Es-pwñ-ol, Part 3

| Newark, NJ, USA | Right | March 9, 2015

(I’m with my mother buying a pouch and a case for my brothers hand-held gaming system. I go off on my own to find some computer games. Not even five minutes later I return to my mom looking very flustered with an employee. My mother and I are Peruvian. She speaks Spanish and struggles with English.)

Me: *in Spanish* “Ma, are you okay?”

Mom: *in Spanish* “No, I can’t remember the stupid name for this s***. The thing that covers the DS for you brother, what is it?”

Me: *to the employee, in English* “Oh, my mom is looking for a cover for the 3DS. Do you have any?”

Employee: “Yes, I showed your mom the selection right here; these are the ones we have.”

Me: *in Spanish* “Ma, they only have these.”

Mom: *in Spanish* “No, this f****** idiot isn’t understanding me! I want the ones in foam because your brother keeps breaking the plastic ones.”

Employee: *in Spanish* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I know what you want. They’re over here at the next aisle.”

(My mom turned a deep shade of red and mumbled out an apology, saying she was flustered and couldn’t control her temper. I was laughing so hard because I’m always telling my mom that just because she thinks they can’t understand her Spanish and talks s***, doesn’t mean she won’t get caught!)

 

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Smiling With Suspicious Intent

| TX, USA | Right | March 7, 2015

(I’m known at work for being cheerful and always having a smile for everyone. A customer comes to my till and puts down his things, and I smile and greet him.)

Customer: “What are you grinning about?”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I saw you grinning like you’re laughing at me or something. Stop that.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I was just trying to be cheerful.”

Customer: “Well, don’t! It’s too suspicious!”

(The customer finished the transaction and walked away, glaring and muttering about ‘suspicious’ the whole time.)

Needs To Think Outside The Boxes

| London, England, UK | Working | March 6, 2015

(I happen to overhear this exchange between the cashier and the lady in front of me in the queue:)

Customer: “Can I have 40 [Brand] cigarettes, please?”

Cashier: “Sorry, we only have those in boxes of 20.”

Don’t Leave Me Hanger Hanging

| MN, USA | Working | March 6, 2015

(I’m a sensitive 14-year-old girl. My mother and I take all the hangers off of our clothes at the checkout.)

Me: “Where do you want these?”

Cashier: *deadpans* “I don’t want them.”

Me: *horrified and looking around*

Cashier: “I’m just kidding kid, give them to me.”

Mom: *laughing hysterically*

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7

| TX, USA | Right | March 6, 2015

(I’m working as a cashier on Black Friday. A man cuts to the front of the line with an armful of clothing.)

Me: “Uh, sir, you’ll have to go to the back of the line. I’m sorry.”

Rude Customer: “F*** that! No way I’m waiting that long! Just make it quick!”

Me: “No, sir. You just cut the line, and I won’t serve you.”

Rude Customer: “Oh, f*** you! Just do your job already! You’re only making this take longer!”

(At this point, the customer he cut in front of, a man in his early 20s, speaks up, quietly and calmly.)

Calm Customer: “Just go back and wait in line, man. Stop being a dick.”

Rude Customer: “F*** y-”

(The rude customer rounds on the calm one as he speaks, raising his hand in what may or may not have been an attempt at a backhand. Regardless, the calm customer catches his arm, twists it, and slams the rude customer’s face into the counter hard enough for it to make an audible thunk through the clothes. The entire time, the calm customer remains stone faced.)

Rude Customer: “Ow! A**-hole! Lemme go! You can’t do this!”

Calm Customer: “Texas law says I can use lethal force if I’m attacked.”

(He twists the man’s arm a little more, causing him to cry out.)

Calm Customer: “You don’t want that, do you?”

Rude Customer: “Ow! No! Just lemme go!”

Calm Customer: “Where are you going to go?”

Rude Customer: “Back of the line! Back of the line!”

Calm Customer: “And are you going to be patient? And polite?”

Rude Customer: “Yeah, man! Sure!”

Calm Customer: “Apologize to the nice young lady, now.”

Rude Customer: *starting to cry slightly* “I’m sorry! I’m sorrryyyyy!”

(The calm customer released the rude one, who almost looked like he was going to attack again. One look at the calm customer’s completely emotionless face seemed to make him think twice, though, and he grabbed his clothes and scampered back to the end of the line.)

 

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