Mothers Can Be Soul-Destroying

| USA | Right | March 30, 2015

(I work in a Halloween pop up shop that sells costumes and accessories. A mother and son, about five years old, come in.)

Boy: “Excuse me, I want a Batman costume.”

Woman: “Not too expensive, please.”

Me: “Okay! Let me let me show you where they are.”

(I lead them to the costumes, turn around to talk to them, and the boy is completely naked.)

Boy: “I’m going to try that one!”

Woman: “[Boy]! We need to put on your clothes!”

Boy: “But you said being naked is good for your soul.”

Me: *trying unsuccessfully to stifle laughter*

(The woman is frantically apologizing and trying to put on her son’s clothes.)

Son: “No! My soul!”

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Needs Some Fabric Softener

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | March 27, 2015

(I work at a large big box retailer that sells fabrics, interior furnishings and home-wares, and craft. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store Name and Location]. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help you this afternoon?”

Customer: “Hi, I was in your store earlier and I purchased some curtain fabric, and I have an issue with the piece.”

Me: “Okay, sure thing. If there are any flaws, just bring the piece back with your receipt and we’ll be more than happy to replace the piece for you.”

Customer: “Excuse me? Did I say the fabric was flawed?”

Me: “Uh, okay. So what is the issue then?”

Customer: “Well, as I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, I was in your store purchasing some curtaining fabric earlier today, and I paid for five metres. The problem is that I was only given five metres of fabric.”

Me: “Okay, well that is standard practice for all of our stores to give you as much fabric as you pay for.”

Customer: “Well, this is obviously unacceptable. What if I make a mistake when sewing the edges up? You should have given me half a metre extra, so I am coming back to the store now and I want five and a half metres of [fabric] waiting for me for the inconvenience you’ve caused me.”

Me: “That is fine; you’ll have to pay for the extra metre so I will let the department team know you’re coming in for the exchange.”

Customer: “Aren’t you listening to me? You owe me a free half metre of fabric so I will not be paying for it.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot do this, madam. I apologise for any inconveniences caused but no customer will get fabric for free.”

Customer: “You clearly don’t understand how retail works, you stupid child.”

Me: “How about I get a manager to chat with you about this and we can go from there?”

(The manager who had been standing next to me the entire time laughing at me threw me a dirty look, and answered the call. The customer still didn’t understand why we wouldn’t give her the free fabric, and angrily hung up on my manager. She never came in, as far as we know.)

Don’t Make A Racket About The Jacket

| Liverpool, England, UK | Working | March 26, 2015

(I order a jacket from a retailer. I am charged for it, but then they email to say the jacket is out of stock and I will be refunded. I then re-order the jacket in a different size and am charged again before I realise that Paypal has put a hold on the original refund. I have basically been charged twice which leads to my bank being overdrawn. A few days later, I receive BOTH jackets only to find out I had, in fact, been refunded for one. I then return the second one and am refunded again! So, as not to become overdrawn when the company realises they’ve refunded me twice, I call them. After explaining the situation, this happens.)

Retailer: “So, you’re basically calling to tell us you have too much money?”

Me: “Yes. I just don’t want to have one of the refunds taken when I don’t expect it and to be put in the negative.”

Retailer: “Well… thank you for being so honest. As this was the fault of [Company] and not yourself, I’ve put a note on your account. You’re not in the wrong, so essentially… you have a free jacket. Keep the refunds. Have a nice day.”

(Thank you to the lovely person at [Company], you made the terrible week I’d had better!)

You’ve Been Framed

| UK | Right | March 26, 2015

(I am a manager of an independent retail store with strict refund/exchange policies.)

Customer: “Hello, I purchased this frame the other day and would like to swap it as it’s the wrong one.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No. I just want to swap it.”

Me: “Okay, well, without a receipt I can’t really exchange it. It’s also not recognised on our till so I don’t know how much it was originally, therefore can’t swap it as I don’t know if it’s equal value.”

Customer: “THIS IS DISGUSTING! You are meant to support local businesses! This is disgusting!”

Me: “I’m sorry; if you have a bank statement perhaps we can do something.”

Customer: “NO, THIS IS DISGUSTING! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T EVEN WANT YOUR F****** PHOTO-FRAME!”

(The customer proceeded to throw the glass photo-frame across the store at my head. I swerved and avoided being hit with the frame and the customer stormed out of the shop. I stood, shocked by what had just happened. The customer then came back into store and demanded the photo-frame back, shouting that she would be making an official complaint about me!)

I Hail From Unenthusia

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | March 25, 2015

(I witness the end of this conversation between a customer and my coworker. The customer sometimes comes in drinking alcohol, and my coworker is usually very sweet and polite.)

Customer: “What’s your accent?”

Coworker: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Where’s your accent from?”

Coworker: “…I’m from here. Australian.”

Customer: “Oh… You sound more American or something…”

(The customer finishes his transaction and leaves.)

Coworker: “More like my accent was unenthusiasm…”

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