Young Boys Display Monstrous Behavior

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a costume shop, and I see a six- or seven-year-old boy looking through the aisle.)

Me: “Hey there, little guy! Are you looking for a costume?”

Boy: “Yeah! I’m gonna be a clown, zombie, vampire, werewolf, monster!”

(The mother of the boy comes around the corner.)

Mother: “Sweetie, you can only be one, so just choose one.”

Boy:” Okay, can I be a clown monster werewolf vampire?”

Me: “But not a zombie?”

Boy: “Oh yeah, and zombie!”

Me: “How about we stick two of them together? You can be a werewolf zombie, or a clown monster, or a vampire clown, even.”

Boy: “Ooh! I want to be a vampire clown. Can I be a vampire clown, please? I want lots of blood.”

Mother: “Do you even have a vampire clown costume?”

Me: “We have clown and vampire costumes separately. I’d say a clown outfit, some vampire teeth, and some blood should make the costume right.”

Boy: “Do you have lots of blood?”

(I point to the rack with small tubes of fake blood.)

Me: “We only have these.”

Boy: “No, I want lots of blood.”

Me: “Well, I’m sure it’ll have enough—”

Boy: *serious face* “No. I want lots of blood. I’ll just have to take yours…”

Should Take Stock Of Their Stupidity

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Excuse me; do you have this item in a smaller size?”

Me: *checking computer* “Unfortunately we don’t, but [other location 15 minutes away] is showing several. Would you like us to bring one over for you within the next couple of days? Or, if you like, we can call and have them hold it if you want to go there.”

Customer: “We were there two weeks ago and they didn’t have it. Your computer must be wrong.”

Me: “I’ll of course call to confirm their totals, but since we get stock in all the time it is possible that they have received some between then and now.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you ‘get stock all the time?'”

Me: “Well, every once in a while we get shipments to replace anything we’ve sold out of, or to bring in new merchandise.”

Customer: “That’s stupid.”

Heavy Lighter Reaction

| Galveston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(Along the front of the register counter, we have boxes of novelty lighters for sale, the most popular of which are shaped like flip-flops. Everyone plays with them, ignoring the huge neon signs that state: ‘Please do NOT play with lighters!’ As a result, a number of them are empty and no longer work. A pair of teenage customers are waiting in line, while I ring up another customer.)

Me: “Alright, your total is [total].”

(As I hand the change to the customer, I notice one of the teenagers pick up a flip-flop lighter and start flicking it.)

Me: “Please do NOT play with the lighters.”

(The teenage customer huffs and drops it back into the box while muttering to her friend.)

Customer: “Why not? I’m old enough!”

Me: “It’s not a matter of age. If everyone ignores the signs and plays with the lighters, they become empty. And then no one will buy them.”

(I ring up the teenager’s items, and give her the change.)

Me: “Have a nice night!”

Customer: “I’ll TRY. But I doubt I will because you were such a b****!”

(The teenage customer then storms off, leaving all her stuff in the bag on the counter.)

Me: “Don’t forget your bag!”

Customer: “Ugh! This is why I hate shopping; everyone is like, so RUDE!”