In Need Of Potty-Mouth Training

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I’m a cashier at a large store, and it’s nearly the end of my shift. Its fairly busy, and the customer I’m checking out is putting in her information for the check she’s writing.)

Me: “Okay, go ahead and press ‘okay,’ and then sign.”

Customer: “Alright.”

(A couple comes up behind her with a three-year-old boy in the cart, and starts loading their items on the conveyor belt.)

Young Boy: “F*** off!”

Customer: “Excuse me!?”

Young Boy: “F*** off! F*** off!”

Customer: “Ma’am, shouldn’t you do something about your son’s mouth?”

(The mother and father look shocked.)

Mother: “Oh, h*** no! My son can say whatever he wants to some uppity b****!”

(The customer looks surprised and hurt, and walks off after I give her the check and receipt. The manager comes over.)

Manager: “Your son needs to stop yelling that to other customers in line.”

Mother: “H*** NO!”

Manager: “Then you can leave.”

(The mother makes a fuss and leaves, while watching me like I have done something wrong. Afterwards, the manager turns to me.)

Manager: “You wanna go home early?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3

| Springfield, OH, USA | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal, Technology

(I have worked with a customer for about 10 or so minutes to find a pair of jeans. I hear a beeping from what sounds like a cell phone coming from the customer, but he is ignoring it.)

Me: “We have some of these on clearance here—if you need to take that, it’s fine.”

Customer: “Oh naw, that’s just my bracelet.”

(The customer leans down to his ankle to reveal a huge black bracelet for house arrest.)

Customer: “The battery is dying.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(We move to the register.)

Me: “We have a [drugstore] close by if you need any sort of battery.”

Customer: “Naw, I gotta go home and charge it. Can I go put these on?”

Me: “Sure, let me take the tags off for you, and we can process it when you come back.”

(He returns after this, and we process the exchange. He thanks me, and his bracelet begins to beep again…)

Related:
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2
About To Get Charged With Battery

Unnatural Attitude

| Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(This month, we are taking donations for children with a particular disease, and ask our customers if they’d like to donate at the end of the transaction. I ask the current customer if he would like to make a small donation.)

Customer: “No thanks. I believe in natural selection.”

(I freeze, and so does everyone standing behind him.)

Me: “Sir, this is for children with [disease].”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. Still, natural selection. If I had [disease], I know I wouldn’t want people donating to save me if I was going to die. The money can be better spent on other things.”

(By this point, half the line is glaring at him, and I’m still stunned.)

Me: “Even if you were a child, sir?”

Customer: “Yup.”

Me: “…here’s your receipt.”

(The customer leaves, and I begin taking care of the next customer.)

Next Customer: “Before you get too far, I’d like to donate $2 to make up for that guy. ‘Natural selection!’ What a monster!”

(After this customer, everyone in line who has seen our exchange made a sizable donation for the cause! Certainly made up for ‘natural selection’ guy!)