Jellyfishing For Giggles

| USA | Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work third shift as a cashier in a major retail chain. To keep everything running smoothly, all third shift cashiers are trained for running the service desk and answering the phone. It is spring break and there has been an increase of prank phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [large retail store]; how may I assist you?”

Caller: *giggling and unintelligible gibberish*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”

Me: *deadpan voice* “No, this is Patrick.”

Caller: *fits of laughter* “Thank you! You made my night!”

New Degrees Of Stupidity

| WA, USA | Canada, Math & Science

(I work in a clothing store at an outlet mall where we get a lot of Canadian customers. It was particularly cold on the day this occurred. Two teenage girls walk into my store.)

Me: “Hey, how are you girls doing this morning? Are you staying warm?”

Girl #1: “We’re trying!”

Me: “When I came into the store from my car this morning, it was 18 degrees! That’s FREEZING!”

Girl #1: “Yeah it is… Wait, how did you know we were from Canada?”

Me: “…I didn’t…”

Girl #1: “But how did you know we needed Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?”

Me: “Uh… that was Fahrenheit.”

Girl #2: *laughs at her friend* “Wow! Now this girl probably thinks we’re stupid! Good job!”

No Common Scents

| North Riverside, IL, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body

(I work at a store that specializes in body-care; lotions, perfumes, shower gel, all that good smelling stuff. I’m at the register, and three customers come up to check out.)

Me: “Hi ladies, did you find everything you were looking for today?”

(All three of them ignore me for the most part, save for some brief nods. Eventually, as I’m ringing up their purchase, they start talking amongst themselves about their purchases.)

Customer #1: “What fragrance is this?”

Customer #2: “It’s Pink Chiggon; it says right on the label!”

Customer #1: “Chiggon? I can’t read that!”

Customer #2: “It’s right there on the label, girl!”

Customer #3: “It’s not Chiggon, it’s CHITTOF.”

Customer #1: “Chittof?”

Customer #3: “Yea!”

(All this time, I’ve been ringing them up in silence and ever-growing amusement. Finally, I decide to pipe up.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s Pink Chiffon.”

All Three: “That’s what I said!”