Will Have To Bite The Bullet

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I am working customer service at a big box store. A customer comes up with a box of bullets. Store policy and law states that ammunition cannot be returned for any reason. This is clearly printed on the bottom of the receipt, surrounded by a double box of asterisks.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to bring back these bullets; they’re the wrong caliber.”

(The customer hands me the receipt.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but all ammunition is non-refundable. It says right here—”

Customer: “No, I don’t want my money back; I just want to get the right ones.”

Me: “I understand, but we can’t take ammo back under any circumstances. It’s store policy and the law.”

Customer: “No, no, no! The guy who sold them to me said if they were the wrong size I could come back and exchange it!”

Me: “No, he didn’t. There are three signs in sporting goods that clearly say you cannot return ammo. On the ammo case, behind the counter, and taped to the counter itself. It’s also clearly marked here on the bottom of your receipt. There is no way any associate in this store would tell you such a thing because it is against the law.”

(The customer leans over on the counter, in my face.)

Customer: “Are you calling me a LIAR?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am.”

(Clearly not expecting that answer, the customer stumbles his words a bit.)

Customer: “So… so what? I’m out by $30 and stuck with bullets I can’t use?”

Me: “Yes, sir, you are.”

Customer: “F***!”

(He snatches the receipt from my hand, and his bag of ammo, and storms off.)

Doing Laps

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(The store I work in has had a serious power outage, so a coworker and I are standing in the main aisles directing guests. As we’re standing there, an elderly customer on a personal scooter almost runs me over.)

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Why’s the power out?”

Me: “We’re not entirely sure yet, but our managers are contacting the power company. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Hop on my lap and take me to the men’s department.”

(My eyes go wide and I can barely respond. After I politely decline and provide directions, my coworker just looks at me.)

Coworker: “Did that just happen?”

Me: “Yes… yes it did. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first time.”

Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this.”

Me: “Okay. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I bought this yesterday, and it stopped working. I’d like my money back, please.”

(There are a few different things wrong with what the customer has just said: although the item she brought back is indeed something that we sell, it looks severely worn out, and the box that it is currently in is an older design. There is no way that this could have been purchased ‘yesterday.’ But since I can’t be accusatory just yet, I try to diffuse the situation.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have my receipt.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without a receipt, we cannot do anything.”

Customer: “Can’t you look it up by my credit card number?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our system cannot trace back credit card purchases. But if you bring your receipt, I promise you, we will take care of everything.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(The customer leaves the store. I thought it would be the end of it, because it’s highly unlikely that she would have a valid receipt. Not even five minutes later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I found my receipt. I’d like my money back, please.”

(True to her word, she has a genuine receipt! I carefully read it over. The item on the receipt matches the item she is trying to return, but the date of the receipt reads January of 2012. We’re in the middle of 2013 at this point.)

Me: “Ma’am, the receipt says you bought this in January of 2012. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

Customer: “You promised me that you would take care of it if I brought the receipt! You’re a liar!”

Me: “Ma’am, you told me you purchased this yesterday. The receipt is from over a year ago, and the box is an older design. You’re way past our 30-day return period, and you’ve been dishonest with me.”

Customer: “So… I’m not getting my money back?”

Me: “Nope. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Related:
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
Past The Point Of No Return