Santa Will Not Be Pleased

| Bellevue, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

(It’s three weeks until Christmas, and I’m ringing up a customer when her child speaks up.)

Child: “Mommy, when’s Christmas?”

Customer: “When you eat each and every one of the chocolates from the advent calendar, it’ll be Christmas.”

Child: “But I already ate all of the chocolate…”

Oh, Bother

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working the checkout on a very busy evening. Even though it is busy, I try to make small talk with the customers as we wait for their transactions to process. One lady comes up wearing a Winnie the Pooh jacket. As a Pooh fan myself, I compliment her on her jacket.)

Me: “I just love your jacket!”

Customer: “Thanks! I just wish they had Pooh.”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “When I bought this one, they were out of stock on Pooh.”

Me: “That one does have Pooh.”

Customer: *looks down at her jacket* “Well, darn. I forgot which one I was wearing!”

Harry Potter And The Delusions Of Grandeur

| BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am working at the information desk where I look up titles for customers that can’t find what they’re looking for. An older woman approaches me with a request.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my son likes these movies. Oh, I forget what they’re called. It has three series written by an English lady. The boy has a mental disorder and he’s acting out.”

(I start giving her options of BBC documentaries, shows, etc.)

Me: “Do you remember any of the actors? Anything about what they were wearing, what they looked like, etc.?”

Customer: “The main boy has round glasses.”

Me: “Do you mean Harry Potter?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: *laughing* “What made you think he had a mental disorder?”

Customer: “He was at a big state hospital!”

Definitely Not On The DIY Channel

| Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids

(I work at a kids clothing store and a customer comes in with his wife. He is holding his newborn baby.)

Customer: “Look what we made!”

Eau De Bahamas

| Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am walking by a small selection of candles our store holds.)

Customer: “Honey! Vacation! It smells like vacation!”

(Now I’m curious and walk over.)

Me: “Sir, what fragrance do you have there?”

Customer: “VACATION!” *beams*

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