Receipted All That Was Coming To Her

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a large retail store. A customer is just about to approach my register, when my counter phone rings. It is security.)

Security: “For this customer, just allow the return, then step away from my counter.”

(That is all they tell me. The customer then approaches.)

Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”

(The customer hands me an expensive bedding set.)

Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this, please.”

(I look at the receipt, and notice it was paid by cash.)

Me: “Okay, one moment, ma’am.”

(I process the return, give her the cash, and step away from my register as if to tidy shelves nearby. The customer walks away, and two minutes later my coworker from another department runs over and grabs me by the arm.)

Coworker: “What in the world just happened? Are you all right!?”

Me: “I’m fine. What’s going on?”

Coworker: “Security and the police just tackled your customer into the lingerie displays!”

(It turns out the customer was a scammer that would come in with just a receipt, pick up the item from the shelf that matched the receipt while a worker was busy, and then return the ‘bought’ item for cash. The customer had done this to 12 other stores before us. She was tackled when trying to run, after being confronted by the police.)

Following Instructions In A Manner Of Speaking

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

(I am finishing ringing up a sale for a customer. The final step on the signature pad is to confirm the transaction total.)

Me: “Okay, sir, just say ‘yes’ to confirm the total on the signature pad and I’ll get you your receipt.”

(The screen on the pad has two buttons: one reading ‘yes’ and one reading ‘no.’ The customer leans down with his mouth close to the pad and shouts…)

Customer: “YES!”

Will Have To Bite The Bullet

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I am working customer service at a big box store. A customer comes up with a box of bullets. Store policy and law states that ammunition cannot be returned for any reason. This is clearly printed on the bottom of the receipt, surrounded by a double box of asterisks.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to bring back these bullets; they’re the wrong caliber.”

(The customer hands me the receipt.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but all ammunition is non-refundable. It says right here—”

Customer: “No, I don’t want my money back; I just want to get the right ones.”

Me: “I understand, but we can’t take ammo back under any circumstances. It’s store policy and the law.”

Customer: “No, no, no! The guy who sold them to me said if they were the wrong size I could come back and exchange it!”

Me: “No, he didn’t. There are three signs in sporting goods that clearly say you cannot return ammo. On the ammo case, behind the counter, and taped to the counter itself. It’s also clearly marked here on the bottom of your receipt. There is no way any associate in this store would tell you such a thing because it is against the law.”

(The customer leans over on the counter, in my face.)

Customer: “Are you calling me a LIAR?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am.”

(Clearly not expecting that answer, the customer stumbles his words a bit.)

Customer: “So… so what? I’m out by $30 and stuck with bullets I can’t use?”

Me: “Yes, sir, you are.”

Customer: “F***!”

(He snatches the receipt from my hand, and his bag of ammo, and storms off.)