Showing Devilish Customers How It’s Done

| AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Religion, Top

(A particularly angry customer comes through my line. Despite my best and calmest efforts to help, she begins to yell at me in front of the whole line. Among other things, she calls me names, says I don’t deserve to be alive, and then tries to punch me on the top of my head. I have to spend a full twenty minutes in the break room to try and calm down. One of my coworkers has witnessed the whole thing. The very next day, the customer returns, acting like nothing has happened. My coworker suddenly stands in front of customer.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Coworker: “Because yesterday you yelled at and assaulted one of my coworkers until she cried. I believe that’s grounds for a ban from the store. Please get out.”

Customer: *growing angry* “You can’t do that, you brat!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, three minutes’ worth of security footage and several witnesses says I CAN do that. You will not be welcome here any longer. Leave.”

Customer: “You can just go to H***, you—”

Coworker: “I went there once. Now I RULE it. Now GET OUT OF OUR STORE.”

(By this time three of the managers have arrived to back him up and escort the customer out. She screamed for a little while longer but eventually left, and never came back!)

Solving A Thorny Issue

| MO, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(A phone call comes in at work.)

Me: “This is the electronics department. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need this movie for my nephew! It’s all he wants.”

Me: “Okay, which movie is it?”

Caller:Game of Thorns! Number two!”

Me: “Oh, Game of Thrones, maybe? The second season?”

Caller: “NO! Game of THORNS! NUMBER two!”

Me: “I don’t believe there’s a movie called Game of Thorns. I do have the second season of Game of Thrones, though.”

Caller: *very angry now* “It’s Game of Thorns! Thorns! T-H-R-O—” *mumbles* “Thooorns… thrrrones?” *very quietly* “Game of Thrones…”

Me: “…”

Caller: “Yeah. You got that?”

Me: “Yes. We have several copies of Game of Thrones. Seasons one and two.”

(The caller hangs up.)

He Has The Floor Model But His Wife Has The Floor

| Allentown, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Top

(My fair-trade, non-profit store is rather on the small side. We have no stockroom, meaning that all of our available merchandise is on the sales floor. One night I am working alone when new customers come in. The wife is very pleasant, but the husband decides that he’s going to do everything in his power to mess with me. After about twenty minutes of his questioning my store’s mission, whether we really qualify as a non-profit, and why he should care about the people who make the products we sell, he and his wife decide on a silk lamp. We have only one available.)

Customer: “How much is the lamp?”

Me: “That is [price].”

Customer: “I mean after my discount. You’re going to give me a discount because I’m buying the floor model.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have a back room. Everything we sell is the ‘floor model.’ It’s going to be [price].”

Customer: “Oh, come on! You gotta give me some kind of discount!”

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, stop talking before I tell her to add on a bonus charge for having to put up with you.”