The Cake Buyer Is A Lie

| MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I work in the deli right beside the bakery. I witness an exchange between a customer and the bakery supervisor.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to pick up a cake order. It should be under [name].”

Supervisor: “Sure, let me go get it.”

(She goes into the cooler to retrieve the cake, and brings it out to the customer.)

Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am. Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh, by the way, I already paid for the cake when I ordered it. So I can just walk out with it, right?”

Supervisor: “Well, I don’t see a receipt with your order slip ma’am. Do you happen to have one with you? We usually ask for the receipt to be returned to us so that we know you paid for it.”

Customer: “No! No one told me that I had to do that! But I already paid for it!”

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but everyone who works here knows that we always ask for a receipt to be returned to us. If you don’t have a receipt, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this now.”

Customer: “I told you that I already paid for this cake!”

(The customer waves a slip of paper in the air.)

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, that paper you’re waving around just means we took your order. It does not mean that you paid for it.”

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS! IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH!”

Supervisor: “That slip of paper just means you placed an order with us. It doesn’t prove that you already paid for your cake. Anyone who places an order with us could bring that slip of paper back, lie and say they already paid for their order. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but I can’t just let you leave with this cake without proof of purchasing it.”

Customer: *leaves in a huff without the cake*

Related:
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2

Declawing The Villains

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

(A customer and her five-year-old son enter the store.)

Me: “Hi, is there anything you’re looking for today?”

Little Boy: “I know what that means!”

Me: “…what, what means?”

Little Boy: “That!”

(The boy points at the pins on my lanyard.)

Little Boy: “That’s Dr Claw’s sign! You like Inspector Gadget!”

Me: “You are the first person to know that.”

Little Boy: “Claw is a silly name. If Dr Claw ever bothers you, I’ll punch him.”

Me: “Thanks, kid. That’s sweet.”

Jellyfishing For Giggles

| USA | Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work third shift as a cashier in a major retail chain. To keep everything running smoothly, all third shift cashiers are trained for running the service desk and answering the phone. It is spring break and there has been an increase of prank phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [large retail store]; how may I assist you?”

Caller: *giggling and unintelligible gibberish*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”

Me: *deadpan voice* “No, this is Patrick.”

Caller: *fits of laughter* “Thank you! You made my night!”