Additional Charge For Unlimited Sexism Plan

| Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Technology

Me: “Good afternoon! Welcome to [store name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “My phone’s not working, and your service is crap.”

Me: “Well, I’d be more than happy to help you. Sorry for your inconvenience.”

Customer: “Just fix the d*** thing and stop talking!”

Me: *shocked* “Yes, sir.”

(After a few minutes of testing his device, I figure out the problem is that the phone simply has not been charged.)

Me: “Sir, your phone is dead. It needs to be charged. That’s why you weren’t able to place a call or turn the device on.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “I am the manager, sir.”

Customer: “But you’re a woman!”

Me: “Yes, sir, last time I checked, I was.”

Customer: *very condescendingly* “Your place is in the kitchen. I want to speak with a male!”

Me: *speechless*

It Never Hurts To Ask…And Ask…And Ask

, | Ontario, Canada | Technology

Customer: “I need help finding a cord to plug my printer into my computer. It’s a [printer] and a Mac computer.”

Me: “Well, all printer cables are universal these days, so I’ll show you where they are.”

(We go to the cable aisle.)

Me: “This is the cable you’ll need. It comes in two different lengths.”

Customer: “This is the one I need?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Just like that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “You just know this is the cable I need?”

Me: “Yes, they are all the same.”

Customer: “How do you know?”

Me: “Because all the cables are made the same. This square part goes in the printer, and this part goes in your computer.”

Customer: “And you just know this is the right one?”

Me: “Yes, there is only one kind.”

Customer: “And you’re sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How?”

Me: “Because they are all universal.”

Customer: “But how do you know that?”

Me: “I don’t know. Maybe because I work here?”

Customer: “Well, if this isn’t the right one, I’ll be bringing it back!”

March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

, , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

  1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
    Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
  2. When Press Comes To Shove:
    A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
  3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
    Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
  4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
    Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
  5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
    A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.

I Forgot To Remember To Forget

| New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer hears an Elvis song playing and starts the following conversation with me.)

Customer: “Oh, I love Elvis. He’s the best! Do you know who Elvis is?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I do.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t believe you don’t know who Elvis is!”

Me: “Uh…I said I do.”

Customer: “Oh, you kids nowadays…don’t know any good music!”

Me: *giving up* “Yeah, I guess not.”

(Two days later, she comes in with a huge Elvis poster and asks for me at the register.)

Customer: “Hey, where’s that foreign girl who doesn’t know who Elvis is?”

Of Chemically Unsound Mind

| West Virginia, USA | Math & Science

(I am stocking shelves in my store when a customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Do you know why Clorox is called Clorox?”

Me: “Possibly because its active ingredients include chlorine and oxygen atoms?”

Customer: “There’s no oxygen in Clorox! That’s what we breathe! You kids need to go back to school, cause you ain’t learnin’ nothin’!” *storms away*

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