I used to work in a superstore. One day, I watched one of my favourite staff members get taken out in handcuffs.

She had been taking price tags off of clearance items, putting them on normally priced items, and hiding the clearance items under low shelving. Management figured her out, but they let her keep going until it reached the point that they could charge her for it.

She was fired and charged with some level of larceny, and I never saw her again.

I’m a cashier where I work, so you can imagine all the crap I deal with on a daily basis. It’s not a physically demanding job, but it is extremely taxing mentally. One thing I deal with on a pretty regular basis is customers expecting more of me than I’m able to provide — not so much because I don’t know certain things but because I’ll be reprimanded if I do.

The other day at work, I had just rung up a customer when I greeted another one who came in. He immediately came up to me holding something. He didn’t greet me back.

Customer: “Where can I find another one of these?”

Me: “I don’t recognize that; what is it?”

The man’s head jerked back and he looked at me like I had asked him a stupid question.

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

I blinked.

Me: “Um, because I’ve never seen that before? But if you tell me what it is, I can get someone—”

Customer: *Interrupting* “I’m asking you. It’s your job to know this stuff to help customers.”

I raised my eyebrows (a natural reaction, I can’t help it) and slowly corrected him.

Me: “No, sir. It’s not my job to know. My job is to ring up customers at my register and occasionally look up items missing barcodes. Now, if you tell me what that is—” *points to the thing in his hand* “—I can get someone whose job it is to know and where to find it.”

At first, the customer looked like he was about to give a half-baked rebuttal but thought better of it. He apologized and told me what the thing was: part of a toilet that he needed to replace. I called a plumbing specialist on the work phone and she told me exactly where it was. I told the customer the aisle she said it was down, and he walked off without another word, not even a thank-you.

I have a five-year-old girl who is best of friends with my neighbors’ daughter. The two are inseparable. My wife bought our daughter a toy a few weeks ago as a reward for doing all her chores and being awarded “Student Of The Week” in her kindergarten class. She immediately took it over to the neighbor’s house, and the two girls loved to play with it. It’s one of those toys that come with accessories, slime, stickers, etc.

Since then, this particular toy has been featured on a very popular morning talk show and is now pretty hard to find. My daughter’s friend’s birthday is the day after Thanksgiving, and my daughter asked me if we could buy her best friend the same toy as her gift. We couldn’t say no to her request for her best friend, so we started looking online to see if we could find one. After a few days of no luck, a very popular big box store had some in stock at a store about thirty minutes away. I hit the road to try and get my hands on one before they were all gone.

This is what happened when I got there, and I still can’t believe it happened.

I got to the store, grabbed a shopping cart because I was going to grab a couple of other things while I was there, and walked straight to the toy department. I looked around for a few minutes before I finally saw the toy I was after. There was only one left, so I grabbed it and put it in my cart. I was so glad I finally found one. I started to walk away to continue shopping when I heard a voice behind me.

Woman: “Um, excuse me, but that toy was mine. I put it down and was coming right back for it. Do you mind?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I have been looking for this toy as a gift for a very special little girl, and it was on the shelf, so I’m sorry, but no. I’m going to buy it.”

She instantly shot daggers at me with her eyes.

Woman: “Excuse me?! I was here first and I need it more than you. I have a customer that ordered it and I need it now, so please hand it over.”

That’s when it struck me: she was a reseller and had promised something she didn’t have.

Me: “Oh, well, that’s not my problem, but maybe they have more in the back. You should ask someone that works here.”

I went about my way to finish my shopping. As I was walking away, the woman snipped:

Woman: “You’re a real jerk, you know that?”

Me: *Sarcastically* “Maybe, but I got what I came for. Have an awesome day.”

And I walked away. I made my way to the laundry detergent aisle and quickly forgot about the woman. A few minutes later, as I grabbed some detergent and dryer sheets, I stopped to check what else was on my list, and the same woman entered the aisle.

Woman: “Ugh, there you are. Listen. I asked an employee, and they said there aren’t any in the back and they don’t know when more are coming in. I would appreciate it if you would do the right thing and just give the toy back to me before I find a manager and tell them you took it out of my hands.”

Me: “Huh? What are you talking about? This toy was on the shelf and nobody else was around when I picked it up, so please leave me alone. You can’t have it and that’s it.”

I tried to walk out of the aisle when this woman stepped in front of my cart, reached into my cart, and tried to take the toy. I quickly pulled the cart back.

Me: “What is your problem, lady? Get away from me.”

Then, she tried again, but this time I put my hand on the toy before she could grab it. She then dug her nails into my arm before I smacked her hand away with a loud:

Me: “WHAT THE F***, LADY?! GET AWAY FROM ME!”

This is when the woman went into overdrive. She instantly started screaming for help at the top of her lungs.

Woman: “HELP! HELP! HE’S ATTACKING ME! HELP ME, SOMEBODY!”

Naturally, a bunch of people quickly came over to see what was going on, and there I was, a 6’3” man with tattoos and a shaved head and beard standing there as she threw herself on the floor screaming for help. I thought to myself, “This is going to end badly for me.”

Two employees were a couple of aisles over and came running. Now there were a few people and the employees looking at this woman on the ground pleading for help and screaming for someone to call the police. The employee asked what happened while helping her up from the floor and she immediately lied.

Woman: “He attacked me and took items from my cart!”

Me: “This crazy lady is lying! She attacked me, and then she threw herself on the floor to get me in trouble.”

A manager showed up and asked what had happened while the woman was standing there with crocodile tears saying I had assaulted her over “her toy”. I quickly denied the false accusation and demanded the police be called. The manager had the police called and I waited right there. The lady had a crowd of people around her, consoling her, and they were all looking at me like I was some sort of woman beater. All the while, she was telling everyone around her what a monster I was and that she intended to press full charges against me for assault.

After ten or fifteen minutes, two police officers showed up and started to ask questions about what had happened. I explained what had happened from beginning to end, and she told her twisted fairy tale. The officers asked if the security cameras had a shot of the area. We were escorted to the manager’s office, and while one officer reviewed the footage with the manager, the other officer asked for our IDs and stepped out of the office — more than likely to do a warrant check, I assumed.

This is when glorious Karma showed up.

After a couple of minutes of the officer reviewing the camera footage and her continued lies about what happened, the officer asked the woman:

Officer #1: “Ma’am, I’m only going to ask this once. Would you like to change your story about what happened?”

I instantly smiled from ear to ear.

Woman: “What are you talking about? He attacked me and I want him arrested!”

Officer #1: “Ma’am, that’s not happening.” *To me* “Do you want to press charges for assault, sir?”

Me: “F*** YES!”

The woman went pale as a ghost. She went on a tirade. Just then, the second officer came back into the office, handed me back my ID, whispered something to the other officer, and then asked the woman to stand up and put her hands behind her back. They arrested her for an outstanding felony warrant along with an assault charge.

What an awesome outcome. The manager apologized to me for all the trouble as the woman was led out of the office in cuffs. The officer photographed the scratches on my arm for evidence, gave me a copy of the report for court, and wished me a nice rest of my day. The manager even gave me a $50 gift card that I used to pay for my purchase, and I went about my merry way.

All this over a toy and self-entitlement.

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A lady comes in with an air conditioner.

Customer: “I bought this three years ago, and now I want to return it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our return period is only ninety days.”

She starts fake crying.

Customer: “But I’ve been in the hospital!”

Me: “For three years?”

The poor, sad old lady disappears and Mega Entitlement Queen emerges.

Customer: “MANAGER! NOW!

Me: “Well, that was a short pity party. Sorry, not sorry.”

Our location is closing in a few days. There are only three of us currently working: me, a coworker, and the manager. This particular coworker and manager have known each other for years, so she is the favorite. She is complaining about our location closing. I’m sorting old paperwork for shredding.

Coworker: “I should just walk out.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Coworker: “I’m serious. I’ll quit today!”

She’s been threatening this ever since they told us we were closing. The only way to get her to stop is to acknowledge her every so often until she runs out of steam.

Me: “Mhm.”

Coworker: “Everyone is telling me to stick it out. What if I want to walk out, huh? No one can stop me.”

Me: “That’s true.”

Coworker: “Thank you! It’s nice to have some support.”

I give her a thumbs-up and return to my shred pile.

Boss: *From across the lobby* “[Coworker]! Cut it out.”

Coworker: “Why? It’s true. I should leave and never come back.”

Boss: “THEN DO IT!”

Coworker: “What?!”

Boss: “You’ve been saying the same thing for weeks. If you’re not gonna leave, then shut your mouth!”

Coworker: “I’ll do it. Watch me.”

Boss: “Good! Then [My Name] and I can get our work done in peace!”

Me: “Do I need to separate you two?”

Coworker & Boss: “NO!”

Me: “As long as you don’t mind having an audience.”

We have a small popcorn machine for customers, and I’ve just popped a fresh batch. I head over to it, scoop myself a bag, and return to my paperwork pile while snacking on my popcorn. They are still shouting at each other.

Coworker: “Well, [Boss], if you feel that way about it, I QUIT!”

Boss: “YOU SAY THAT ALL THE TIME! It doesn’t count unless you leave right now!”

Coworker: “That’s just what you want, isn’t it?!”

Boss: “I want to get this closing done in peace! If that means you walk out a few days early, THEN GO!”

Coworker: “You WANT to be short-handed?! You’ll be stuck with [My Name]!”

Me: “Hey, that’s rude!”

Boss: “AT LEAST SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE’S DOING!”

My coworker lets out a scream and stomps into the back. My boss goes into her office and slams the door. I’m trying really hard not to laugh. A regular walks in about thirty seconds later. She approaches me with an expectant look on her face.

Customer: “Hey, [My Name]. What’s happening in here? Everything okay?”

Me: “Everything’s great!”

Customer: “I thought I heard yelling when I was in the parking lot.”

Me: “I can tell you that it wasn’t me.”

My customer snorted. I gave her a “shhh” signal and she snickered. I got her taken care of and she exited. [Coworker] did not quit. However, the next few days were a lot quieter!