Didn’t Get Wind Of The Situation

| Mobile, AL, USA | Working | November 10, 2014

(I work for a DVD retail store on the Gulf Coast when hurricane Katrina hit. The mall we are in is closed for a few days due to damage. I get this call not long after we opened back up:)

Me: “Hello! Thanks you for calling [Store Name] where you can reserve [Some Movie].”

HR Representative: “This is [Name] from HR. We show you are listed as a full time employee with benefits. Last week you only worked for 36 hours. Can you please explain why you didn’t get the full 40 hours?”

Me: “You have to be joking.”

HR Representative: “No, sir. This is in fact very serious. If you don’t have a good reason for not making your full time status your benefits will be revoked.”

Me: “Do you know where this store is located?”

HR Representative: “Yes sir. Mobile, Alabama. Why does that matter?”

Me: “Have you heard about hurricane Katrina?”

HR Representative: “Of course! All those poor people in New Orleans but I don’t see how this matters to your current situation.”

Me: “…due to Katrina the mall was closed for a few days so I couldn’t work. Also due to Katrina I’m missing half my roof and my house has some serious water damage. Also due to Katrina my boss can’t come to work because a freaking shrimp boat washed up on the only road leaving his neighborhood.  Do you have anymore stupid questions?”

HR Representative: *quietly* “No sir. I hope everything works out and sorry for your loss.”

Me: “Thank you.”

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Banking On The Go(ing)

| Fairbanks, AK, USA | Right | November 9, 2014

(While shopping I need to use the restroom, after going in I hear the following conversation:)

Other Occupant: “Yeah, I’d like to know why my bank charged me this amount. Huh? Hold on sweetie. I can’t hear you.” *puts phone on speaker* “What was that?”

Poor Customer Service Agent: “I need your account number ,ma’am, before I can look up anything.”

Other Occupant: “Oh, sure, it’s [number].”

Poor Customer Service Agent: “Okay, that charge was an excess transfer fee.”

Other Occupant: “Hold on.”

(The other occupant flushes the toilet.)

Other Occupant: *walking past* “So what is an excess transfer fee?”

Poor Customer Service Agent: “Um…”

(The worst part? She didn’t wash her hands as she left.)

Don’t Break Or I’ll Break

| OH, USA | Working | November 8, 2014

(I’m helping a store do inventory, which starts around seven pm and goes on throughout the night. I’m easily the youngest one there, but I learn quickly. I finish my section in half the time I need, and move on to help others. At about 12:30 am, I stop for a quick break.)

Employee: “Hey, [My Name], do you wanna take a break and grab some food?”

Me: “Don’t let me take a break. Keep me working. If I go to the break room, I’m gonna curl up on the floor and sleep.”

Employee: “Gotcha. Section L needs help…”

You’ll Pay For That

| Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Working | November 7, 2014

(I work for a very well-known retailer. We do not receive paper checks; rather, our pay is deposited on cards that can be used as debit/credit cards. I am given one of these cards by the husband of one of our cashiers. I immediately recognize the name printed across the front as that of a member of our maintenance crew, who is known for being a pain… and also a friendly acquaintance of my direct supervisor.)

Me: “[Supervisor]! We HAVE to mess with [Maintenance]!” *I show her the card* “We should tell him that someone bought a TV with it but we didn’t realize it was his until after the customer left because they left the card behind, like on the check stand or something.”

Supervisor: “Oh, my god. That’s awesome!”

(We discuss how we are going to play out the prank and my supervisor pages overhead for the maintenance associate to report to the service desk.)

Maintenance: “What’s up?”

Supervisor: *as she holds out his card toward him* “Your friend Steve got the TV.”

Maintenance: *looking confused* “Steve? Who is Steve?”

Supervisor: “Steve. He got that TV for you and left this with us to get back to you.”

Maintenance: *a little more worried* “TV? What are you talking about?”

Supervisor: “That 40-inch Visio you wanted for your apartment. Steve paid for you and left to take it to your place.”

(Panicked, Maintenance starts reaching for his phone; presumably to check his balance on his card and we can’t hold it in any longer. We burst out laughing and confess the whole thing to be a joke.)

Maintenance: *to Supervisor* “You’re terrible!”

Me: *raising my hand enthusiastically* “IT WAS MY IDEA!”

Maintenance: “What?!”

Supervisor: “Yeah, [My Name] put me up to it.”

Me: “But seriously, you should thank [Cashier’s Husband]. He found it.”

(I regaled the tale to one of his closest work friends, who happened to know his PIN, and she said next time he lost track of it she was buying us all sodas on Maintenance.)

Trying To Pull A Shady Deal

| USA | Right | November 7, 2014

(I work at company that sells stone to go on houses. All of the stone is outside, and our location is surrounded by trees.)

Customer: “All of this is the same rock?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Everything in this row is the same material.”

Customer: “Why is this side so much darker?! You said it was the same!”

Me: “…ma’am, that side is in the shade.”

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