No Sale Means No Sale

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Working | May 23, 2014

(I enter a jewellery and accessories store to purchase cheap jewellery for a craft project. There are jewellery sale signs plastered everywhere advertising 30% off. I choose a pair of earrings and take them to the cashier.)

Me: “Hi. Can you please tell me how much these are with the discount.”

Cashier: “Those aren’t on sale.”

Me: “But I got them from under the sale sign.”

Cashier: “No. Only those in that cabinet are on sale.” *points to one small cabinet on opposite side of the wall*

Me: “But the signs are everywhere, stating all jewellery is discounted. It’s not legal.”

Cashier: “Sorry, it’s my first day and I keep getting complaints. I’ve called the owner so many times. She refuses to do anything because she says that only the items in that cabinet are jewellery and everything else in the shop is accessories.”

Me: “Okay. Not your fault, but I won’t be buying today on principle”.

Lost And Hopeless In Translation

| Cancun, Mexico | Working | May 22, 2014

(I am on vacation in Mexico with my family. I speak decent Spanish; my brother speaks broken Spanish. A pretty woman in her mid-twenties runs the souvenir stand at our resort. While my brother goes to look at her merchandise, I overhear her offering to help him practice his Spanish. The entire conversation takes place in Spanish.)

Saleswoman: *obviously flirting* “What is your name?”

Brother: *concentrating too hard on his Spanish to notice the flirting* “My name is [Brother].”

Saleswoman: “What a nice name! Where are you from?”

Brother: “Um… I am from [Hometown].”

Saleswoman: “And how old are you?”

Brother: “I am… um… 15 years old.”

Saleswoman: *laughing* “No, you need to learn your numbers better. Count it out so you get it right.”

Brother: *counting in Spanish and on his fingers*  “11, 12, 13 ,14, 15. Yeah! 15!”

Saleswoman: *face falling* “15?”

Brother: “15!”

(He couldn’t figure out why I was laughing.)

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Crazily Honest

| USA | Right | May 21, 2014

(The store I work at is about a block from a mental health services office. We often see their clients in the store and know that some can be a bit eccentric.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

Customer: “Not bad for a crazy guy but as long as I take my meds, I’m okay.”

Me: “Well, there’s something to be said for honesty…”

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Comic: A Heady Proposition

| Pennsylvnia, USA | Right | May 21, 2014

The Perfect Answer

| Newark, DE, USA | Right | May 20, 2014

(Two customers come into my store.)

Me: “Hey, guys, if you have any questions just let me know.”

Customer #1: “What’s the capital of Bolivia?”

Me: “That’s one I don’t know off the top of my head.”

Customer #1: “You said any question!”

Me: “Yeah, I did, but I never said I’d have the answer.”

Customer #2: *looks at customer #1* “That’s true, she didn’t say she’d have the answer.”

Customer #1: “D*** it!”

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