Time Lord Of The Ring

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top

(We often have contests between stores as to who can sell the most items. This week, it is a specific brand of hat. To promote sales, I am wearing one with Muhammad Ali on it. I am also female.)

Customer: *scoffs* “Why are you wearing Muhammad Ali?”

Me: “I like him.”

Customer: “Oh yeah? What did you think about the fight between him and Cassius Clay?”

Me: “I was pretty impressed, considering that I wasn’t aware that he could bend space and time to fight himself before be changed his name.”

Customer: “…whatever.”

Receipted And Defeated

| Eugene, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m working the closing shift in the lumber yard, when a customer comes in just before closing with a receipt for a special order, and rushes up to one of my coworkers. It should be noted that we have two different kinds of receipts, one for orders that have been paid for but aren’t ready to be picked up, and one for orders that are ready to pick up.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Hey, you’ve been spending a lot of time with that customer. Do you need help getting them what they need so we can finish closing?”

Coworker: *shows me receipt for special order* “This is one that says they’ve paid for it, but can’t pick it up yet. I don’t know what’s happening; I’m trying to find this guy’s special order.”

Me: “You can’t load it anyway; it hasn’t been invoiced out. Did you tell him he needs to head inside, and get a different receipt?”

Coworker: “Yeah, he said he just came from there, and they just printed him this receipt. I’m calling inside the store to figure it out.”

Me: *to the customer* “Sir, when did you place this order?”

Customer: “Just now! That guy at checkout just printed that receipt. I don’t understand why you can’t load it!”

Me: “Sir, you’ve just placed a special order. That’s because we don’t carry the product normally; it has to be shipped here from the manufacturer. We can’t load it because we don’t have it.”

Customer: “Oh… that actually makes sense, sorry.”

No Common Scents, Part 2

| Destin, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work in a skin and body care store part time. We have dozens of different scents and lotion types.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “Yes, I need a lotion.”

Me: “Absolutely! Did you need something ultra-moisturizing, or hypoallergenic? Or maybe a certain scent?”

Customer: “Just give me one that smells good.”

Me: “Okay, do you prefer floral scents, or fruity ones, or—”

Customer: “God, why are you making this so difficult? Just give me one that smells good! How hard can that be?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, what I think smells good may not be what you think smells good. Every customer is different.”

Customer: “Just give me some d*** lotion!”

Me: *sighs* “Here, try this one.”

(I hand her our best-selling verbena lotion.)

Customer: “Thank you, was that so hard?”

(One hour later…)

Customer: “I want to return this lotion! It smells TERRIBLE! Why would you give this to me?”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. The outlet store does not allow returns. However, if you would like to tell me what kind of scent you prefer, maybe we can exchange it.”

Customer: *grumbles* “Fine. Got anything in rose?”

Related:
No Common Scents