Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2

| Flemington, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am a cashier at a retail store, keeping an eye on the self-checkout area. I am not supposed to ring up customers on the machines, only assist whenever there’s a problem. A woman comes up to me with a few items.)

Customer: “Hi, you need to ring me up.”

Me: “This is the self-checkout. The ladies over there would be happy to take you if you don’t want to use the machines.”

Customer: “This is self-checkout?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, I hate these self-check things. Can’t you just ring me up at that register there?”

(She points at a computer monitor, lying on the floor near the garbage cans, with a large crack easily visible across the screen. I think she’s joking but realize she’s serious.)

Me: “Um. No, I can’t, sorry. If you don’t want to use the self-checkout, the cashiers right behind us can—”

Customer: “Why can’t you ring me up at that register?!”

Me: “Well, because that’s not a register, ma’am.”

Customer: “You don’t call that thing over there a register?”

Me: “Nope, I call that a broken computer monitor.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register

Doesn’t Have The Math Jeans

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(A customer is trying to exchange a pair of jeans. My coworker notices he will be getting some money back.)

Coworker: “Sir, this pair of jeans is less than the pair you bought earlier, so I will give you the cash back.”

Customer: “That’s it! Give me my d*** pants back! I don’t want to deal with this s*** anymore!”

(My coworker looks stunned at the guy’s outburst.)

Coworker: “But sir, you’ll be getting money back!”

Customer: “I don’t care! Just give me my d*** pants back! Or explain it to me; I don’t understand this!”

Coworker: “Well sir, this pair—”

Customer: “Just give me the d*** pants! You guys always do s*** like this; you just lost a good customer!”

(The customer grabs the pants and storms towards the doors. As he leaves, a second customer stars applauding, and yells after him.)

Customer #2: “Sure doesn’t sound like it!”

The Cake Buyer Is A Lie

| MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I work in the deli right beside the bakery. I witness an exchange between a customer and the bakery supervisor.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to pick up a cake order. It should be under [name].”

Supervisor: “Sure, let me go get it.”

(She goes into the cooler to retrieve the cake, and brings it out to the customer.)

Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am. Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh, by the way, I already paid for the cake when I ordered it. So I can just walk out with it, right?”

Supervisor: “Well, I don’t see a receipt with your order slip ma’am. Do you happen to have one with you? We usually ask for the receipt to be returned to us so that we know you paid for it.”

Customer: “No! No one told me that I had to do that! But I already paid for it!”

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but everyone who works here knows that we always ask for a receipt to be returned to us. If you don’t have a receipt, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this now.”

Customer: “I told you that I already paid for this cake!”

(The customer waves a slip of paper in the air.)

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, that paper you’re waving around just means we took your order. It does not mean that you paid for it.”

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS! IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH!”

Supervisor: “That slip of paper just means you placed an order with us. It doesn’t prove that you already paid for your cake. Anyone who places an order with us could bring that slip of paper back, lie and say they already paid for their order. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but I can’t just let you leave with this cake without proof of purchasing it.”

Customer: *leaves in a huff without the cake*

Related:
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2