A Slight Blip On The Double-Dip

, | Baltimore ,MD, USA | Right | December 18, 2014

(A customer comes into the store and orders a large amount of building supplies to build a shed. She is helped and checked out by me. Her brother comes for the items a few hours later, and I load them up. She calls back the next day.)

Customer: “Hello. I’m coming to pick up my order today, and just want to make sure it’s ready.”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. What is the name and phone number attached to the order? ”

Customer: “It’s [Name] and [phone number].”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it appears your order was already picked up by your brother.”

Customer: “What? My brother? I don’t have a brother. Someone stole my merchandise!”

(When she placed her order with me, she told me her brother’s name and that he would be picking it up. This was listed on her order at the time of purchase by me.)

Me: “Hmm. No brother?”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager! I’m an only child!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not going to do that for you.”

Customer: “What…?”

Me: “See, when I first answered the phone I stated my name. When running this double dip scam in the future, please note the name of the person you’re dealing with. I not only helped you with the purchase and rang you up. I also loaded your brother’s truck with the merchandise. [Brother’s Name]. I also checked his id, first and last name. I hope this is all clear as I would hate to repeat myself and waste any more of my time.”

Customer: “I… what is your name?!”

Me: “We here at [Store] thank you for your business and your continued support. Please do not hesitate to shop again with us. And can you do me a favor?”

Customer: “…what?”

Me: “Have a lovely day.”

(Her brother returned the next day to return the merchandise. He was denied.)

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35

| USA | Right | December 17, 2014

(As an employee at the store I work at, it is part of my job to ask our customers if they’d like to apply for a store credit card. A customer in her twenties comes through my line.)

Me: “Would you like to save [percent] by applying for a [Store] charge card?”

Customer: “Sure!”

(The applications go through our computer and the customer is immediately approved and a paper prints out with the credit limit and card number.)

Me: “Okay, it looks like you were approved today! You should get your [Store] card in the mail within the next two weeks. If you would like to put your purchase on your card today, it would save you another [percent]. Would you like to put it on the card? You can even pay it off in the store after we’re done.”

Customer: “Sure.”

(We put the purchase on the card and everything goes smoothly until the end.)

Me: “Okay, and would you like to pay your card off today or would you like to wait until you get your statement in the mail?”

Customer: “What? I have to pay for it twice?”

Me: “No, you haven’t actually paid for it yet. You put it on the store charge card.”

Customer: “Yeah, so why do I have to pay for it again?”

Me: “The store charge card is just like any other credit card. It has to be paid for after you use it.”

Customer: “What’s a credit card?”

 

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Fired Before You’re Hired

| WI, USA | Right | December 17, 2014

(I’m at a very large store with my mother. While she is getting some groceries, I wander to the electronics area. I hadn’t realized that I was wearing a shirt similar colored to the ones the employees wear, and a keychain around my neck. I heard a customer asking someone for help for some while, but I obviously had nothing to do with it.)

Customer: *angrily storms up to right beside me* “EXCUSE ME!

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: *visibly irritated and switching a baby from hip to hip* “I’ve been trying to get your help for the past two minutes! I need you to open up the games’ case!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I actua—”

Customer: *begins yelling* “WHO THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! ARE ALL OF THE PEOPLE AT [STORE] REALLY THAT F****** STUPID AND LAZY?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t w—”

Customer: “I want to see your manager! He NEEDS to know that you’re just lazying about, refusing to help those who PAY your bills!”

Me: “See, that’s impossible because I actually work at—”

(The customer angrily storms off and I just sort of shrug it off. I continue browsing and start to make my way over to back by my mom a few minutes later when the enraged customer and an obvious employee come over.)

Customer: “Yeah! This is the f****** lazy dumb-a** who was refusing to help me!”

Employee: *annoyed* “Where’s your name tag? What’s your name?”

Me: *fed up* “I don’t work here!”

Customer: “Yeah, not anymore you lazy b****! You’re too stupid to even work at [Store]!”

Employee: “Which department are you because I want to speak with the department manager about their negligence in supervision!”

(At this time, my mom came around because I’d been taking so long, and she gets pulled into the argument. It took fifteen minutes and the electronics department manager before they told me to ‘just not come in for the next shift.’ I got fired from a job I never had.)

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A Non-Dairy Date For Your Diary

| WA, USA | Working | December 17, 2014

(We’re having a little party at work because a few of my coworkers are leaving at the same time while some of my other coworkers are being promoted. One of my coworkers is vegan so we bought vegan cupcakes for everyone.)

Coworker #1: “Man, I’ve never had vegan cupcakes before. They’re pretty good.”

(Coworkers #2 and #3 nod in agreement.)

Coworker #1: “Its almost like, I don’t know, weird knowing that was my first time. It’s like they—”

Coworker #2: “THEY TOOK YOUR VEGINITY!”

Coworker #1: “…I was going to say ‘they popped my vegan cherry’ but that works, too.”

Coworker #3: “Well, cherries are vegan, so popping it wouldn’t work in this context.”

Instructions Aren’t So Clear

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Working | December 16, 2014

(While we’re being checked out, an item buzzes. The register clearly displays the error, ‘BUFFER FULL – PRESS CLEAR.’)

Cashier: “Huh. This isn’t working.”

(She slowly reads the message, then ignores it and tries again without pressing clear. Same buzz, same error. So she tries again. And again. And again.)

Wife: “It’s saying, ‘Buffer full – press clear.'”

Cashier: “Yeah, that happens sometimes. Don’t worry, it’ll take.”

(She tries it again. And again. And again.)

Me: “You know, maybe just in case it helps, try pressing clear?”

(She does. The error message goes away. The item rings up just fine.)

Cashier: “Huh. He’s pretty bright, for a gentleman.”

Wife: *under her breath* “Yeah, he’s been reading for years now…”

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