Stupidity Can Accumulate

, | ON, Canada | Right | July 7, 2014

(I am working as a cashier. A customer comes up with a large order, which I ring up.)

Me: “All right, sir, your total comes to $2000.”

(The customer swipes his card and enters his account information and pin. It’s declined.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, your card was declined.”

Customer: “No, it wasn’t! I have lots of money in this account! Try it again!”

(I try it again. Again it’s declined.)

Me: “Did you mean to hit chequing? If you meant to use your savings account, that could be why it’s declined.”

Customer: “No, I only use my chequing account!”

Me: “Well, do you have a daily limit? Some banks have that set up, so you can only spend a certain amount each day.”

Customer: “Yes, I have a $500 daily limit.”

Me: “This transaction is for $2000, sir. That’s a lot more than $500.”

Customer: “But I haven’t used this card in three days!”

Me: “It’s a DAILY limit. It resets every day.”

(I didn’t feel like explaining that, even if it was cumulative, that still wouldn’t have equaled $2000.)

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Paying Dearly

| AR, USA | Right | July 7, 2014

(I am working my second day as a cashier when an elderly customer walks up with a bundle of bananas and a drink.)

Me: “Hello, sir, and welcome to [Store]. Would you like me to match the price of these bananas, dear?”

Customer #1: “No, godd*** it!”

Me: “Okay. Not a problem. I apologize. Would like to donate anything to [Charity We Support]? ”

Customer #1: *turns away and mutters something*

Me: “Was that a yes or…”

Customer #1: “READ MY LIPS. NO. N.O. CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND SIMPLE ENGLISH, YOU D*** BIMBO?!”

Me: *all smiles* “I’m so sorry, sir. Not a problem.”

Customer #1: “I am so f****** tired of your s***, you little b****! The people here are so godd*** stupid. Quite smiling. Your job f****** sucks.”

(He walks off cursing under his breath.)

Me: *turning to the next customer* “Hello, dear. How ar—”

Customer #1: *rushing back* “And don’t call people dear, you little tramp! I’m old enough to be your d*** grandfather and she’s a woman, you f****** lesbian!”

(At this point, I’m almost in tears because it’s my second day ever and I’ve had nothing but positive responses all day. My current customer speaks up.)

Customer #2: “Don’t listen to that old b******, honey. You’re doing great and can call me whatever you like. Now, how much can I donate to that charity you were askin’ about?”

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Siamese Cats

| MA, USA | Working | July 6, 2014

(An older couple who cannot speak any English come into my store. They are on the phone with their daughter, who can speak English, and hand my manager the phone.)

Manager: “How do you say hello in their language so I can say hi to them?”

Caller: “Ni-hao.”

Manager: *to customers* “Meeeoww.”

(I turned six different shades of red, tried not to laugh, and corrected her. This is NOT the first time she’s done something like this. When we have an extra percent off clearance she tells people ‘venti cinco percent’ or she tries to speak Portuguese.)

How To Say Nothing In Many Words

| Wales, UK | Working | July 6, 2014

(I’d previously pre-ordered ‘Thief 4’ from Amazon, but switched to a competitor when I found out that they were offering a 10% discount on PS4 preorders. However, when I checked my pre-order a few days later, I found that their page (and my order) were listing the release date as a whole month later than everyone else. After confirming that the release date hadn’t changed, and was the same on every other website, I call them.)

Me: “The general release date is at the end of February, which several sources, including other retailers and the publisher’s website, confirm. However, the page and the order details say that my copy won’t be dispatched until the end of March. Is this an error of some sort?”

Employee: “Thank you for getting in touch with us about your pre-order. We send all pre-ordered items out as soon as we receive them into our warehouse from the manufacturers. We always endeavour to have pre-orders delivered to our customers on, if not before, the release date. If there is anything else that we can do, then please do not hesitate to get in touch and a member of our team will be happy to help.”

Me: “Thank you. However, that didn’t answer my question. Every other website, and the game’s publisher as well as PSN and Steam, state that the game will be released on the 28th February, but my order and the page give the release date as over a month later on the 31st March. Is that actually when my order will be shipped and, if so, why will it take a month longer than its official release date?”

Employee: “We update the webpage with the date we are given by the manufacturer. I will follow this up with our trading team and as soon as I have received a reply I will be in touch. If there is anything else that we can do, then please do not hesitate to get in touch and a member of our team will be happy to help.”

(Sure enough, a few hours later…)

Employee: “It’s been confirmed that the release we have currently on site is correct from the manufacturer. If there is anything else that we can do, then please do not hesitate to get in touch and a member of our team will be happy to help.”

(After checking once again that the game was still out on the 28th February  – including searching for news on a change of release date – I gave up and cancelled my preorder.)

Can’t Get Nicotine From A Teen

| Grand Forks, ND, USA | Right | July 6, 2014

Cashier: “Hello, sir. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Do you always talk to your customers like that? How rude!”

Cashier: “Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry to have upset you. Was there something I can grab for you today?”

Customer: “Shut up. Just shut up! I just want [Cigarette Brand] and that is all. Can you do that?!”

(By this time, the cashier was turning his back away from the customer to search for the item. He hid his face from the rude man, and asked what the box looked like.)

Customer: “How dare you turn your back to me, boy! Hey, are you listening to me?”

Cashier: “Sorry, sir, I am looking for your cigarettes.”

Customer: “Well, hurry up, then! Jeez, don’t you know what they look like?”

Cashier: “Well, no, sir. I do not. I am afraid I do not smoke, so could you tell me a little more about the pro—”

Customer: “It’s the smallest box there! Hurry up, I’ve not got all day!! Typical of [Store], always hiring foolish, stupid kids on a department they have no knowledge of. Look, it’s grey, if that helps you at all. God d***, kid, hurry the h*** up!”

(I come over to assist our cashier. The customer is leering over the counter and the cashier is slightly going through a bit of a panicked frenzy.)

Me: “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “Your dumb-a** associate doesn’t know what his smokes are and I am upset that you chose to hire him. Your foolish management and your stupid associates can’t do anything right! I am out of here!”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that, sir, but—”

(Before I can say another word, the customer storms out of the store, not looking back once. I quickly open up the gate to greet the cashier to assure him the customer is gone.)

Me: “Hey, hey now. No worries, the guy is gone. Are you okay?”

Cashier: “I think so…”

Me: “He was just angry because it’s a Monday. You’re all right.”

Cashier: “I suppose so.”

Me: “So, what happened?”

(The cashier then told me everything that happened, and I felt bad so I treated him to a coffee. But that was not the only thing bothering him.)

Me: “Well, what could possibly be wrong that you are a bit unaware of the kinds of cigarettes out here?”

Cashier: “It’s not so much that I don’t know all of them. I know some, but I never smoke. But it doesn’t help describing the color to me…”

Me: “Why is that?”

Cashier: “I’m colorblind.”

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