Beauty Is Only Emotion Deep

| Westminster, MD, USA | Uncategorized

(It’s my first day at work and I’m bagging for a coworker. An elderly man comes up to the register and blatantly stares at me.)

Customer: “You’re beautiful.”

Me: “Well, thank you!”

Customer: “But you have a mean look on your face.”

(I have no idea what he’s talking about. I’ve been doing nothing but smiling the entire time.)

Me: “I’m, sorry?”

Customer: “It’s okay. You have a beautiful face and a beautiful soul…and a beautiful aura. A very, very beautiful aura.”

Me: “Er, thank you?”

Customer: “But you just look so mean! Why can’t you look happy, beautiful?”

(This goes on for another few minutes before my coworker steps in to save me. I can’t wait to work tomorrow.)

Attack Of The Heart(less)

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Health & Body, Top

(A customer has just had a heart attack, and our staff is giving her CPR. Another customer approaches.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but could you move? I need the ink behind you guys.”

Me: “Sir, this lady is suffering a medical illness. I’m sorry for your inconvenience, but you will have to wait.”

Customer: “How dare you treat your customers like this?! I’ll never shop here again!”

Manager: *fed up* “[Competitor] is across the parking lot. Have a nice day.”

I’m Having My iPeriod

, | New Zealand | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi there, darling. Uh, I was wondering, do you have any pads?”

Me: “Do you mean iPads?”

Customer: “Yeah pads, iPads, whatever. Can you show me where they are?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Are you interested in the iPad or the iPad 2?”

Customer: “Wait…so, like, you use the iPad at day and the iPad 2 at night?”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 4

, | Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am shopping at a store I used to work at and am approached by several customers before I realize I am wearing the same blue/khaki colors as in their uniform. I am trying to find something when I am approached by an angry lady.)

Customer: “The TV you sold me isn’t working!”

Me: “I don’t work–”

Customer: “You have no idea what you’re talking about and sold me a horrible TV. I demand to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Fine, go find him.”

Customer: “Really? Is that how you’re going to handle this? Fine, I will!”

(I go back to shopping but watch her walk around to find my former manager. She returns with him in tow.)

Customer: “He’s the one that sold me the broken TV last week, and now he’s being rude. You need to do something about him.”

Manager: “Ma’am, he hasn’t worked here in almost a year. He–”

Customer: “I want him fired.”

Manager: “Uh, okay, you’re fired.”

Me: “Cool, see you later, man.”

Customer: *smug, evil look*

Me: *goes back to shopping*

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 3
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 2
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here

Because 8 Bajillion Signs Are Always The Answer, Part 2

, | Nebraska, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Your total will be [total price].”

Customer: “That seems a little high. Were the Imaginext items buy one, get one free?”

(I check the items and see if they’re scanning correctly in the register.)

Me: “Yes, they are, but you have 3 Imaginext items and one non-Imaginext item, so that won’t ring up on sale.”

Customer: “Well, they’re all in the same aisle!”

Me: “Well, yes, but just because one item is on sale doesn’t mean everything in the aisle is on sale as well.”

Customer: “Well, you should put that on your signs!”

Because 8 Bajillion Signs Are Always The Answer

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