I Only Speak Sale

| Redding, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “What does ‘repackage’ mean?”

Me: “It means that an item has been re-packaged.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that the item is no longer in the original packaging that it came in. It’s either because it was a return, or because the packaging got destroyed.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that we have discounted it for you to compensate for the missing package.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that the item is cheaper now than it was originally.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that it’s on clearance.”

Customer: “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall And Not For Sale

, | St. Paul, MN, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in a second hand clothing store. The store has racks of clothes and a couple full length mirrors. A man walks in.)

Customer: “Where are your mirrors for sale?”

Me: “Um, we don’t sell mirrors.”

Customer: “What do you sell?”

Me: “Clothing. We’re a clothing store.”

Customer: “What kind of a place is this?!” *storms out*

Lost In No Translation, Part 3

| Lake Grove, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Hello. Do you have an Italian to American dictionary?”

(Note that the caller doesn’t seem to have trouble speaking English, and has a New York accent.)

Me: “We have Italian to English dictionaries.”

Customer: “No, no. I need Italian to American because English is a different language, right?”

Me: “The English language is what we speak in America.”

Customer: *frustrated* “Can I speak to someone who might know better?!”

Related:
Lost In No Translation

Jealousy Is A (Rude) Green-Eyed Monster

| Owen Sound, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

(I am helping a customer in line when the phone starts ringing.)

Customer: “Here, I’ll fix that.” *picks up phone and hangs up*

Me: “Sir, you can’t do that. The people calling are customers, too.”

Customer: “I don’t want anyone to come between us.”

(The phone starts ringing again.)

Customer: “You need to help me first!”

Me: “Sir, I promise not to answer the phone until we’re finished.”

Customer: “I can’t take that chance!” *hangs up the phone again*

Of Objects And Objectivity

, | London, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you sell MP3s?”

Me: “MP3 players, sir?”

Customer: “No, no, no. I want to buy MP3s.”

Me: “You can buy MP3s from our website’s digital store. It’s really easy. However, we don’t sell MP3s in store, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “So, you don’t sell MP3s in store? Why?”

Me: “You can’t hold an MP3, sir.”

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