We Prefer Hipsters Over Hellcats

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Top, Wild & Unruly

(A customer comes over to the small cosmetic service station that I am posted at. All the while, she’s talking on her phone and sounds quite upset.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: *to phone* “Sorry, got go.” *hangs up*

Me: “Ma’am—”

Customer: “SHUT UP YOU, D*** HIPSTER!”

(Note: I’m wearing prescription Ray Bans and have a eyebrow piercing.)

Me: “Uhm—”

Customer: “You heard me the first time! Not another word! You probably don’t even need those glasses!”

(Without warning, the customer rips the glasses from my face. She throws them on the ground, shattering the lenses.)

Me: “Oh my God!”

Customer: “Look! You are fine!”

(My coworker comes over to see what all the commotion is about.)

Coworker: “What is going on?”

Customer: “This b**** was trying to look like a hipster!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, she actually needed those to see. Now get out before I call security!”

Customer: “F*** you! F***ing hipsters taking over!”

(Enraged, the customer grabs a makeup display, tips it over, and starts throwing around items from a nearby shelf. Security rushes over and takes her out of the store while she screams profanities. The total damage cost is over $200 worth of products, not including my glasses.)

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You Drive Me (Really) Crazy

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

(We have a large television that plays about 8 different music videos on repeat and are usually some bubblegum pop bands.)

Customer: “Dear, you know that TV over there playing all of that music?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Customer: “IT MAKES ME WANT TO STAB SOMEONE!”

Psychos Are Crazy Precise

| USA | Language & Words

(I sell jewelry at a major department store. A foreign customer comes in wanting to see some merchandise at my watch counter.)

Customer: “I want to see a Psycho!”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I want to see a Psycho!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not quite comprehending.”

(He points to the watches inside my counter.)

Me: “Oh, you want to see a Seiko!”

Weekend Roundup: Attack Of The Tax!

, , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!

  1. War Can Be Taxing:
    The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
  2. Taxation With Agitation:
    It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
  3. Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
    We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
  4. Taxing Customers:
    However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
  5. Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
    Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

They Grow Up So Fast, Part 2

| California, USA | Family & Kids

(I am working one night in the children’s department. An older man approaches me about buying clothes for his son. Normally, the children’s department only carries clothes for infants, toddlers, and elementary school aged kids.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’m looking for some clothes for my son. Is there anything you would recommend?”

Me: “The skate and surf wear brands are very popular. Would you like to have a look?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I show him around and let him shop for a few minutes. He later approaches me.)

Customer: “I’m not sure if these clothes will fit my son. Is it okay if we return them in case they don’t fit?”

Me: “Of course. Just making sure, how old is your son?”

Customer: “18.”

Me: “18 months?”

Customer: “No, 18 years.”

Me: “Sir, this area is primarily for infants and toddlers. You’ll want to look in the young men’s department.”

Customer: “Are you sure, miss?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’m positive.”

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They Grow Up So Fast

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