I Can Be Anything I Want

, | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

(I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s six.”

See this story as a comic!

Size Matters, Part 2

| Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m working at the dressing room of a Halloween store. A rather large woman comes up to me to try on a few costumes. All of them sized medium. Now, costumes run small, so these costumes are dress-size 6-8. I don’t say anything to her, even though I know they won’t fit.)

Customer: “Hey, I like this one, but none of them fit.”

Me: “Well, it looks like we do have them in a large, so if you’d like me to go get it for you–”

Customer: “No, I don’t want a large. I just want a bigger costume.”

Me: “Yes, but the only bigger costumes we have are size large. Halloween costumes tend to run pretty small, so–”

Customer: “Are you listening? I don’t want a large. I just want a bigger costume.”

Me: “Ma’am, the next size up is–”

Customer: “You know what? Screw this. This store is terrible. I am never coming back here!” *storms off*

Size Matters

And The Picture Becomes Clear

, | Paris, France | Technology

(The customer arrives very angry at my desk. He nervously holds a memory card in his hand.)

Customer: “I want a new memory card. This one is really bad!”

Me: “What troubles do you have with this one?”

Customer: “It only makes blurry pictures!”

Me: “Well, I guess the problem might be the camera, not the memory card.”

Customer: “Oh, and do you have memory cards in black & white?”

Me: “Or it could be the photographer…”

Stop And Stair, Part 4

| New York, USA | Extra Stupid

(A customer comes up to me. They ask for directions, which I begin to provide.)

Me: “Take the elevators at the south end. There should be signs along the way. You’ll pass [store name] and [store name].”

Customer: “Take what?”

Me: “Elevator…they’re also known as lifts.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Um, how do you normally get to higher floors?”

Customer: “I walk up the stairs or stand on moving stairs.”

Me: “Do you ever go inside a box and press numbers?”

Customer: “What is that?” *looks bewildered*

Me: “Maybe I should take you to the elevators.”

Customer: “Okay?”

(I take her to the elevators. They are glass.)

Customer: “So, I get inside and press the floor number?”

Me: “Yes.”

(At this moment, another elevator goes down at a normal speed with people inside.)

Customer: *frightened* “No! This is a drop tower! I want the stairs.”

Me: “Um, it’s not fast. It’s safe.”

Customer: “No! Stairs please!”

Stop And Stair, Part 3
Stop And Stair, Part 2
Stop And Stair

A Dogged Sense Of Humor

| Cochrane, Alberta, Canada | At The Checkout

(A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)

Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs huh?”

Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”

Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”

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