Don’t Grow Up To Be A Grown Up

| AB, Canada | Working | June 9, 2014

(We’ve had a really long week of trying to get parts out on time and most of the problems are with the machine I run. While waiting for the machine to reboot for the fifth time that day my boss strikes up a conversation.)

Boss: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Me: *thinking he’s just joking as we’re currently working an ideal job for a career and trying to joke in response* “I still don’t know.”

Boss: “What about a unicorn? I want to be a Volkswagon.”

Sorry Doesn’t Seem To Be The Hardest Word

| AK, USA | Right | June 9, 2014

(I’m ringing up a customer and giving her her bags. I forget to give her the light jacket she bought and don’t notice until she drives off. Hoping she’ll come back, I put it next to myself for safe-keeping and keep checking customers. Twenty minutes later, she returns.)

Customer: “Where’s my jacket?!”

Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *I give her back the jacket* “I’m sorry about the inconvenience, I—”

Customer: “You should be ASHAMED of yourself! This is very poor service!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am—”

Customer: “I had to get out of my car, bring in my things, see my jacket missing, get my walker, get BACK in my car, and drive all the way back here, and it was very difficult! What’s your name? I’m calling corporate about you, and they’re gonna write you up!”

Me: “I’m sorry about—”

Customer: *wry laughter* “Oh, and of course, you never ONCE said sorry!”

Me: “But I, just— I’m very sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, you apologize NOW, after I TELL you to!”

(I return to my line, shaken and a little upset, and continue ringing up the customer I was helping earlier, who witnessed the whole thing.)

Next Customer: “But you said you were sorry FOUR times. I counted!”

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Can’t Get The Transaction To Zip Along

| Mexico City, Mexico | Working | June 8, 2014

(I go to a sewing supply store to get a separating zipper. The store is not self-service; you have to ask for your items at the counter. There are displays on the wall behind the counter with examples of all the items they sell.)

Me: “I’d like a separating zipper, please.”

Clerk: *brings ordinary zipper, the kind joined at the bottom* “Here you are.”

Me: “No, a separating zipper, please.”

Clerk: “This one separates, see?” *pulls tab up and down to show me that it opens and closes*

Me: *points at one of the zippers on the wall behind her* “I meant a zipper like that one.”

Clerk: *turns to her coworker and asks wonderingly* “Do we sell those?”

Two Sides Of The Same Very Reasonable Coin

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | June 8, 2014

(Two different customers approach me at the same time to ask for help.)

Customers #1 & #2: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, how may I help you?”

(I soon realize that the customers have no relation to each other, as they ask me for help in two completely different departments.)

Me: “Hmm, how should I do this? Who do I help first?”

(Judging by their body language, neither customer wants to back down. So I reach into my pocket and pull out a coin.)

Me: “All right, we’ll do it this way. Heads or tails?”

Customer #1: “Heads!”

Customer #2: “Guess that makes me tails, then.”

(I flip the coin, and it lands tails.)

Customer #2: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go. And sir, I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done with her.”

Customer #1: “Fair enough.”

(I wish more customers were that easy to deal with!)

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The Warranty Comes Warranted, Part 2

, | AB, Canada | Right | June 8, 2014

(I’m selling a customer an iPad and introducing a new warranty which covers accidental damage, meaning you can replace your iPad for $50 rather than buying a whole new one. It’s a fantastic deal and, as the customer in question is buying the iPad for his eight-year-old daughter and wants the most expensive model, I am trying to convince him that the extra $99 for it is really worth it.)

Me: “Sir, just to check, you’re getting this for your daughter, you said?”

Customer: “Yeah. I mean, we’ll use it too, but it’s mostly for her.”

Me: “I see. In that case, you really want to consider getting the extra warranty.”

Customer: “But it comes with one that covers it for a year, right?”

Me: “Yes, but it doesn’t cover accidental damage. If she accidentally drops it and cracks the screen, it’ll cost full price to replace without the warranty. With the warranty, it’s only $50 to replace it.”

Customer: *considers it for a moment, then shakes his head* “Nah, we’ll be okay. I’ll tell her to be real careful.”

Me: *gesturing to a nearby table where we have iPads set up for kids to play with* “Sir, I’m sure your daughter is really careful with her toys, but iPads are really fragile and kids sometimes forget they’re not as hardy as their other things.”

(In perfect timing, a kid at the table then starts banging the iPad on the table hard. I grimace and the customer cringes slightly.)

Customer: “Err, no, no. It’s okay. We’ll be careful.”

(I get him to at least buy a screen cover and ring him up. He’s excited and happy at the end, so I figure everything’s all right and hopefully his daughter is as careful as he says she is. The next day, however, I see him come in with the iPad, case, and several small glass shards from the broken screen in a Ziploc bag. He sees me on his way to the tech counter and sheepishly holds up the bag.)

Customer: “I guess you were right. I’ll get the warranty this time…”

The Warranty Comes Warranted

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