Pounding Out A Deal

| UK | Right | March 23, 2015

(I work in a charity shop. Everything is very cheap but we also have an ‘everything £1’ rail for clothing with minor issues; small marks, loose buttons etc. or for clothing that’s been in the shop for a while. A customer comes to the counter with a few items from the £1 rail.)

Customer: “This has a mark. Look.”

(She points out a tiny black speck, like a dot from a pen.)

Me: “Yes, I see. It’s £1.”

Customer: “I don’t know if the mark will wash out.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “Can I get a discount?”

Me: “It was on the £1 rail. It’s already discounted.”

Customer: “But it has a mark!”

Me: “Yes, that’s why it’s only £1.”

Customer: “Can’t you just take something off for the mark?”

Me: “Uh, no. It’s £1. That IS the discount.”

Customer: *sighing heavily* “Oh, all right, then. I’ll take it. I just hope it comes out.”

(The kicker? Her total was just £4, and she had to sort through a bunch of £20 notes in her purse until she found a £5 to pay with!)

The Breast Awareness, Part 2

| SA, Australia | Right | March 23, 2015

(I work in the store my parents own, when my father, who works at a hardware store up the road, comes in for lunch like he usually does. He proceeds to match stories with me about what we call ‘Thickhead Thursday’ customers. He tells me about a particularly rude man who abused all the assistants in his hardware store. No more than five minutes after, said customer walks into our store.)

Customer: *looks at dad* “OH, GOD!”

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: *still looking at my father* “I bought this watch band and I need a new crimp clip for it.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We don’t keep them, but I can give you the maker’s details and you can contact him. He lives here in town.”

(The customer finally looks at me and notices I have decent sized breasts. His eyes do not move from them for the rest of the conversation.)

Customer: “Thank you for your help. You’re a lovely girl.”

(He leaves.)

Dad: “Shame, I wanted him to have a go at you.  I wanted to tell him to f*** off. Why didn’t he?”

Me: “I have breasts.”

 

Mother Knows Best

| UK | Working | March 23, 2015

(I volunteer twice a week in the same charity shop as my parents. One day I’m sitting at the cash register in front of the signing-in book.)

Me: “Dad, who signed me in today?”

Dad: “Oh your mother did. Why?”

Me: “…She spelled my name wrong.”

Cardi-gonna Get You In Trouble

| Kent, England, UK | Working | March 22, 2015

(I’m browsing, with my mum and little sister, in a local charity shop that supports a well-known research company. It’s the height of summer, and said sister is wearing a cardigan because she is self-conscious whilst outside in public.)

Mum: *to sister* “Hey, [Sister], there are some nice dresses over here that you might like.”

(I’m over the other side of the shop browsing their book collection. There is currently one member of staff in the shop, manning the till, but currently doing nothing.)

Sister: *moans* “Mum, it’s hot in here.”

Mum: “Okay, hun. Put it in my bag for the meanwhile.”

(Then, the middle-aged staff member appears right behind them both.)

Employee: *narrows eyes* “Excuse me, ma’am, but we do not tolerate your kind in here.”

Mum: *baffled* “…I’m sorry?”

Employee: “Don’t pretend you don’t know!”

Mum: *exasperated* “No, I don’t know! What are you talking about?!”

(The employee looks at my sister, bends down slightly and tuts at her.)

Employee: “It’s a shame your generation are this way.” *to herself* She should know better.”

(By now I can see my mum is kind of losing it and my sister is tearful. I intervene.)

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am, but don’t you think it’s unfair to make an accusation of someone without actually telling them what is it they’re being accused of?”

Employee: *sighs dramatically* “Oh, all right then.” *points menacingly at sister* “I saw her put one of our cardigans in that bag! Stealing!”

Mum: “That was hers! She came in wearing it!”

Employee: *scoffs* “Yeah, pull the other one.”

(I pull the cardigan from Mum’s bag and show the label to the rude employee.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve worked in charity shops before, and they tag clothes just like any other store you’ll find. There is no tag on this cardigan!”

Employee: “She could have taken it off!”

Me: “But this cardigan is [well-known Brand name] and you don’t even sell that kind of label here!”

Employee: “Hmph. Well, rest assured, I’ll be speaking to my manager about this.”

(As we swiftly removed ourselves from the shop, the woman was wagging her finger at us from the large window display. Later, we called the manager before the employee did, and got a profuse apology. The employee was also fired for her appalling treatment of customers.)

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Toiling In The Toilet

| TX, USA | Right | March 19, 2015

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. Whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with tonight?”

Customer: “Listen, this is going to be an odd request, but I need you to bring me some toilet paper.”

Me: *already knowing this is a prank call* “I wish I could, sir.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you?”

Me: “Because I’m not at your house, sir.”

Customer: “No, see, I’m not at my house. I’m in the back.”

Me: “In the back… of one of our stores?”

Customer: “Yes. And there’s no toilet paper back here, so I need you to bring me some.”

Me: “Okay, sir. And which store are you located at?”

Customer: *sighs* “Listen… why are you playing games with me?”

Me: “I’m not, sir. I’m simply asking because the store you are in may not be located in the same place, or the same state, that I’m in.”

Customer: *long pause* “F*** it, I’m just going to use my hand.”  *click*

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