m required to ask as a cashier. She is buying a tablet.)

Me: “Would you like to add on a year of coverage to this in case it gets dropped or stops working?”

Customer: “No, it’s only $100. If it breaks, I’ll just get a new one.”

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