Subjective Job Satisfaction

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

(I’m a cashier ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay today?”

Customer: “Yep, it was fine.”

Me: *smiling* “That’s good.”

Customer: “You have a nice smile.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Customer: “You must be very happy.”

Me: “Usually.”

Customer: “I have a friend who is a stripper. You’re much happier than her.”

Me: *speechless* “Uh, thanks? You’re total is [total]. Have a nice day.”

Two Heads, Half A Brain

| Oshawa, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(Two teenage girls, about fifteen years old, are in my store trying to buy perfume. On the counter, there are two bottles of our store brand perfume beside each other. There is a small bottle and there is a large bottle.)

Me: “So, the large bottle is $25.00 and the small bottle is $15.00.”

Customer #1: “Which bottle is the small one?”

Me: *confused* “The smaller one of these two.”

Customer #1: “Oh…”

(The girls wander around the store and comment on how cute our sandals are.)

Me: “Our sandals are really nice. They’re actually buy one, get one half off.”

Customer #2: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You buy one pair of sandals, and you get the second pair half off.”

Customer #2: “Wait, what?!”

(The girl looks at me genuinely confused. At this point, I have no other way to explain buy one get one half off, so I just repeat what I said.)

Me: “You buy one pair of sandals, and you get the other for half the price.”

Customer #1: “I don’t understand…”

(The girls eventually give up. As they walk out of the store, I overhear them talking to each other.)

Customer #1, to Customer #2: “I don’t get what ‘Buy one, get one half off’ means!”

Sugar And Spice, Although Brains Might Be Nice

| Pickering, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

(The store I work in is a store full of little girls’ accessories. With headbands, nail polish, and necklaces, it’s fairly obvious this is a store for little girls.)

Me: “Hey there, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, do you have any little girls accessories?”

Me: “You’re in the right place.”

Customer: “Oh, good! Where would I find them?”

Me: *gestures* “Anywhere in the store.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The whole store is full of little girls’ accessories. That’s what [store] is all about.”

Customer: *somewhat ditzy* “Oh. Okay! Thank you. Goodbye!”

(I watch as the customer prances off into the mall and goes straight into another girls accessory store.)

Coworker: “Wow.”

Them’s The Kakes

| Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

(The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

Additional Charge For Unlimited Sexism Plan

| Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Technology

Me: “Good afternoon! Welcome to [store name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “My phone’s not working, and your service is crap.”

Me: “Well, I’d be more than happy to help you. Sorry for your inconvenience.”

Customer: “Just fix the d*** thing and stop talking!”

Me: *shocked* “Yes, sir.”

(After a few minutes of testing his device, I figure out the problem is that the phone simply has not been charged.)

Me: “Sir, your phone is dead. It needs to be charged. That’s why you weren’t able to place a call or turn the device on.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “I am the manager, sir.”

Customer: “But you’re a woman!”

Me: “Yes, sir, last time I checked, I was.”

Customer: *very condescendingly* “Your place is in the kitchen. I want to speak with a male!”

Me: *speechless*

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