The Only Way To Stop The Call Going Down Under

| IA, USA | Right | November 28, 2014

(I work at a well-known electronics store in the computer department.  I am at the customer service desk finishing up with another customer when the phone rings. Seeing that the customer service reps are all busy I take the call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to speak to someone in computers.”

Me: “I can actually help you. What questions do you have?”

Caller: “Oh… I thought I called the customer service desk.”

Me: “You did. I just happened to be up here and answered the phone.”

Caller: “Well, I would really like to talk to someone in computers.”

Me: “I do work in the computer department. I was just up here…”

Caller: “Could you please transfer me to computers so I can talk to a computer salesman?”

Me: “Okay… please hold.”

(My manager is standing close by and asked what is going on. I explain the call to him and tell him I am going to go to the computer department to take the call. My manager decides to follow me since he knows my sense of humor and is sure this is only going to get better. Once in the computer department I pick up the call.)

Me: “[Store] computers. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Aren’t you the guy I just asked to transfer me to computers?”

Me: “Yes. I am in the computer department. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I WANT SOMEONE WHO WORKS IN COMPUTERS!”

Me: “Sir, I do work in computers and I am fact in the computer department. How can I help you?”

Caller: “DON’T LIE TO ME. YOU WORK IN CUSTOMER SERVICE AND I TOLD YOU I WANT TO SPEAK TO A COMPUTER SALESMAN NOW OR I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!”

Me: “Okay, sir, please hold.”

(I hang up the phone and get the grin on my face that my coworkers as well as my manager know means I’m thinking up something good. After a few seconds I pick the phone back up.)

Me: *in an obviously fake Australian accent* “G’Day, sir! How can help you?”

(My manager and coworkers are covering their mouths to hide their laughter.)

Caller: “Finally. I have a question about the computer in your ad.”

(I answered all the customers questions still with an Australian accent, and tried hard not to laugh myself. The customer thanked me and stated that he will be in later to pick up the computer. My manager told me the next day that the caller came in after my shift and asked to speak to the nice Australian man that helped on the phone. It was all he could do to keep a straight face.)

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Take A Rain Check On That Price Check

| Manchester, England, UK | Right | November 27, 2014

(On my day off I decide to shop at a store nearby the one I work in. I am having a look when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, love, but this shower head—”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t work here”

(The employees at this store wear red shirts and black pants, whereas I have a brown coat, red trainers, and am texting.)

Customer: *looks me up and down* “Well, no, but you work at [My Store], don’t you?”

Me: “Well, yes, but…”

Customer: “Good. So would it be cheaper for me to buy these here or at your store?”

Me: “Honestly, I couldn’t tell you without being in the other store.”

Customer: “I thought you said you worked there? You should be able to tell me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know the price by memory.”

Customer: “How much is the one I have now, then?”

Me: “I don’t work here. I’d imagine it would cost whatever the price ticket said when you picked it up”

Customer: “Well, you’ve been bloody useless, haven’t you?” *storms off*

Hard Working To The Corp

| AR, USA | Working | November 26, 2014

(At a big-box retail store, I, a newbie, have just injured myself with a box-cutter and go to patch myself up with gauze and tape. We’re talking an inch-long slice that skipped off the joint in my thumb. On returning, I have this exchange with my manager, a retired marine.)

Manager: “I just had to send [Coworker] home for fainting at the sight of the mess you made.”

Me: “And?”

Manager: “You need stitches, and I need to file an accident report.”

Me: “I need to finish my aisle, and you need to call in a replacement for [Coworker].”

Manager: “Oo-rah.”

Unable To Deconstruct Their Reasoning

| ON, Canada | Right | November 26, 2014

(I am working a summer job as an administrative assistant on a construction site. As part of my job, I go into a major office supply store for supplies quite often. Working on site I always have to wear a day-glo reflective shirt, jeans, and work boots, obviously a very different uniform than any retail store. Also, I would usually be very dusty because of the conditions on the work site.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where can I find the binders that are on sale?”

Me: *ignoring her because I think she’s talking to a nearby employee*

Customer: “Excuse me!” *grabs my shoulder*

Me: *jumping back* “Uh…”

Customer: “Oh, do you not work here?”

Me: “Obviously not.”

Customer: “No need to be rude!”

(Another time, same store. Standing in line at the check-out, a customer in front of me wants to make a return. The cashier has to call the manager.)

Cashier: *calls manager over speakers*

Customer: *clears throat and looks at me*

Me: *ignores her*

Customer: *clears throat again, loudly*

Me: “Uh… yes?”

Customer: “Why are you just standing there? I need to make a return.”

Me: “That is precisely why I’m standing here. I’m waiting for you.”

Customer: “You’re just standing around while the cashier needs your help?! I don’t have all day, you know!”

Me: “Oh. I don’t work here.”

(The manager arrives, does the transaction, and the lady leaves.)

Cashier: “You’re obviously wearing construction clothes. Why would anyone think you work here?”

Me: “I honestly could not tell you. But this is not the first time it has happened.”

(By the end of the summer, about 80% of the time I went to that store, a customer would mistake me for an employee. It became a running joke between me and the store staff.)

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Wii-U Are Not Listening

| Portland, OR, USA | Right | November 25, 2014

(I’m browsing video games in a large national department store where all employees are required to wear red. This particular store, I’ve noticed, is pretty relaxed about what form the red shirt or top can take, as well as the shade of red. Coincidentally, I’m wearing a red t-shirt with a local hockey team’s name across it. A mother and her ten-year-old boy approach me.)

Mother: “Excuse me, is the Nintendo Wii still on sale?”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: “I’m not sure. I don’t work here.”

Mother: “Can you call someone back here who would know? He wants the Wii really badly.”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: “Well, there’s a customer service button over in movies. That should bring someone over. And I think he wants the Wii-U, the new system they came out with.”

Mother: “You want me to walk over into another department and ring a bell?! What the h*** kind of employee are you?”

Me: “I’m an employee of [National Insurance Company]. I’m not a clerk at this store.”

Mother: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! You’re a punk kid!”

Me: “I’m 26.”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Mother: *grabbing kid’s hand* “You know what? We’ll go to [Well-known Toy Store Chain] and pay full price for the god d*** Wii, because I’m sick of this crap!”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: *laughing* “Is that all he says?”

Mother: “HOW DARE YOU!”

(Eventually she was escorted from the store and the manager, after watching the entire exchange on the security tapes, let me use my ’employee’ discount on the game I wanted. I got it for… Wii-U!)

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